It is not his fault. I need help, I am alone on this.

[FindingDylan]

It is going to be a little to long to read my statement, but if you really want to help me with any ideas I will really appreciate it, because I want to find my son Dylan and I am alone on this task, any help would be much to me.
I am from Ecuador, and I have been in USA for many years now. I obtained my legal status by marriage with an American Citizen. She is from New York and I was living there with her and my son until august 2003. After my son was born the marriage took a fatal turn and we could not recuperate from it. The biggest problem, she was extremely irresponsible, that would be a complete different story. We agreed to separate and move to Florida together, actually it was her idea and she wanted to take my son with her; after many arguments we agreed that it will be better if I move first and prepare the terrain for her, of course we were not going to live together again. So I quit my job and I move to Florida in September 2003. We had no friends or anything in Florida, so it was going to be very hard even for a man alone, that is why I preferred to move first and leave my son in an apartment and not wondering in a place that no one new. I had phone contact with my son until November 2003, month in which the lease expired and the last thing that I heard from her was "We are moving to Florida in a couple of days, we will call you". Since then I have not heard anything. I have called her step mother, she claims to know nothing. I called the day care center; she removed my son from it without any previous notice. She is a waitress and she is not working in the last place that I knew of. Murphy's Law, I could not find a good job, my financial situation is very bad and since I left New York my credit got damaged. I have been looking for help everywhere with no luck. I was planning to move back to New York and find my son, and then I got a good job. I have not started it yet, but I will soon. I have spoken to a few lawyers, the cheapest one 3000 to start a custody process. We are still married. To add a bit more spice to the situation my name does not show up in my son's birth certificate, but he has my last name, and YES he IS mine. Now I got the job and my finances will get better.
If you get to this point, thank you very much for your interest.
Now, what should I do? I am an immigrant, I am in a different state, I am a man and my finances are not good. I thought for a second to turn my back and say the hell with it, but IT IS NOT HIS FAULT, and he needs a father, and I will do everything for my son. Please any ideas or advice will be very welcome.. Thanks a lot to everyone in advice.

[luckystepmother]

Maybe you could start with a private investigator first? It may be less expensive to go that route first in order to find her. Once you find out where she and your son is, then you can figure out what your legal rights are. If her financial situation is not much better than yours then maybe if she sees that you have started the process then she'll do the right thing and not push it as far as a full blown court issue. Plus, if she is doing anything that could be viewed as wrong (cheating, partying, etc.) the private investigator can gather the evidence for you so you have a bargining chip if this does turn into a court matter.

Good luck, don't give up...

[MYSONSDAD]

The PI is a very good idea. I would also start compiling a list of all her family and friends, along with addresses. Someone knows where she is. Have you tried to track her thru a Social Security number? Check her last address and see if she left a forwarding address. She might just try to contact you when she runs of of money. Document everything. Sparc has a free time tracker that will help you get started. There is also the Optimal Time Tracker. You can find it at Parenting Time. Net.

I would also start interviewing attorneys to handle the case. Sounds like your in for rough ride. Start reading all the articles on this sight. Come back often. We have all had our share headaches and can give you more suggestions to help.

"Children learn what they live"