I need help

[Romersgirl]

Background - My husband and I recently (Sept 30) got full physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.   Now to clarify the CO states "the father is to have sole legal and physical custody", so it does not mention me. We declared the BM unfit and the judge recommended supervised visitation for her with her mother.  Her mother had custody of the children before us.  These boys have been switched around from family to family to the point where the courts are tired of seeing us.

My husband and I got married on June 26th before the custody hearing.  He husband has now left me and the kids (the kids are still with me) and not been home since Thursday, nor has he talked to the kids.  I've since found out he's been staying at BM's house, I guess with the hopes to get back together.

1.  How long do you have to walk away before you can get someone for abandonment?

2.  Since the GAL and the judge declared BM unfit, won't it be bad for my DH if he's trying to get back wiht her and take the kids around her?

3.  What are the chances for me to get custody of these kids, I can prove that I'm the one that takes care of them and that I have full custody of my daughter.  I know you dont like working with "chances" but has it been done before?

4.  What is the next move?  

[socrateaser]

Hey, it's not that bad -- after all, you're not dodging bullets in Iraq.

Call your DH and, if he won't talk to you in person, then leave him a message, that you just want to end the marriage and move on as quickly as possible, and with the least expense to the both of you.

In my opinion, don't invest your future in his kids because that will just chain you to a relationship that you need to unload. You deserve better, but you won't get it if you are wallowing in the sorrow of the past. I understand that it's very tempting to want to protect his children, but I think, that in the long run, you will regret taking that path.  

If you get all adversarial and appear threatening, then your DH will do the same, and the result will be a big attorney bill. You haven't been married that long, so just cut your losses and then take the money you save and have a nice vacation.

I would, however, make sure that you immediately close any jointly held credit card accounts or unsecured lines of credit, and  if there are any jointly held secured credit lines (i.e., home equity line of credit), max them out and take the cash to an escrow company/bank/attorney, and set up a trust account that requires both you and DH's signature for any withdrawals, until you can get your divorce finalized.