Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - Genie

#71
at 1 year of age, per the averages a child should be making certain sounds and saying certain amount of words.  Now of course every child is so different. My SS didn't really start talking till he was about 3 years old but my niece said first word at 10 mos and took off talking from there with lightening speed.

Many pediatricians are fanatical about children saying so many words at so months old. I have a friend whose pediatrician yelled at her husband b/c their son wasn't saying 15 words at his 15 mos checkup and wanted them to have him evaluated for speech therapy.

My previous babysitter from when OD was a baby and getting Early Intervention therapies called them out to evaluate her daughter who was the same age as mine b/c she didn't think she was talking as she should and for some reason she qualified for speech therapy.

So the guidelines and tests must be pretty broad b/c there was a child with no disability what so ever who got the service and who I felt didn't need them but since baby sitter put up a stink she got them. So your X probably did the same thing.

Now I can see if your daughter was developmentally delayed and would say to take this into consideration when wanting 4 weeks.  But since that is not the case and you have proof it won't affect her enrollment, I say stay strong, get your proof and demand your visitation. There isn't much she can do now in my opinion since you can prove the 4 weeks won't disqualify her from being in Head Start.
#72
is birth - 3 years therapy services etc for children with disabilities or children that are delayed developmentally, speech, fine or gross motor skills.  This includes babies that were premies since they are normally delayed by amount of weeks/months they were early.  

I think we need a little more information here on why daughter is in the program and then I can base my answer on that.  For examply, my OD has early intervention services b/c she has down syndrome.  In my case, I would've had a problem with extended visitation b/c the therapies she received (and they were alot and many times a week) were a HUGE help to her development and reaching her milestones.  Now 2 weeks wouldn't be too much to miss but several months would've been devastating and would've put her back to where she started.

Head start or early childhood programs do not start till the day after the child's 3rd birthday.  I think either the terms are getting confused or BM is trying to make it sound like more than actually is in your daughter's case to deny this time. If it sounds like it is actually school, she thinks she would get her way better.

Can you provide more details please?
#73
Visitation Issues / You have to be firm.....
Apr 27, 2006, 10:10:06 AM
when the child is with you, you tell her that she can call her Mom but she will be staying with you for the rest of the weekend and not going home that day.  Don't deny her to talk to her Mom but hold firm that she will not be going home b/c this is her time to be with you and you don't get to see her much either.

As for her not seeing her Mom much, that is Mom's choice and if Mom tries to give you a sob story about wanting to spend time with her too, just tell her not to have daughter spending so much time at grandparents house then.  It is her choice to do this.  She is just using it to deny visitation.

As for enforcing. Good luck. You can go to court and she can be told to do what order states, and you walk out of court and she does what she pleases.  A viscious cycle.  After many court trips, you may see actually results from the judge doing more than a slap on the wrist. You can go in yourself but make sure you know the law and how it works etc or you will get screwed.

So I would start with being firm and having daughter stay whole alloted time with you.  She is starting to play games here and will do so until showed it won't work.  She will put up a fight at first but will get used to it and know what to expect after several visits.

As for her making a choice to come or not,  She has none.
#74
b/c they aren't married, she does have custody right now b/c she is the Mother and b/c baby lives with her.

So, your BF needs to go to court and get his paternity established, get CS set (that will be automatic - may be more or less than paying now) and ask for visitation.

That is your first step.  Don't delay on that.  Make it known that BF wants his overnights as well.  That is a fine line and can go either way with a judge. Look up the state's case law on how visitation is handled for babies.  I know IL has provisions in place till age of 2 yrs that can be used.

She can make an issue of your living arrangements and say she wants a morals clause which basically states no overnights stays for opposite sex when have baby which means no living together or no overnights.  Also, I believe you will need to get rid of your brother living there too.  Where would baby's room be if brother has 2nd bedroom.  She could make more issues about him living there as well.

So there are alot of issues here on both sides.  Do my step one and then take it from there. Get a good lawyer that will fight for BF and return calls promptly.
#75
and it did not good.  My ex's daughter was refusing to visit b/c of social life and BMs encouragement. Took her to court. Agreed to let daughter come one time a month but son had to come every other weekend like ordered.  Well, got out of court and it did no good. BM still refused visitation and continued to tell daughther she had choice to come or not. Had son couple times alone but BM made it so stressful by calling and babying him so much that that ended too. So going to court and having judge tell to do visitation is useless unless you have the drive and money to continue bringing her in time and time again.

Good luck.
#76
Visitation Issues / I would...
Aug 02, 2005, 10:51:29 PM
depending on her age, brind some stuff to do.  Maybe some of your favorites books from childhood to read to her.  Or some coloring books to do.  If she is older, then more age appropriate stuff depending on her interests (if you know them). I know being watched will be rough but try to be natural and pretend like they aren't there.

Good luck.  No idea on the fees but I hear they can be really steep.
#77
Visitation Issues / Next time he visits...
Jun 13, 2005, 10:08:43 AM
make sure he has a certified copy of the court order stating this. When she asks, he whips it out and there is nothing at all she can do. She can't demand something that is not court ordered and the police can't force him to do it either.

#78
Visitation Issues / Does it also state....
Jun 09, 2005, 02:10:49 PM
that he must take a test upon her request?  If so then he has to comply.

If it only states he should appear to be using then the police were correct and she should've given him the kids. He needs to contact his attorney to clarify this and find out what to do in the future if she does this.
#79
Visitation Issues / Why don't you....
Jun 06, 2005, 10:24:05 AM
ask that her husband who the boy thinks of as his Dad adopt him legally so they can really have that relationship.  Your DH will terminate his rights and her husband will adopt him.

And why are you paying CS?  Well that is b/c even though she doesn't want DH in the boy's life, the money is still very very nice. In fact that is probably why she hasn't asked for him to be adopted by step dad before. She would lose that money.
#80
I am looking for information on supervised visitaiton.  Need some specifics and personal experiences please...

Does anyone here have supervised visitation or had it in past or know someone who has/has had it?
What was the reason you were ordered this?
What did CP say, do, prove to make this what was ordered?
What were the terms?
Were you able to get this reversed at any point? What did you have to do to get normal visitation schedule?

I know many lie ect and NCPs are stuck with this. Just looking for personnal experiences on why you were given it and what you were able to do about it.

Thank you for your time.