Not sure what to do

[JTD]

I am new here and looking for some ideas.  I have an 8 year old daughter who I visit often.  We have had all of the problems that most do.  I have been denied visitation on several occassions, had family members accused of doing things to my daugher, etc.   I am now to the point where I am needing to make some serious changes.  Since our divorce almost 8 years ago, my ex-wife has had a problem staying in one relationship and in one location.  Dating is fine and really not always my business but the problem is that she moves these guys into her home with my child after only a few weeks.  She was married to her last husband for a little over a year but she and the kids moved in with this new man after her 2nd date.  Since their divorce, my daughter has had some problems.  She has been asked to lie to the new ex-husband about the new boyfriend and lie to both of them about the new live in boyfriend.  And the fun part is they have to call him Dad.  What a mess.  She tells me that her mother lies all of the time about guys and about her.  She cries and asks not to go back.  

My daughter has 2 brothers that live with her.  It has been noticed by many that they are treated much better than my daughter.  I was informed that one of her brothers had all of his school supplies last year where as my daughter didn't have any.  They are better groomed and seem to receive quite a bit of attention.  I have my daughter for the summer this year as her mother had plans of her own or this is what I was told when she called me to pick her up from my Mother's home after leaving her off there.  This is very unusual as she doen't like for me to have her any extra time.  This summer has been an eye opener.  My daugher is very concerned about things being fair - down the the crackers.  She will go as far and running from the other room saying "what about me" before she knows whats going on.    

She asked about a local water park.  She informed me that her family has passes to the park.  I asked her what her favorite ride was.  She didn't want to talk about it anymore.  I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she is not allowed to go because she comes to my house.  She is scolded for wanting to come to my home.  I just don't know what to do.

I feel bad that this goes on but I don't know what I can do.  I have tried gaining custody about 5 years ago.  I was told she does just enough to keep the child.  I ended up with the arrangement we have now which is a joke.   She has asked me all summer long if she can stay with me a visit her Mom on the weekends.  She talks to my other children about going to school with them.  She refuses to talk about going home.  She doesn't know that they have once again moved this summer - 80 miles away with the new boyfriend's family.  I need some help.

[TGB]

See "Tips for Getting Started" at http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm .

[Lawmoe]

The poster who said Document is correct.  Your case is weak for a change of custody at this time.  It is based entirely on hearsay.  Look for outward signs of distress --falling grades, behavior problems with the child and then sugest a counselor. that counselor can verify some of the issues and may give you some information to act.

[JTD]

My daugher has poor grades and attendence in school.  This is another problem.  My ex would send her to my Mother's for 3-4 school days when her and her ex would fight.  This happened 2-3 times last school year.  Then there were the times that my ex gave the kids options of going to school or not.  I did get this information from the school.