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I talked with my attorney again this afternoon and she said that if She put the information into a communication it would have to be disclosed, however, if I "leaked" the information to the GAL it would not have to be disclosed to the other side.  

I can ask the GAL (who is a child advocate attorney) to not mention the tampering/perjury information  to the other side until we can complete the psych evaluation and investigate the abuse, change the order and make sure that my children are safe.  I have strong evidence that the Mom is emotionally and sexually abusing my son and she suffers from DID and drug abuse.  Strangely, her attorney is a flamboyant lying defense attorney who does 25% domestic relations and works the other 75% defending Baby Rapists and Drug Pushers.  (I'm not kidding).

Property and Support issues are minor.  This case is all about CUSTODY and what is the safest environment for the kids, and how can Mom be held accountable and be compelled to get treatment.

I feel it is is imperative to impeach the trustworthiness of the Petitioner Right Now when the custody evaluation is just starting.  If I can show that she willingly lied to the court (with her attorney's blessing) then I can discredit her declarations and those of her "friends" and so defuse the untruths and the further crap she is going to be slinging at me.

If I lose the GAL's endorsement at this stage, I will never get custody, no matter how many thousands I want to spend at trial.  I really feel I have to use this neutron bomb now, before she can start to build her case and heap even more lies upon me.  The gender bias in our county is extreme and Dads have a very hard time getting custody.

I appreciate your comments and advice to sit on things, but I'm a bit desperate and very concerned about my son's safety.

I think I can spin this information in such a way that she won't be able to return the serve, no matter how she tries to cover up her lies.

Desperado

While cleaning out some moving boxes after my STBX filed for dissolution, I discovered some legal notes and e-mails that prove:
 
1)  my STBX was directly coached by her attorney to LIE on 10 specific points of her declaration in an attempt to discredit me and get temporary custody of the kids  

2)  she in turn sent e-mails to 15 people and told them how to incorporate the same lies into their declarations.
 
I made copies of those notes/instructions and I have 14 declarations that are full of untruths by 14 people who perjured themselves.  Not to mention her attorney who is guilty of "fabricating evidence" and "tampering with witnesses".

My attorney says to just sit on this stuff until trial.  

I feel like I want to shout it from the rooftops and report the opposing attorney's slimy behavior and report the perjury to the District Attorney's office and get a skilled litigator and sue each and every one of these idiot people for harming me by lying to the court.  But my attorney says to just relax and sit on it.  We are just starting a custody evaluation and I think this is important information that the GAL should have.

How would you suggest that the information best be used?

I talked with my attorney again this afternoon and she said that if She put the information into a communication it would have to be disclosed, however, if I "leaked" the information to the GAL it would not have to be disclosed to the other side.  

I can ask the GAL (who is a child advocate attorney) to not mention the tampering/perjury information  to the other side until we can complete the psych evaluation and investigate the abuse, change the order and make sure that my children are safe.  I have strong evidence that the Mom is emotionally and sexually abusing my son and she suffers from DID and drug abuse.  Strangely, her attorney is a flamboyant lying defense attorney who does 25% domestic relations and works the other 75% defending Baby Rapists and Drug Pushers.  (I'm not kidding).

Property and Support issues are minor.  This case is all about CUSTODY and what is the safest environment for the kids, and how can Mom be held accountable and be compelled to get treatment.

I feel it is is imperative to impeach the trustworthiness of the Petitioner Right Now when the custody evaluation is just starting.  If I can show that she willingly lied to the court (with her attorney's blessing) then I can discredit her declarations and those of her "friends" and so defuse the untruths and the further crap she is going to be slinging at me.

If I lose the GAL's endorsement at this stage, I will never get custody, no matter how many thousands I want to spend at trial.  I really feel I have to use this neutron bomb now, before she can start to build her case and heap even more lies upon me.  The gender bias in our county is extreme and Dads have a very hard time getting custody.

I appreciate your comments and advice to sit on things, but I'm a bit desperate and very concerned about my son's safety.

I think I can spin this information in such a way that she won't be able to return the serve, no matter how she tries to cover up her lies.

Desperado

While cleaning out some moving boxes after my STBX filed for dissolution, I discovered some legal notes and e-mails that prove:
 
1)  my STBX was directly coached by her attorney to LIE on 10 specific points of her declaration in an attempt to discredit me and get temporary custody of the kids  

2)  she in turn sent e-mails to 15 people and told them how to incorporate the same lies into their declarations.
 
I made copies of those notes/instructions and I have 14 declarations that are full of untruths by 14 people who perjured themselves.  Not to mention her attorney who is guilty of "fabricating evidence" and "tampering with witnesses".

My attorney says to just sit on this stuff until trial.  

I feel like I want to shout it from the rooftops and report the opposing attorney's slimy behavior and report the perjury to the District Attorney's office and get a skilled litigator and sue each and every one of these idiot people for harming me by lying to the court.  But my attorney says to just relax and sit on it.  We are just starting a custody evaluation and I think this is important information that the GAL should have.

How would you suggest that the information best be used?

Mom is not your average petitioner that you would see anywhere.

She was a victim of incest for 9 years, starting at age 5, she had sex with her Dad, her Uncles, her older brother and she in turn abused her younger brother when they shared a room.  

As an adult she was addicted to alcohol, cocaine, sex and LSD and now in her 40's her personality is fragmenting.  We separated after she attempted suicide, then assaulted me and she was arrested.  She has refused to get help regardless of my attempts.

My attorney said the case is so messy the courts are not going to like it. So we are depending on counselors and the Guardian Ad Litem to give some clarity and direction.

And no, I am not an A-Hole, and I am not making any of this up.

Desperado

>>I have compelling reason to believe that Mom is sexually
>>abusing our 9 year old son through boundary violations of
>>bathing, dressing, bed-sharing and touching.  Mom was
>sexually
>>abused herself and has voiced fears of doing that to her own
>>children and has talked about being sexually attracted to
>our
>>son.  She says when she looks at his penis "It is so
>perfect,
>>I just can't look away!"    The situation is further
>>complicated because she abuses sleep medications and suffers
>>from depression and DID / alternate personalities.
>>
>>What is the best way to have this investigated with validity
>>and to get help for my son (and for the mother?).
>
>What objective evidence of your allegations exist?
>
>Would the child admit being abused to a therapist/social
>worker?

The child may/ or may not admit something to a therapist but the mother has been blocking attempts to get him in counseling, also, she has him sequestered in Homeschool and he doesn't have much outside contact.

Objective symptoms / evidence are:

1)  Extensive bedwetting
2)  Genital rashes
3)  Fondling himself
4)  Emotional outbursts
5)  Sleeping naked with mom (after he wets his bed and takes off his clothes and diaper)
6)  Mom going to his bed for "comfort" when she cries at night
7)  His Intense fear of being seen naked when changing clothes
8)  Unhealthy dependence on Mom, trouble sleeping at my house
9)  Mom participating in bathing him (he can't adjust his own bathwater)
10) Mom bathing or changing with her door open
11) Mom sending him wierd e-mails about sleeping together

These things have beeen witnessed by other family members or myself
or told to my 12 year old daughter by the son.

One other fact, the Mom, in addition to being abused by Her Dad, Her Uncle and Her Older Brother, shared a bedroom with her younger brother and she in turn abused him for several years.

Desperado

I have compelling reason to believe that Mom is sexually abusing our 9 year old son through boundary violations of bathing, dressing, bed-sharing and touching.  Mom was sexually abused herself and has voiced fears of doing that to her own children and has talked about being sexually attracted to our son.  She says when she looks at his penis "It is so perfect, I just can't look away!"    The situation is further complicated because she abuses sleep medications and suffers from depression and DID / alternate personalities.

What is the best way to have this investigated with validity and to get help for my son (and for the mother?).

I don't want to come across as some over-reactive, disgruntled Dad, I want my Son to be safe and well.

Desperado

My estranged wife and I are going into a custody evaluation re: our two children boy (9) and girl (12).
 
a)Mother has attempted suicide and written the children a note.  
b)Mother has assaulted me and was arrested for Domestic Violence.
c)Mother has been court-ordered to stop taking sleeping pills and painkillers.
d)Mother denies all the above or says its not an issue.

Mother has a group of supporters (friends and a pastor from church) who are siding with her and stating that she is just fine.

1) Do I need to worry about or "counter" these witnesses?  They seem to be in left field anyway.

2)  How and who should I provide as collateral witnesses for the custody evaluation?

Desperado

My first attorney was a senile idiot and did nothing.

My new attorney is very sharp and motivated and has accomplished alot in a short amount of time.  A Guardian Ad Litem has been appointed, Pysch Evals will be done on both parents and the children have been ordered into counseling.  My STBX has also been ordered to stop taking any sleeping medications or controlled substances.

In my county, allegations of Sexual Abuse are sometimes unfounded and my attorney recommended that we go through the evaluation process which would yield a more conclusive result rather than just calling CPS and having them do a cursory investigation.  CPS in our state has a reputation for sloppy work and poor follow-through and missing the boat.  My attorney feels that evidence revealed to a counselor will be more credible and will have to be acted on in the criminal arena and would not appear that it was just coming from a zealous father.

The gender bias is so strong in my area, people can't seem to believe that a woman could actually abuse a boy,  even though the prison that housed Mary Kay LaTourneau is right down the road from us.

I am anxious and concerned about my son's welfare and I am seeking the best counsel I can from my attorney, 2 different child counselors, and a forensic examiner who works at the sexual assault center.  They have all assured me that everything possible will be done to properly investigate the issues and that I have done the right thing in presenting my concerns in my pleadings to the court.

On a personal note, this situation really sucks and it sickens me to think that Mom could be so selfish as to use my little boy, just like her Dad used her.

I had NO IDEA I was marrying into such a twisted, sick family.

Thanks for your concern,

Desperado

I am in the state of Washington,  My estranged wife filed a protection order that restrains me from Harassing or Stalking or Assaulting her, etc. and I am supposed to stay away from her work and residence.
I respect her boundaries and the law and I keep my distance.

Most of our contact is through attorneys though we have short conversations about the children or issues related to selling our house.

Lately, she has been calling me and initiating talk about "relationship  issues, the marriage, her feelings, etc."  This always goes nowhere and she gets mad and hangs up.  It is upsetting to me and I would prefer to not have to deal with her stuff.

1)  Is she allowed to "violate" her own protection order with impunity?

2)  Do I have to file one in return to get relief from her verbal attacks?

3)  Should I tell her I am recording our phone conversations and I do
     not want to discuss any relationship issues with her?

Desperado