I do not know what to do

[kr_killpack]

I am a 39 old man and I am looking at another split up with my wife.
The woman was unfaithful to me she has been verbally abusive to me the entire nine years that we have been married. She has kindled a friendship with her ex husband of which she had two children. He hit he all the time and had many out side realtionships. Plus he has costed her thousands of dollars in court fees. Why would she even want to be around that man.
This is my problem she is verbly abusive name calling and the such to all the children in the house. We have a six year old daughter between us. My main fear is that we will split up and she will take that realtionship further. I do not under any circumstances want my daughter to live with tha man. So I am inbetween a rock and a hard spot here what am supposed to leave and leave my daughter with her mother and have her exposed to a volitile situation or stay and try to convice my spouse that she should give me kylie. Because I believe that I would be a far better parent. Any word of advice or encouragment would be great

[reagantrooper]

You need to EDUCATE yourself on these matters!! You need to start planning now. You need to stay in the home and not leave. Dont let her know what you are planning. Dont fight with her at all about anything. If she wants to go out let her go and document it.

[kr_killpack]

Thanks
I appreciate it I have contacted a lawyer am thinking very seriously about leaving her I am going to strart documenting everything she does and how neglectful she is of her family so that i can gain custody of my daughter

[janM]

please read the articles here, especially First Aid.

If you leave the child with her, she will likely stay there because the judge will figure you didn't see any danger in that and the status quo will be set.

Get any court/police records on this guy.

Did I mention to read the articles here?  :) Good luck.

[janM]

..

[awakenlynn]

Take a camcorder with you and set one inside the house.  That way you have proof of her behavior inside the house.  Don't provoke her since the courts will see it and throw it out and your case too.  

Keep one with you or a voice activated cassette recorder(check your local laws), if you run into him, you will have it recorded.  Pull his records, pull any police records that mention him.  Try and get your wife to talk about the relationship.  If she does and its on tape, she is admitting how bad the treatment was.  If she goes back to him, it could show her to be an unfit parent.

[smtotwo]

//www.rcfp.org/taping

record all conversations with your ex and with her ex if your state is a one party state.

If not then you must either inform them that you will be recording or they will be inadmissable in court.  BUT if you dont inform them and record anyway, you may be able to get a GAL to listen to them.  

[awakenlynn]

Does that apply to if you are in public or within your own home?

lynn

[VeronicaGia]

You say she told you he was abusive towards her, yet she is being abusive towards you.  Are you sure of who was the abuser in their relationship?

You need to be prepared.  She sounds ready to start a fight with you and then call the police playing the victim.  If you leave, take the child with you and file for custody immediately. You may want to consider filing for divorce and custody anyway, right away.

don't give her a reason to call the police.