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Author Topic: 10 yr old wants to live with me  (Read 1158 times)

3LittleBirds

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10 yr old wants to live with me
« on: Oct 16, 2005, 08:07:26 AM »
Soc:
I posted a few days ago about not having any court ordered custody agreement or written agreement w/ my XW for my 2 kids.

A little of the backstory:
I've been sober for over 4 yrs; my fiance doesn't drink. My XW is now engaged and living w/ someone who was sober for about 5 yrs, but who has been drinking and using again for the last 3 years (since they've been together). My XW always drank, but always drank more when I was drinking.

I've had the 10 yr old EOW. Last night, I asked 10 yr old what she and her Mom and BF do at night, on weekends, etc. . . - just making conversation. She starts crying saying all her Mom and BF ever do is drink, go out, and fight. When they are home, they ignore her - Mom's on the computer and BF is watching TV, so she's in her room doing homework or reading a book. Mom or BF may fix dinner 2 or 3 nights a week; otherwise, she fixes herself a Hot Pocket for dinner.

She said she wants to come live with us because she can't take their drinking, fighting, going out, etc... She is very upset about the way she lives.

Here, we have dinner as a family and my fiance and I do not go out. I go to a couple of AA meetings a week and have a Board meeting once a month; my fiance never goes out at night. We may go out to dinner twice a year. We don't do anything spectacular with the 10 yr old - excitement consists of making a cake or all of us eating sherbert out of the container.

She has very valid reasons for wanting to live with us; and I hate the thought of her being subjected to that horrible environment. The 14 yr old will not want to come here because she doesn't have rules at her Mom's but here she will. The 10yr old knows about the rules, how strict we are, and she still wants to be with us.

She's afraid to tell her Mom that she wants to live here - and w/ good reason. She will NOT react well to this, so I don't think calling Mom and saying "10yr old wants to live with me" would do anything but make her verbally attack 10yr old.

I have to take her back home tonight and I get her again next Friday. What's the quickest legal way to get her out of that environment? Or do I not have a snowball's chance in @#$$ of getting custody?

Thanks


socrateaser

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RE: 10 yr old wants to live with me
« Reply #1 on: Oct 16, 2005, 11:49:29 AM »
>Soc:
>I posted a few days ago about not having any court ordered
>custody agreement or written agreement w/ my XW for my 2
>kids.
>
>A little of the backstory:
>I've been sober for over 4 yrs; my fiance doesn't drink. My XW
>is now engaged and living w/ someone who was sober for about 5
>yrs, but who has been drinking and using again for the last 3
>years (since they've been together). My XW always drank, but
>always drank more when I was drinking.
>
>I've had the 10 yr old EOW. Last night, I asked 10 yr old what
>she and her Mom and BF do at night, on weekends, etc. . . -
>just making conversation. She starts crying saying all her Mom
>and BF ever do is drink, go out, and fight. When they are
>home, they ignore her - Mom's on the computer and BF is
>watching TV, so she's in her room doing homework or reading a
>book. Mom or BF may fix dinner 2 or 3 nights a week;
>otherwise, she fixes herself a Hot Pocket for dinner.
>
>She said she wants to come live with us because she can't take
>their drinking, fighting, going out, etc... She is very upset
>about the way she lives.
>
>Here, we have dinner as a family and my fiance and I do not go
>out. I go to a couple of AA meetings a week and have a Board
>meeting once a month; my fiance never goes out at night. We
>may go out to dinner twice a year. We don't do anything
>spectacular with the 10 yr old - excitement consists of making
>a cake or all of us eating sherbert out of the container.
>
>She has very valid reasons for wanting to live with us; and I
>hate the thought of her being subjected to that horrible
>environment. The 14 yr old will not want to come here because
>she doesn't have rules at her Mom's but here she will. The
>10yr old knows about the rules, how strict we are, and she
>still wants to be with us.
>
>She's afraid to tell her Mom that she wants to live here - and
>w/ good reason. She will NOT react well to this, so I don't
>think calling Mom and saying "10yr old wants to live with me"
>would do anything but make her verbally attack 10yr old.
>
>I have to take her back home tonight and I get her again next
>Friday. What's the quickest legal way to get her out of that
>environment? Or do I not have a snowball's chance in @#$$ of
>getting custody?

Does the mother or fiance' drink and drive with the child in the car? If so, then you can get a TRO for emergency sole custody, on grounds that the child is in danger of physical injury -- especially if the child will testify in court to this behavior as routine. That would be the fastest way, because you could do it tomorrow morning.

 

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