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What do I say

Started by Nowastepmom, Feb 13, 2004, 06:54:05 PM

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Davy

Of course ALL children are important and I've never posted anything to say otherwise nor did I say that small children rule the roost.  Nor did I ever indicate that a child should refer to a legal spouse as 'daddy' or 'mommy' (BUT YOU HAVE).  Nor has anything been mentioned about shacking up.  Bookmarking single female message boards is ridiculous.

Reread my post and focus.  Stop trying to manipulate and deceive every issue into convulsions.  

StPaulieGirl

So what about lying to strangers about the relationship between your stepchild andyourself?  That is what this whole post is supposed to be all about.  I guess in certain circumstances, lying is perfectly acceptable...

I offered an example of if my child should want to introduce a stepfather as her daddy, but you apparently won't address that.  She is experiencing the same emotions as that little 5 yr old boy is!  

Hey, you doperoped me again! LOL, you must be a lawyer :)(


StPaulieGirl

Let me try and explain my comment.  When I grew up, it was considered disrespectful to call your elders by their first name.  Therefore close adult friends of the family were called Auntxxx and Unclexxx.  

Now, this 5 yr old boy wants to call his stepmother mom in public and this makes stepmom uncomfortable.  I would feel uncomfortable too.  The BM is alive, therefore he has a mother.  A compromise that might work for both is for the boy to call his stepmom "Mama Annie", for instance.  Only the most clueless wouldn't understand that she is not his BM, but that she is an important adult figure in his life.

This would not be a bold faced lie.  In fact I think for a child that young, he should be taught respect for his father's wife, and her role in his life.  This situation in reverse would have you spitting nails, Davy.

Now what problem do you have with this possible solution?

Davy

I have graciously responded to these posts with the following :

Saying "I am daddy's helper" is a very pausible non-threatening explanation for a sensitive 5 year old. It should/would be the TRUTH, set a good example, teach and reinforce with actions all at the same time. In my opinion, that statement would be considered uplifting for all concerned irregardless of the relationship.

For sake of clarification, a husband is a "helper" to a wife just like a wife is a "helper" to a husband.


READ AND WEEP.  Be creative.  Think.  

What's your post count today ?  Geesh.  Control freak ?  Constantly NEEDING to get the last word ?  Trying to divide and conquer ?  A trouble maker ?  What you can't comprehend is your problem and no one else's.   It is easy to determine how you provoked your ex into DV.  

Moreover, when I was raising kids alone there was absolutely no time (or money) to afford the time to constantly post to a web site.  Why don't you want to tend to your children's needs and be a parent ??

MixedBag


sweetnsad

Davy...what the hell is wrong with you???  What kind of a response is that???  How disgusting...while the child's feeling certainly come foremost, her feelings matter too....and lying about the situation doesn't set ANY good example for the child...
That was just about the stupidest response I've ever seen you write.


sweetnsad

Just for clarification Davy, I am no one's "helper", especially my SO's...who taught you this stuff anyway??  Sheesh...

StPaulieGirl

More like read, shake my head, and die laughing.  You just made me wake the cat up!

The truth is that you cannot bear to so much as type the word mother, or it's variations.  Helper?  That's a job description, not what a child calls his/her step parent.  I don't have a problem with this, but someone else does, and I offered that person a possible solution to the problem.  You chimed in with some nonsense about a 5 yr old kid making the rules.

I don't constantly need to get in the last word.  However, if someone is going to post the kind of bs that you do, I'm not going to sit there and ignore it, just for the sake of your comfort level.

It is easy to determine how you provoked your ex into DV.

Good move, Davy.  While you're at it why not ask the men on this board what they did to their wives to deserve being abused?  You have got to be the poster child for the radical feminist movement.  You make Archie Bunker look like Dr. Phil with your undisguised hatred for the female half of the population.  Shall I call my daughters up and ask them what they did to their father to make him hit them, call them names, and kick their door and walls in?  Since the cat is awake, maybe I should discuss why the ex felt the need to kick him and the dog.  Angus had to have provoked him into doing it, right?  You're an asshole.  

I'm right here taking care of my kids, and wading through probate papers, and calling doctors and teachers for the kids.  I don't go to parties or bar hopping.  I'm right here with them, the washing machine, and the stove.   Exactly where a female should be, right? Maybe I should wear a burkha and paint the windows over too.  Maybe you should move the hell to the Middle East where the men are men and the goats are nervous.


sweetnsad


kiddosmom