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#61
Father's Issues / Re: Travelling outside the cou...
Last post by ocean - Sep 11, 2019, 02:58:55 PMHi,You would have to ask for a change in visitation to include a specific vacation. Something like: "father would like to bring child on vacation to xxx for xx days next summer. He is willing to give the mother/courts full itenrary with flight information, daily access to child by phone/facetime. This would be in the best interests of child to see father's family. Mother will give father passport for this trip.
Not sure if you will win this but you can file yourself usually without court fees at the family court where your papers were filed the very first time. Good luck!
Not sure if you will win this but you can file yourself usually without court fees at the family court where your papers were filed the very first time. Good luck!
#62
Father's Issues / Travelling outside the country...
Last post by alexmat1 - Sep 11, 2019, 01:27:10 PMHello all,
I am a Father who has minor custody (on weekends) with the mother sharing the major part of the custody. I am not a US Citizen and is a Resident now. Mother is a US citizen. All my family lives in another country and I would like to take my child on a vacation outside of the US to this country. To all those who been through this, this country is a non Hague country. Mother refuses to let me travel with the child citing that I wont come back or I might kidnap the child although I have cooperated respectfully with the custody rules so far. Child is 5 years old.
Has anyone been in such situation, were you able to achieve this through the courts ? Are courts sympathetic to Fathers need to take an international vacation with the child. Are there any bonds I can execute to proove to the court that I will come back ?
Thanks
Alex
I am a Father who has minor custody (on weekends) with the mother sharing the major part of the custody. I am not a US Citizen and is a Resident now. Mother is a US citizen. All my family lives in another country and I would like to take my child on a vacation outside of the US to this country. To all those who been through this, this country is a non Hague country. Mother refuses to let me travel with the child citing that I wont come back or I might kidnap the child although I have cooperated respectfully with the custody rules so far. Child is 5 years old.
Has anyone been in such situation, were you able to achieve this through the courts ? Are courts sympathetic to Fathers need to take an international vacation with the child. Are there any bonds I can execute to proove to the court that I will come back ?
Thanks
Alex
#63
Custody Issues / Re: Hi all! I'm grandparent se...
Last post by ocean - Jul 05, 2019, 07:28:28 AMDid father serve you custody papers? If this hearing is for your child support, then that is what the judge will want to hear and not deal with custody until papers are in front of him. Does dad have/take any visitation now?
#64
Custody Issues / Re: Hi all! I'm grandparent se...
Last post by paternalgma - Jul 04, 2019, 02:54:25 PMThe child is now 8. Father now claiming he wants custody, but really doesn't wish to pay CS. I have an order for CS against biomom for $199 monthly as of Jan 2019.
Thanks for the suggestions and well wishes!
Thanks for the suggestions and well wishes!
#65
Custody Issues / Re: Hi all! I'm grandparent se...
Last post by ocean - Jul 04, 2019, 07:29:14 AMAre the parents fighting for custody now? How old is child? At any point you can ask to stop hearing and say you would like time to get lawyer. Also, you may qualify for free legal aid at family court. In my state, the state child support office will file child support for you if you have anything saying you had custody now. Good luck!
#66
Custody Issues / Hi all! I'm grandparent seekin...
Last post by paternalgma - Jul 03, 2019, 09:02:08 PMNot sure if I'm doing this right, but it stated at the top to create an introductory post.
I am a grandmother that filed (Jan 19) for sole legal and physical custody of the grandchild that I have been raising over 8 years.
Parents showed little interest until I filed for CS last year.
I can't afford an attorney so I am going pro se'. My case involves 3 states.
Wish me luck!
I am a grandmother that filed (Jan 19) for sole legal and physical custody of the grandchild that I have been raising over 8 years.
Parents showed little interest until I filed for CS last year.
I can't afford an attorney so I am going pro se'. My case involves 3 states.
Wish me luck!
#67
Father's Issues / Drug testing
Last post by OhKscorpion - Jun 28, 2019, 03:33:00 AMI experienced a situation where CPS/CWS whatever it may be called where you live. The Child Protective Service Worker asked to do a hair test for drug and of course, used the standard "if you don't agree I will just ask the judge and it look bad. Or however, it was phrased because the mother agreed. About a week and a half later the test result came back.
One child was 4 and the other 7, the four-year-old test revealed enough meth in her system to indicating a daily user and the seven-year-old an occasional user. I only knew these kid because a close fined babysat them almost every day.
I visited my friend daily and I saw the kids daily and there was no way these kids had been taking meth or exposed to the amount of meth that CPS was reporting; I knew because of the fact these kids slept most the time I was around and when they were awake they weren't bouncing off the walls but watching TV mostly.
So after a great deal of time and research, this is what I discovered and I was shocked that so many attorneys buy into this sham.
1) there are no certified hair drug testing labs. Yes, often times the hair sample is sent to a lab which is certified by the Feds to do drug testing but since hair testing has not been approved for use, the labs that are certified sent the sample to a lab that is not (just to keep their certification 'clean'.
The labs that do the hair testing only confirm the presence of meth it is up to the client to make a determination of the results. Especially when it comes to juveniles the reason being the growth of children's hair varies so much and there has been very little scientific research on children (seems most governments have a problem with giving meth to children even in the name of research.
2) courts can only order a drug which is approved for use by the Department of Transportation who rely the FDA to certify the labs to meet the necessary standards.
BUT, if you agree to the request of CPS then you have cooked your own problems because the court is more than happy to accept any test you and CPS agree to. If you want to validate my facts a good place to start is Omega labs they seem to do a lot of testing for the courts and then ask your local court system about what test can they order someone to take, if that makes you feel uneasy use the internet and start with, what type drug testing is used by interstate truck drivers.
I just hate to see people fooled by anyone. I don't care for meth users driving huge trucks along beside me on the freeway and if the hair testing keeps being abused then it never be approved for use in the courts.
One child was 4 and the other 7, the four-year-old test revealed enough meth in her system to indicating a daily user and the seven-year-old an occasional user. I only knew these kid because a close fined babysat them almost every day.
I visited my friend daily and I saw the kids daily and there was no way these kids had been taking meth or exposed to the amount of meth that CPS was reporting; I knew because of the fact these kids slept most the time I was around and when they were awake they weren't bouncing off the walls but watching TV mostly.
So after a great deal of time and research, this is what I discovered and I was shocked that so many attorneys buy into this sham.
1) there are no certified hair drug testing labs. Yes, often times the hair sample is sent to a lab which is certified by the Feds to do drug testing but since hair testing has not been approved for use, the labs that are certified sent the sample to a lab that is not (just to keep their certification 'clean'.
The labs that do the hair testing only confirm the presence of meth it is up to the client to make a determination of the results. Especially when it comes to juveniles the reason being the growth of children's hair varies so much and there has been very little scientific research on children (seems most governments have a problem with giving meth to children even in the name of research.
2) courts can only order a drug which is approved for use by the Department of Transportation who rely the FDA to certify the labs to meet the necessary standards.
BUT, if you agree to the request of CPS then you have cooked your own problems because the court is more than happy to accept any test you and CPS agree to. If you want to validate my facts a good place to start is Omega labs they seem to do a lot of testing for the courts and then ask your local court system about what test can they order someone to take, if that makes you feel uneasy use the internet and start with, what type drug testing is used by interstate truck drivers.
I just hate to see people fooled by anyone. I don't care for meth users driving huge trucks along beside me on the freeway and if the hair testing keeps being abused then it never be approved for use in the courts.
#68
Visitation Issues / Re: Visitation - a lot has wen...
Last post by Waylon - Jun 24, 2019, 10:11:34 AMQuote from: dipper on Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM1) Right, everything is your fault, got it. That's mighty convenient for him, not having to take any responsibility for his actions.
We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth. .... We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason. He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment. But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.
2) They always say they'll get help, and 99.99999999% it never happens or it doesn't stick.
3) See #2.
#69
Father's Issues / Re: When is the right time to ...
Last post by Waylon - Jun 24, 2019, 10:08:16 AMGood question...
I threw out about 90% after my son turned 21. I kept a few specific items like my hand written diaries/logs, and a few court docs that I thought had significance (like the parenting evaluation report).
The rest I took and burned in a friend's backyard fire pit. I had more than 3 feet of paper (!!) stacked up to burn.
If you think you might need any of it someday you could always scan all of it with a document scanner and then trash the physical copies. Burn a couple CDs and also throw copies on a couple of thumb drives. Or, zip it all up and put it in an Amazon S3 bucket, that way it'll never ever get lost.
I threw out about 90% after my son turned 21. I kept a few specific items like my hand written diaries/logs, and a few court docs that I thought had significance (like the parenting evaluation report).
The rest I took and burned in a friend's backyard fire pit. I had more than 3 feet of paper (!!) stacked up to burn.
If you think you might need any of it someday you could always scan all of it with a document scanner and then trash the physical copies. Burn a couple CDs and also throw copies on a couple of thumb drives. Or, zip it all up and put it in an Amazon S3 bucket, that way it'll never ever get lost.
#70
Visitation Issues / Visitation - a lot has went on
Last post by dipper - Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AMHi,
We have primary custody since January 2018. BM and her mother shared joint legal with us and had visitation. Son had supervised visitation with no set times. Things went on, I filed a show cause. BM filed for sole custody. Maternal grandmother was supportive of this and willing to come off of order completely. During this time, bm was dating, planned on moving in with him, got pregnant on purpose - she had cystic fibrosis and it was not managed well. She did not do what she needed to do. Her health deteriated quickly. Went to court in February- her lawyer told her to drop it. She had notified everyone that she would be moving in December - into a trailer in the man's parent's yard and it still was not ready in February and no date in site. Her attorney told our attorney - she will never move and she cannot take care of a child.
So, an agreement was reached instead. We dropped show cause. She dropped sole custody. We took Wednesdays out of visitation and some was altered to make up for that. Maternal grandmother was not named in new visitation changes. ONLY the mother was named for weekend visitation and 4 weeks during summer. Grandmother signed the document. I have emails from bm stating that when she moved child would be with her, living with her - nights with her.
BM had the baby three months early in March. BM died in mid April. Apparently a bacterial infection set up. They let us know nothing of how serious her condition was until the night before she died. It is awful...and we truly feel for everyone. GD is doing okay....we already had her in therapy. We work on a memory book.
But the situation now........the maternal grandmother, in our opinion, does not have the same rights she did prior to that amendment in February. We have filed for a clarification from the court. We have also filed to have the joint legal decision making taken away as we have never gotten along. I found case law that cited that it would be stressful on a child to make a situation that requires cooperation and communication where none exists. Anyway, talked with GAL and she agrees about joint legal. She was not direct about visitation, but did ask if she could send our proposal of what we would offer to the grandmother - which kind of implies something to us.
However, grandmother had approached her ex (bm's dad) within days of bm passing away asking him to do something about us having custody. He said she also approached his family. She has now made a bedroom for gd and her brother when he gets out of the hospital.
Our son, who has supervised visitation, has been an issue for us. He does not want to pay any child support and calls us money greedy. I have filed through DCSE to let them handle it. He has never acted so mean before. We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth. He called my husband out of his head and paranoid. We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason. He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment. But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.
The part with the maternal grandmother - I expect she will file for sole custody. It is typically their way to wait until the day of court or the day before to file.
Son - I don't know whether to file to have even the supervised visits stripped until he goes through treatment and tests clean for a certain amount of time. Or just give these facts to the judge and let her do whatever she does.
We have primary custody since January 2018. BM and her mother shared joint legal with us and had visitation. Son had supervised visitation with no set times. Things went on, I filed a show cause. BM filed for sole custody. Maternal grandmother was supportive of this and willing to come off of order completely. During this time, bm was dating, planned on moving in with him, got pregnant on purpose - she had cystic fibrosis and it was not managed well. She did not do what she needed to do. Her health deteriated quickly. Went to court in February- her lawyer told her to drop it. She had notified everyone that she would be moving in December - into a trailer in the man's parent's yard and it still was not ready in February and no date in site. Her attorney told our attorney - she will never move and she cannot take care of a child.
So, an agreement was reached instead. We dropped show cause. She dropped sole custody. We took Wednesdays out of visitation and some was altered to make up for that. Maternal grandmother was not named in new visitation changes. ONLY the mother was named for weekend visitation and 4 weeks during summer. Grandmother signed the document. I have emails from bm stating that when she moved child would be with her, living with her - nights with her.
BM had the baby three months early in March. BM died in mid April. Apparently a bacterial infection set up. They let us know nothing of how serious her condition was until the night before she died. It is awful...and we truly feel for everyone. GD is doing okay....we already had her in therapy. We work on a memory book.
But the situation now........the maternal grandmother, in our opinion, does not have the same rights she did prior to that amendment in February. We have filed for a clarification from the court. We have also filed to have the joint legal decision making taken away as we have never gotten along. I found case law that cited that it would be stressful on a child to make a situation that requires cooperation and communication where none exists. Anyway, talked with GAL and she agrees about joint legal. She was not direct about visitation, but did ask if she could send our proposal of what we would offer to the grandmother - which kind of implies something to us.
However, grandmother had approached her ex (bm's dad) within days of bm passing away asking him to do something about us having custody. He said she also approached his family. She has now made a bedroom for gd and her brother when he gets out of the hospital.
Our son, who has supervised visitation, has been an issue for us. He does not want to pay any child support and calls us money greedy. I have filed through DCSE to let them handle it. He has never acted so mean before. We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth. He called my husband out of his head and paranoid. We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason. He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment. But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.
The part with the maternal grandmother - I expect she will file for sole custody. It is typically their way to wait until the day of court or the day before to file.
Son - I don't know whether to file to have even the supervised visits stripped until he goes through treatment and tests clean for a certain amount of time. Or just give these facts to the judge and let her do whatever she does.