settlement conference CA

[mishelle2]

can anyone tell me what to expect at a settlement conference?

[HelpingHands]

Both parties will present 'their best offer' at that time. So have your parenting plans ready, your visitation schedule spelled out, etc and back up plans to the items you know the other party will not agree to. Then you will basically argue your points with the other parent and visa versa until you both come to an agreement/settlement.

Usually the attorneys will tell you what you should ask for during the settlement conference and what your chances of getting more than the other party is agreeing to at that time, IF it goes to trial. It's your option to move forward with your action or settle with the other parent. Once you settle and the attorneys and parents sign off on the settlement agreement, they will bring it before the judge to have it entered as ordered.

[Jade]

>can anyone tell me what to expect at a settlement
>conference?

Depends on what type of settlement conference.  My ex and I had a 4-way with our attorneys.  We reached a clear agreement.  My ex reneged.

My attorney scheduled a settlement conference with the judge.  The only people allowed in the judge's chambers were our attorneys.  My ex and I had to wait outside.   Did it help settle?  That all depends on the parties involved.  

Your lawyer should be able to tell you exactly what to expect.  

[mishelle2]

ok..?  dh has been going through custody/visitation issues for years.. seriously years.. well this time bm is the one who took him back to court cause she wants him to have less time.. but what I found strange was that at the last appearance our atty said plan on going to a hearing (which we were planning, and had done before) then bms attorney stood up and said I would like to schedule a settlement conference, no we all know his client has NO intention of settling, I am wondering if after he read the mediators summary that he is going to try to get bm to settle, summary said that the court cautions mother about allowing her father to make racial remarks about son... I am just confused as to why the attorney who doesnt want to give up time would ask for the settlement conference..

[notnew]

Whatever happens at settlement, your DH should NOT agree to less time with the child period.

He should come with his proposal in hand which is to either keep what is currently ordered in place, or increase his time with the child.

What in the world was her basis for reducing the time anyway? For any changes, there has to be a major change in circumstances. I am shocked this even made it to a hearing.

The mediator WAS supposed to aid in reaching a settlement.

If no settlement is reached, then it will proceed to trial. Based on your postings, I think your DH should be prepared to carry it to trial. She is most likely not going to budge on what she wants, but it is worth a try in the settlement conference.

Good grief. I am suprised that DH lawyer did not object to the motion by opposing counsel.

He should NEVER give away any time unless the COURT takes it away and that should be only after he has fought it using every possible argument possible.

What a witch BM is being.

I hope things work out for the best.

[mishelle2]

YES.. THIS HAS BEEN AN ONGOING UPHILL BATTLE.. DH DIDNT EVEN FIND OUT HE HAD A CHILD WITH HER UNTIL HE WAS 2 1/2 AND WASNT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM UNTIL HE WAS 5 1/2.. WE HAVE BEEN TO COURT MANY TIMES, IN THE COUNTY WE LIVE IN YOU  DONT NEED TO SHOW A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE..YOU JUST HAVE TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A HEARING BEFORE AND WE ARE PREPARED TO GO AGAIN, LAST TIME WE ASKED FOR 50/50 AND THE JUDGE INTERVIEWED SS WHICH IS WHERE EVERYTHING WENT WRONG.. BM AND HER PARENTS DID A NUMBER ON HIM AND HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH DAD  MORE.. THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO.
BM IS ASKING THAT THE JUDGE INTERVIEW SS AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH WE HAD HIS COUNSELOR WRITE A REPORT JUST THIS WEEK, SAYING HE WANTS TO SEE DAD MORE.

THE REALITY IS, BM'S FATHER IS A RACIST, I HATE TO SAY THAT.. BUT HE MAKES RACIAL REMARKS TO SS ABOUT DAD OFTEN AND HAS CALLED DH A "N" IN THE PAST.  SS'S EXTENDED FAMILY DENIES THAT HE IS 1/2 BLACK. SO....IF WE GO TO A HEARING.. ITS ALL COMING OUT.. THE GRANDPA IS EXTREMLY NEGATIVE AND WONT KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT!!

WELL HE GOES TO THE SETTLEMENT CON. AT 130 SO SAY A QUICK PRAYER..

AND DONT WORRY.. HE WONT AGREE TO LESS THAN HE HAS ..HES ASKING FOR 50/50 AND WILL MAKE HER FIGHT TO PROVE HE SHOULDNT HAVE IT.

[notnew]

I SEE YOU ARE VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS!!! LOL - You know caps is shouting.

When  you go to trial, you need to have the counselor available to testify. I am not sure the written document will suffice since opposing counsel can't question it or the counselor. The court may not allow it as evidence. The counselor in person would be better.

make sure if you bring the counselor in,the child's right to psychological privledge has been waived!!!

Good luck!

[mishelle2]

I realized I was shouting.. after I hit post..lol

The counselors report was ordered by the court, therefore it is allowed.. but we will definetly call the counselor as a witness, as she will have I believe to be the deciding testimony..

But we have others in mind to call too....

In my opinion and I realize I am bias, this case is baffling, my dh .. doesnt even have as much as a parking ticket, yet this has been such an uphill battle, some courts and judges are bias to one side or the other, and this time it has been for the other, our atty.. who is known to be the best in town says this is one case he looses sleep over cause he has gotten people with criminal pasts more than he can get my dh and it drives him nuts.. so he said we are pulling out all the stops this time.. (hes a really good attorney.. a straight shooter and doesnt run through your bank account just cause he can)

So wish us luck... my dh is there right now.. we'll see what happens.. hopefully all tides will turn to our side..
Im praying...

[notnew]

I'm praying too. Let us know what happens.

[mishelle2]

ok, well ... the judge wants to interview ss on monday, which in my thought process means were screwed.. mom has him this weekend and they will have worked him over the coals so much by monday that he will say whatever they want him to say. Which is what happened last time..... hopefully he'll be soooo coached that the judge says.. well wasnt hat obvious..

Ill worry all weekend.. put your faith in the system.. and for us.. it has failed.. and rewarded a woman for not telling a man about his child,. sad,,extremely sad