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Just got a "good" settlement offer

Started by crayiii, Jun 01, 2005, 06:14:23 PM

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crayiii

Please let me know what you think about this offer I just got on the Fax after talking with my wife's attorney.

My time with our son:

June 3-5
June 25-July2
July 16-23
August 13-20
September 2-5
October 14-16
November 23-27
December 16-23
January 13-16
February 17-20
March 3-5
March 31-April 9
May 26-29

Transportation will be that I pick him up in Portland (4.5 hour drive for me)

Additionally, if I pay the transportation costs I can have one extra weekend per month.

These is a temp plan offer and I told him that I would do it.

What are your thoughts on this?


MixedBag

It doesn't include Christmas -- be careful.

When are start and stop times?

And what about when the child gets older and in school?

Haven't followed your situation -- temp orders have a tendency to become permanent.

So -- having this defined by the calendar really messes it up down the road.  Why?  because Jun 3-5 isn't always gonna fall on a weekend.

crayiii

This is what it would look like for the upcoming months.  It is written in the order as every 3 or 4 day weekend each month unless there isn't one in which case it is my choice.


Holiday's are odd/even.

socrateaser

I can't comment on the settlement unless I know exactly what it is...and btw, you should NEVER settle on one part of a divorce agreement. You must have the entire deal in front of you, i.e.:

Child Support
Custody
Spousal Support
Property Division
Attorney Fees

If you don't, and you sign up for one part at a time, you will concede to something in each and by the time you're done, your opponent will spring the trap, and you'll have no leverage at all.

crayiii

I submitted a proposed temporary parenting plan and they made changes and sent it back.  It says proposed temporary parenting plan on it and not final or anything.

He told me on the phone that since we currently have an administrative order for CS that they would leave that alone.  He also said that they weren't going to be asking for attorney fees or support.  

He said that he thinks it's best to back away from all the legal stuff, get a set parenting plan in place and live with it until my wife and I feel like we can work on a permanent order.

He also said that if I agree to 100% travel costs they would give me a $800 per month credit on CS and that since my CS is only $500 I may end up not owing anything if the court agrees.

Am I being naive?  

lovebug

Be careful.

I would never agree to take a credit toward child support. It could come back to bite you in the long run. See about your soon-to-be ex paying you a set amount to offset your travel expenses. Maybe 50% of your expected gas/airfair/busfair whatever. You continue to pay the ordered child support. Meaning she pays you and you pay her. No credit is acceptable.

Also, if you agree to to 100% transportation (with the offset of $800) and your wife losses her job or decides that she doesn't want to work anymore she could go to the judge and say "I cannot afford to pay for travel because I have no job, and I need dad to pay child support, or I'm gonna have to go on welfare". The judge  feels sorry for her (whihc he probably would) and agrees and because you have already been providing 100% transportation you have shown that you are willing and able to do so. "So sorry for you", the judge will say, " but Mom has a kid to take care of. Now, pay up."  

It's not fair. You should always remember that her lawyer has no interst in helping you. He sounds like he has an interest in helping himself off this case.


Goos luck! At least it sounds like you might be getting somewhere.

~D~

socrateaser

>I submitted a proposed temporary parenting plan and they made
>changes and sent it back.  It says proposed temporary
>parenting plan on it and not final or anything.
>
>He told me on the phone that since we currently have an
>administrative order for CS that they would leave that alone.
>He also said that they weren't going to be asking for attorney
>fees or support.  
>
>He said that he thinks it's best to back away from all the
>legal stuff, get a set parenting plan in place and live with
>it until my wife and I feel like we can work on a permanent
>order.
>
>He also said that if I agree to 100% travel costs they would
>give me a $800 per month credit on CS and that since my CS is
>only $500 I may end up not owing anything if the court
>agrees.
>
>Am I being naive?  

There's no point in trying to second guess. Write him back and state that you will agree to stipulate to the temporary plan, and to continue the June 3 hearing, if your ex will move to dismiss the TRO, and stipulate to modify child support to include $800 per month in transportation costs.

Transportation costs, are "in the nature of support," not custody, so when he says that they don't want to touch the existing order, that's nonsense. The support order must be modified to take into account transportation costs, otherwise, you will be relying on your ex to pay you $800 per month, as some sort of contractual agreement that will be very difficult to enforce.

See how he responds. I'll wager that he will not agree to do anything but the parenting plan. If so, then you're being suckered with promises that will never be fullfilled.

crayiii

They agreed to the dismissal of the TRO and the $800 credit was something that I brought up as a potential option and he agreed that they would do it.  We decided against it and the travel is currently written up that mom will purchase the round trip tickets from Spokane to Portland and I am responsible for picking our son up and dropping him off at the Portland airport.

He told me that they would still include both mine and my wife's transportation costs in the CS order.


Fobbed-Fodder

Crayiii,

Please don't take this wrong, but it is my sincere opinion that the minuscule amount of time that they offered you to be with your 6 year old son sucks.

In my "temporary" orders I was given, by the Commissioner, the 2nd, 3rd & 4th weekend of every month from 5:00 pm Friday until 8:00 am Monday.

And;

Tuesday at 8:00 am until Thursday at 8:00 am following the 5th and 1st weekends of every month.

And;

Every Wednesday from 4:00 pm until 7:00 pm.

And Regarding Holidays;


"Friday and Monday Holidays shall attach to the adjoining weekend of the parent exercising parenting time"

You should not accept that residential schedule, you can, and should get more time with your son, you don't even have every other weekend, think about it!

And as far as the transportation B.S., Soc is right on the mark, it has to be in the Order of Child Support or DCS will not credit a thing.

The thing to remember about a Temporary Parenting Plan is that it should not be an EYE POPER for the Judge to read, and it should state the exact times for exchanges of the child between parents.

I learned a few tricks on how to make the residential schedule section easy for the Judge to read, see below for an example.

3.2   SCHOOL SCHEDULE.

Upon enrollment in school, the child shall reside with the [X] mother, the following days and times the child will reside with or be with the father:

[X]    Friday at 4:00 pm to Monday at 8:00 am
    the 2nd, 3rd, 4th weekends of the month.
   
[X]    Tuesday at 8:00 am to Thursday at 8:00 am
    following the 1st and 5th weekends of the month.

This will give you 11 overnights a month with holidays being a bonus extra, 12 or 13.  If you can swing Wednesdays then go for that also.

Go for it!


crayiii

I live over 500 miles away.

Dang, I REALLY want to see my son.  He called yesterday (first time I've spoken to him since Feb.) and told me how much he misses me and wants to see me.  I haven't seen him since last July.


Fobbed-Fodder

If you ask the court for a lot of time now, temporary orders, they will more than likely give you less than you ask for, but more than what was offered.  

Once you have a parenting plan with meaningful parenting time, you will find a way to exercise it, I have completely re-written my life to be with my son and it is well worth it.

socrateaser

I wonder where all this money for air fare is coming from? Regardless, flying will certainly be the superior solution as long as you can both manage the cost.

crayiii

Mr. Attorney,

As we discussed last night, I am in acceptance of your proposed temporary residential schedule and temporary transportation arrangements detailed in your June 1, 2005 letter.

I will stipulate to the residential schedule and transportation arrangements in a TEMPORARY PARENTING PLAN.  All other sections of the Temporary Parenting Plan shall either be "parent neutral" (i.e. Joint decision making, frequent communication, etc.) or shall state "Reserved for evaluator recommendations".

Regarding transportation. I would request that your client purchase  round trip tickets that will place our son in Portland before 6:00pm on the day of arrival and will depart for Spokane after 6:00pm on the day of departure.

Once I receive a copy of the Temporary Parenting Plan with our stipulated conditions, I will request a continuance of our June 3, 2005 hearing.

----Her attorney told me that her boyfriend (fiance) agreed to pay the airfare to Portland.  I will either drive to Portland, take the train, or if possible, fly and stay the weekends in Portland.


socrateaser

edited below...

>Mr. Attorney,
>
>I am in receipt of your
>proposed temporary residential schedule and temporary
>transportation arrangements detailed in your June 1, 2005
>letter.
>
>I will agree to stipulate to the residential schedule and
>transportation arrangements as a temporary parenting plan.
>I propose that all other sections of the Temporary Parenting Plan should
>either be "parent neutral" (i.e. Joint decision making,
>frequent communication, etc.) or should state "Reserved for
>evaluator recommendations".
>
>Regarding transportation, I  request that Ms. X
>purchase round trip tickets so that our son's arrivals in
>Portland will occur before 6:00pm and so that departures for Spokane will occur after 6:00pm.
>
>As soon as I receive a Temporary Parenting Plan that reasonably comports with the above suggestions, I will sign and notarize and overnight back to you for entry by the court. I will also contact the court and ask that tomorrow's hearing be continued.

I also expect that Ms. X will immediately move to dismiss the TRO against me. It's not fair that I should have that hanging over my head. If she wants some protection to keep me away from her new relationship, then I'll be happy to stipulate to a "no contact" order.

Sincerely,

>----Her attorney told me that her boyfriend (fiance) agreed to
>pay the airfare to Portland.  I will either drive to Portland,
>take the train, or if possible, fly and stay the weekends in
>Portland.

The bf has some bucks.

crayiii

>The bf has some bucks.


He does and according to the ATT, attends every meeting and does all the talking.  I made the comment to the attorney that my wife's declarations seemed to be written in the third person and sometimes referred to her BF as "I", he said "Hmm, weird"

I feel a big push to finalize the dissolution and met with a ton of resistance asking for temp orders instead of permanent ones.  Is there anything I need to watch out for now that we are going to have temp orders in place?

jilly

Father's Day?  It's the weekend of June 17 - June 19.  I would think you'd most definitely want to spend time with your son that weekend!

socrateaser

>I feel a big push to finalize the dissolution and met with a
>ton of resistance asking for temp orders instead of permanent
>ones.  Is there anything I need to watch out for now that we
>are going to have temp orders in place?

It would be great to have permanent orders now. All you need to do is get all the issues put away. If the attorney and your spouse want that, there's no reason not to plow ahead, only don't sign up for any one part of the deal on a final basis. You don't stipulate to a partial judgment -- it's the whole thing or it's just temporary -- one or the other.

crayiii

I have a new TRO that lists both myself and my wife as the protected parties.  All it says is that we are both restrained and enjoined from molesting or disturbing the peace of the other party.  It then states that any previous restraints ordered by the Court are terminated and replaced by the provisions of this order.

The temp. relief section of the TRO states that a GAL will be assigned at a future date with the costs being divided.

On the Temp Parenting plan everything except the schedule and transportation sections just say "reserved"  All decision making is reserved, etc.

How does this sound?


socrateaser

>How does this sound?

TRO stuff sounds good. Not sure about the "reserved" language. All that means is that it's left to the judge to decide at a later date. So, since I can't see the doc at this moment, I'm curious about what exactly is reserved. Hard to comment further.

crayiii

He just took this form:  http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/pdf/DR1_0400.pdf

Deleted all the information below each heading and typed in "Reserved"

He then included under the schedule, the dates that I will have our son.  He added telephone contact times for me, explicit statements allowing me to have access to all of the childs records, and that neither parent is to do "bad" stuff.

He also added the allowances for me to request one extra weekend per month as long as I transport.

socrateaser

>He just took this form:
>http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/pdf/DR1_0400.pdf
>
>Deleted all the information below each heading and typed in
>"Reserved"
>
>He then included under the schedule, the dates that I will
>have our son.  He added telephone contact times for me,
>explicit statements allowing me to have access to all of the
>childs records, and that neither parent is to do "bad" stuff.
>
>He also added the allowances for me to request one extra
>weekend per month as long as I transport.

Seems ok to me, as long you're satisfied with everything else we've discussed prior.