My wife and I split two years ago. It wasn't pretty and I admit I pulled out all the stops to make things very hard for her. Stopped paying bills for the house so we were forced to sell, didn't pay
child support because I wasn't "ordered" to, the works. Everything I was advised to do. (I can't remember what my screen name was on here back then, sorry!) Pretty much put her in the poverty position to where she had to fire her attorney and get a state one.
I wanted out, I wanted everything and I was on a mission. I had met someone else and wanted to get our life together going. Which I did. I remarried the day my divorce was final, the custody of our child was still in question.
When it came to custody, my new wife fully expected my ex wife to get custody & me visitation. She pretty much stayed out of the proceedings and when I came home telling her my 4 year old daughter would be coming to live with us full time she wasn't happy to say the least. Her exact words were "how the hell did that happen?".
My new wife has a 16 year old daughter and apparently was looking forward to having her freedom back in two years. The father of her child hasn't been around since my
SD was about 2. My new wife and I were not planning on having any children together, she had her tubes tied a few years ago. She expected that "life" to include me. Travel, etc.
Now my ex wife wasn't a bad mother, but I was just found to be in a better position to raise my daughter. Granted, in hindsight, and talking with my current wife, I put her in the position to struggle with how ugly our divorce was.
My new wife resents me for how I treated my ex now that the whole story has come out. She refuses to help with my daughter. Says your kid your problem and goes on her way. I fought for my daughter fully expecting my new wife to take on the step-mom role. She is a mom already, I thought maternal instincts were maternal instincts, no matter who the kid was. Was I wrong for that assumption?
My new wife will go out with her daughter and leave mine at home with my, my little girl doesn't understand why and cries. I can't think of anything my daughter DOESN'T cry about these days. After a long day of work, the last thing I feel like doing is sitting on the floor and coloring, so what does she do? Cries. Even if I offer to read her a book later when I've rested a bit, here come the waterworks.
My new wife goes out with her friends, and since I can't find care for my daughter, I'm left home. I'm worried she is going to cheat on me and leave me.
I don't want to be a "single dad". I feel kids need a mother, be it biological or step, ESPECIALLY a little girl. If my kid were a boy then maybe I'd understand him a little better but my daughter? She's gone from the cute little baby I knew to an alien!
I guess what I want to know is, after everything, how awful of me would it be to go to my ex and tell her she can have our daughter back? I don't want to admit I was wrong because I'll never hear the end of it, but I just can't do this myself. Without support of my new wife, this is just too much. How do I do this without looking like the biggest schmuck on the planet?
Am I striking a huge blow to father's rights?