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Author Topic: What do you think about this????  (Read 1394 times)


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What do you think about this????
« on: Aug 28, 2006, 05:13:43 PM »
Hi all!!
I am new here. I have spent the last few HOURS checking this site out. Oh my goodness...what a wealth of info there is!!!! I wish I new about this site several years ago!

I am a step mom to a wonderful now 17 yr old. My hubby and I have been married since he was 4. To make a long story short....BM has caused numerous problems over the years.  But that is nothing new.

The thing I am upset about is that about 4 years ago, she started having a "cc" sent to her on EVERY email my hubby's son sent to him. He is 17 now and she still does it. I think it is ridiculous to have one sent to her. Hubby and his son need to have a way of communicating that is private. I know she also listens when they are on the phone.

I know she is doing this so she can see what they are saying but I feel it is violating their privacy and their lines of communication. How do we stop this?? His son does whatever his mother says. I am not saying that he is to defy her, but enough is enough!!

What can we do??
Thanks in advance!!


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RE: What do you think about this????
« Reply #1 on: Aug 29, 2006, 12:44:51 AM »

you have 2 options that I see.

First and best is to let son deal with his mother if he is unhappy about the lack of privacy. if it is only on emails to DH's name, son can handle mom.

The other option is to create either or both with a new hotmail account and let them communicate there. It's kinda sneaky but will accomplish your objective.

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Advice from a BTDT
« Reply #2 on: Aug 29, 2006, 04:45:36 PM »
I was like your SS. My mother put pressure on me to do and say things when I was 16 and 17. I did them to keep peace with my mother, even though I knew better.  It was easier than the mental torture my mother heaped on me and my siblings for "disloyalty".

Though I loved my father, I could not trust him to RESCUE me. I waited her out and took the first train outta crazyville that I could at age 17.

Your SS is likely allowing the poor behavior until he has a real say in his life. Have some patience and give him a little slack.

IF it is bothering your husband, have him do a heart to heart with SS when they can be face to face.  Most men are visual creatures and rely on visual clues to read a discussion -- they find a conversation much more satisfying than a letter.

You may just find that SS doens't see it as a problem, or that he sees it and is playing a waiting game with BM.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


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