To those who have been following my posts and any others interested!

[Stepmom0418]

Well my DH attorney just called. I am pleased to announce that we ARE going to trial!! BM's attorney and DH attorney are going to submit a joint motion that the mediation agreement be vacated and move for trial! We thought they would fight us on moving for trial and try to make the mediation agreement a co but much to our surprise they WANT to go to trial.

The funniest thing is that BM's attorney has NO idea what he is up against and that BM has told him nothing but lies.

DH has TRUE and COMPLETE documentation as well as police reports and a long paper trail to prove all of our points.

As some of you know BM has made a point of making up lies to try and get supervised visits and ect. But we have been able to prove all of them as lies and NO supervised so far.

I imagine at this point BM is flipping and doesnt know what to do.

She will find something to try and make DH mad and upset as she always does but DH has figured out that the silent treatment works best and her anger will flare a bit and then she will calm down and it starts all over again!

Well we will have our trial date the first part of next week and I will let you know!

BTW this is our weekend and holiday with SS!! But we aren't getting our hopes up untill after he is in the car because she has a tendency to deny!!

Wish us luck for the weekend and up comming trial and please remember us in your prayers as well!!

[wendl]

Hope trial goes well and that you get ss this weekend.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Kitty C.]

Good luck this weekend, SM!  I've got tom. off........4 day weekend, woohoo!  If I get a chance, I'll try to give you a call....see if you were able to get SS.  All I can tell you is to take FULL advantage of their ignorance!  Both the BM's about everything and her atty.'s about her!

No word on the job.....YET.  The suspense is KILLING me!  But they do have my number and could call tomorrow....in that case, you WILL be getting a call, LOL!  ;-)

[Stepmom0418]

Thank you!

[Stepmom0418]

Kitty we have talked alot about what BM has been up to and I know you agree with us that we HAVE to do what is in SS's best interest.

I personally am scared to death of trial and court but if its for SS I know I can do it.

Well tonight is the night that will tell alot. We are to pick SS up at 8pm.....now lets hope she is there with SS so we can pick him up.


Wouldnt be the first time she denied and i am sure it wont be the last time either especially with her track record. But this time we arent going to play we will go to court for contempt and also ask that something be put in the order that law enforcement is to make her comply with the CO.

Good Luck with the JOB!! You are still in our prayers. Go ahead and give me a call this weekend I will be here except if we get SS I think we are going to go to the zoo on Sunday. (got 4 child passes given to me so gotta pay for me and Dh and the other child is young enough she gets in free so its a pretty cheap outing and something we all would enjoy.)

We though about going camping this weekend but changed our mind due to the trial we thought we better try to save some $$ because we dont really know what kind of expences we are going to have once this gets started.

[onedaddy]

Good luck to you!
We are in the same boat and our trial is set for 9/28.
We met with the forensics evaluator last night for the very last time.  It was our time to tell what we wanted him to hear.  I had compromised a 14 page chronolgy of the events that have taken place over the past year and a half along with hundreds of pages of back-up.  He has been unable to view it as of yet.  But I brought forth all the key points, to show the pattern of maliciousness by the BM.  We also got to play tapes of her and her husband threatening both the DH and myself in front of the children.  He could not believe the language, especially the every other F word. Hooray!  He was quite tired as it was late but I believe he got the gist, as at the end he kept telling us how she could keep up the fight if we win custody and she could does this if we win custody and when we win custody..... I hope that as good a sign as I think it is.

Anyway, please let me know how you present and word that law enforcement can take over for further contempt.  I would like to add this to our CO as well.

Again, Best of luck!

[Stepmom0418]

We dont actually have our trial date as of yet but DH attorney is going to call us by Wednesday of next week and let us know a date. I am at the point that I just want to get it over so hopefully our lives can get back to NORMAL.....what ever normal is? LOL!

So far we have been unable to get into any type of CO counseling. We have requested once but so far it hasnt been put in CO so there is nothing being done. I think it would be a good idea and I also think it could work in our favor.

Bm is the kind of person that she would go in and say, " This is MY son and I want BLAH, BLAH, BLAH and (my dh) DH is a worthless piece of sh**! He dont know my son and son is scared to death of him ect, ect, ect!

We figure she can say all she wants because she has no evidence and we have tons of evidence and documentation as well.

Even a certain school official will testify as to what life is like for SS, and what it will continue to be because "that is the way BM's whole family is"


Anyways if we end up going for contempt then I will be glad to post back and let you know  how we go about the wording to get the police to enfore our order

On one hand I hope that we get SS without any kind of DRAMA from BM and her family but I also know from the past issues that we will more than likely have to deal with her DRAMA once again!!!

Good Luck to you at trial and please post back and let me know how it goes!

[onedaddy]

DRAMA, we know it!  BM's entire family is SO dramatic.  Especially in court, if I wasn't involved I would get quite a laugh out of it.  One officee in the preicnct where we drop off the children even lost it once.  Hopefully, the judges and law guaridians, etc. notice the more dramatic usually means their full of it
BM like in your case has no proof, consistently makes allegations and we are forced to prove each and every one of them.  i.e., my husband is a drug addict, we immediately took a urine test followed by hair follicle tests, all negative!  We offered to pay for hers she refused had her lawyer do a dance and was only forced to take it some 5 months later, hmm!  
We are being scrutinized now because she says my DH is OCD becuase he is clean, and incapable of being a good father, we surrendered all his medical records, which say back in 2001 he was recently diagnosed with OCD, the problem is it was BM who diagnosed him and told him to say this, no doctor actually diagnosed him.  We have been in therapy for quite sometime now, this is the only psychologists who has seen him long enough to properly diagnose him and she states he cleans as a defense mechanism, I mean this guys a plumber for god sakes. And even so, OCD, who cares, their step-father is an ex-con who spent 5 years in State prison, 2 1/2 of those for beating up his pregnant ex-girlfriend, he has 26 arrests for violence, domestic mostly and patroninzing a prostitue near the home the children live.  He has no rights to either of the 2 kids he has by 2 different different woman, yet he has more rights to my DH's kids then he does.  And the courts want us to defend OCD.  The kids lie alot too, which manifests the problem. But the evaluator yesterday says he believes my DH is obsessive but not compulsive.  I said who wouldn't be crazy out of their mind with all this sh**.   I know I am.  He says its something he's born with and has to learn to deal with, blah, blah, blah. Well she malicious, narcisstic, shall I go on, at least where in therapy, is she.  She ven lies to the children's psychologist we took her to court to force her to take them to.
Maybe we could deal with things, if we had some control over our lies.  She has had my husband falsely arrested 2x, threaten s again and again to do it again and that is extremely frightening.
We are supposed to get the children for the day on Monday, well see what excuse we get.  It's one day, will make BM look worse in court, so I'm not gonna stress.
Hope you have little drama on this eve and a great holiday weekend!
I will surely keep everyone posted and please do the same.

[Stepmom0418]

WOW!! Reading your post is an exact copy of our lives here! Isnt it amazing! Your problems and ours are SO much alike its almost crazy!!

I will keep everyone updated as this hopefully moves on rather quickly!!

We hope and pray everyday for an outcome that is the best for SS!!

[Stepmom0418]

Well once again BM denied visitation! And once again on DH's holiday weekend!

BM called our home at a little after 3pm yesterday and left a message stating that if we dont meet her at the station in town XX on Friday and on Monday then SS would not be going for the visit and her attorney instructed her to do so.

The CO says DH is to pick up SS at HER residence on Friday at 8pm and BM is to pick up SS at DH residence on Sunday unless it is DH holiday and then it shall be on Monday at 8pm.

We sent a form, got it off of Sparc, at the first of the week  that outlined the visitation and the pick up drop off points as well as the time. We recieved no response to the letter. We followed the CO and she once again was trying to change the CO to her liking!

I returned her call and got hung up on by her family. She then called my friends cell phone and her and i were talking and she was trying to tell me that we HAVE to follow the mediation agreement and she was trying to tell me that it has been signed by a judge.

I told her that the agreement was not signed by a judge and that her and her attorney know that we are following the CO not the agreement!! BM's mother was on the phone and she was arguing with me as well. I told them to both hang on as i arrived at my DH place of employment and they could talk to him about it.

DH told her the same thing I did and it ended up that BM threatened him that she was filing charges on him and then she hung up on him!

We did get a complaint from the sherriffs office so i am sure that will help as well as the voice message from BM. (mentioned above) So know we wait till Tuesday so we can get something done but till then we sit here once again with no SS!!

[MYSONSDAD]

You are not alone. I did not get my son for the weekend.

It sucks!!

"Children learn what they live"

[onedaddy]

I'm sorry!

BM over here told SD to tell us she was not coming either this Monday, DH said to SD "but mommy wrote me a letter a while ago stating that you were going to be with daddy. Oh don't worry about it I'll take care of it another time.Okay, maybe I'll call my friend Janis (the GAL)". Well not even an hour later I got a call for the step-father stating they will be dropped off at 8:00PM on Sunday, hooray!  She is finally getting nervous of the upcoming custody fight.  A few months ago this would have never happened.

I wish you the best!  Things are sure to turn around!

[Stepmom0418]

Yes it does suck!! Especially when we had plans for the holiday weekend that involved SS as well as the other 4 kids. Since we didnt tell the other 4 kids about the plans, we are going to postpone our plans for another weekend because we just dont like doing alot of family outings with out him. It just dont seem fair!

[Stepmom0418]

It just seems so sad that BM can intefeer and cause so much pain to so many people including SS and my 4 children and DH too! (how can a BM HURT their own child?) I dont think I will ever know that answer!

I figured BM here would be getting nervous too but so far she is still ignoring the court order!


All of the kids involved are the ones who are getting hurt and she is the one doing the hurting!!

It makes me so sick to think that this woman can hurt MY 4 children and she can get away with it!!! (dh and i have 2 children together, we have 2 cbildren that we raise together with a little help from my exhusband, and then we have ss.) There seems to be little that we can do about the hurt except to try and explain and hope the kids understand that it isnt our fault and we are trying to make this as peaceful as we can! (as hard as it is)

As a mother I sure am finding it hard as hell not to go off on BM and give her a piece of my mind about the hurt she is causing all of the children including mine!!!!

I always thought that as a mother I was to teach and protect my children but here I am letting this woman hurt my kids and there is nothing I can do about it!! Unless I was to jeoperadize my DH's custody battle, and I would NEVER do that!!

Sorry I guess I got a little carried away but it sure is upsetting to me to know that she can hurt a bunch of innocent kids and she can get away with it!! (AND THEY ARENT EVEN HER OWN CHILDREN!! EXCEPT FOR SS BUT THE OTHER 4 ARENT!!)

JMO but I think it should be considered child abuse to do what this woman has done to her child and to mine!!

[onedaddy]

It is child abuse.  It is emotional abuse.  
I am terrified that my SS (5) and SD (7) are going to grow up to be very angry, very lonley adults.  They are told not to hug or kiss daddy, not to tell daddy they love him.  To cry and scream they don't want to come over, like they did this weekend.  My husband almost gave in this weekend, they love it here, they have friends and freedom.  How dare any mother do this to any child.
I always thought it was our job as parents and adults to protect  children.  But the courts won't allow this.  My husband is fighting with every ounce of his being to be part of his children's lives, to not have his custody taken away because he has "OCD", ridiculous?, YES! and even if this was true, which it is NOT,  SO WHAT!  
It is NOT okay that they are living with a convicted criminal who spent 2 1/2 years in prison for beating up a pregnant ex, 5 months for beating up another ex, 1 1/2 years for arson (BTW my husbands brand new truck was blown up last year).  He has threatened my husband on numerous occasions in front of the children, saying some sick things. He is currently on probation for patronizing a prostitute near the home he shares with the children.  He has had  numerous orders of protection from ex-wives, girlfriends and family members. He has 2 children by 2 woman he has no rights to, yet he has more rights over these children then their own father.
And my SD who missed some 25 fulls days and 20 half days of school last year.  My SS who at 5 is only first starting school tomorrow.  Who has a terrible stuttering problem, but has missed 21 sessions with the speech therapist since January.  
I'll tell you if I was being hurt or abused and noone protected me I'd be MAD.  
I'm sorry I tend to ramble too, because I'm so irate that the court system allows this b***sh**! to go on and on and on and on.  

[Stepmom0418]

I agree that it is B*** Sh** that the courts let this go on and on.

My DH has been fighting for his rights as well.

We just found out that BM moved and is living in a 2 bedroom trailer with
9 other people. One of those people is her mother and she just got out of drug rehab and still has pending drug chages and a probation violation for the new drug incident. (she was on probation for drugs as well)

We are living in a 4 bedroom home so there is plenty of room here for ss.

Also ss has missed over 70 days of school in the last 2 years. (he is a second grader this year.)


My 4 kids all added together didnt miss even a third of what ss has missed.

But the only thing I keep thinking is that she is hanging herself and builind DH's court case for him!!

HOPEFULLY THE COURT SYSTEM WILL DO THE RIGHT THING AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN SOON!!!


I wanted to ask what state you are in?

[onedaddy]

We are in New York.  The divorce and original custody took plac in New Jersey where BM was found in contempt 2x for numerous counts. Everyone live in NY now and so this is were the custoby is to take place.

I just can't believe what I just read.  We keep thinking the horror we and these children are going through is crazy, unusual and I here simialr even worse stories.  I tell you this world keeps getting scarier and scarier. You'd think I'd be immune to this by now.  Everyday on this site on here another story of who bad the childs home life is with the mother and it is the father who is being persecuted.  

I can't imagine that the BM in your case in not hanging herself, 70+ absenses, living in trailer with 9 people and drug addicts. What a nightmare. I truely feel for your SS, DH, yourself and the 4 children involved. IT IS TIME OUR COURT SYSTEM STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE TAKES SOME RESPONSIBILTY FOR THIS DEVASTATION TO OUR CHILDREN AND STOPS THIS ATROCITY. They need to look at each situation individually and not as a mother/father battle.

[LizaLou1]

I may have missed this somewhere, but what is the distance difference between the her house from where she asked to you to meet her, town xx?

If the difference is not too far I suggest you pick up the child in town xx BUT stay at home on Sunday and wait for her to pick up the child at your residence.  If she gets piss off, oh well, your just following the court order.  I would not broadcast this was your plan, just do it.  This way you get to see the child.  

Is there a real mediation "agreement" between her and your DH?  Agreement implies both parties "agree" to something and that it's better a deal than court order.  So why fight the "agreement" if you made.  I believe the court would expect you to follow it until it gets court approved.    If there is no "agreement" just some PROPOSED agreement, the court order is certainly the correct way to go.

My DH drives approx 350  miles to pickup his kids at the court ordered half-way point.  He's made the drip 2 times to only find his visitation denied.  The 350 mile return trip is more than depressing.  So, we know your dissappointment.

Best of luck,

LizaLou

[Stepmom0418]

There was an "agreement " but since that day BM has continued to make her own rules and we are in the process of asking the court to let us procede to trial. We are going to ask the court to waive the mediation agreement due to new information since the agreement was made and also due to BM not following what was agreed to anyways. The agreement has not been signed or ordered in anyway by a judge. The only thing that has been ordered by the judge is the Temporary Court Order which is what we are following.

I agree with you that next time I think our best bet is going to be to pick up SS whereever BM deecides that should take place. Then we can sit here and wait for her to pick him up on Sunday! That way we will get to see SS!!

The reasons we dont want the mediation order are because Bm and SS and her BF are living in a 2 bedroom trail with 6 other people. So there is 9 people living in a 2 bedroom trailer. Plus it would be in SS best interest to live with DH and I in our 4 bedroom home.

If you look back through all of my posts (not just this one) you would see where Dh is comming from in wanting to waive the mediation agreement. He is asking for physical custody of SS based on the above and also DHS reports, drugs, SS missed over 70 days of school in the last 2 years and several other reasons.

The mediation agreement wont work because BM seems to think that she can change it when ever she wants! If the judge in our case decides to make the agreement an order then we will follow it just as we have the temp order. (bm hasnt followed the temp order or the agreement from day one it had been an issue)

BM seems to think SS doesnt have the right to see any of his dads family or even his dad! It is sad that BM cant see that SS loves his dad and his brother and sisters too!

[Stepmom0418]

DH attorney called this morning and informed us that PBFH's attorney has once again left right in the middle of important issues and is unavailable for 1 1/2 weeks.

Well DH attorney is NOT waiting any longer! DH attorney is preparing a motion to waive the mediation agreement. He is also going to prepare the motion for CONTEMPT!!

Those of you that have been following my posts know that this has been a long time coming!!

DH has missed a total of 209.25 hours since April, plus 2 two week segments in the summer. Plus DH has provided almost all of the transportation when it is ordered to meet half way!! (neither one BM or DH have  a licence so this way it is fair to both) Dh attorney says he is tired of playing games with the PBFH's attorney and the way he likes to leave things hanging in the air.

So i meet with DH attorney at 1 pm tomorrow (to give him all the details of the contempt issues) and then Dh will meet with him to go over and sign the papers on Thursday. Then DH attorney will file all paperwork with court on Friday!!

PBFH seems to think that Dh is going to stand by and allow her to do what ever she wants!!! HAHA!!! WRONG!!! I am sure it will be a BIG surprise to her to find out that she is up on NUMEROUS contempt's!! (i am talking over 10 of them at this point!! And all have plenty of physical evidence to back them up too!!)

[onedaddy]

It seems to be time to put an end to all this nonsense.

Good luck!

[Stepmom0418]

Thank you!! I am so happy right now that I cant stop smiling!!

Hopefully the courts will see what she is doing and MAKE her stop!!!

[Stepmom0418]

DH and I just returned from attorney's office and there are,I think,11 counts of contempt that we are filing on. The attorney combined some of them together as one insead of 2 because they happened on the same weekend. But i still think that 11 is alot and I wouldnt want to be the one going in front of a judge with that many contempts and also a custody hearing pending!!

Also a new petition as we already filed the ammendment.

The new petition tells what Dh wants,which is physical custody, with standard visitation to BM.

Which would be exact opposite to what there is now.

I will update in the morning as soon as I know when the hearing is.

Thanks to all for the help and advise as well as the prayers and thoughts. Please continue to pray for Dh and SS as this process continues!!!