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Messages - Kent

#191
Father's Issues / RE: Where's the bad advice?
Oct 27, 2005, 08:06:52 AM
Being a divorced parent with the other parent moving 1hr15min away, taking no regards to how that affected our child, wihtout making any effort to change the schedule, I kind of have to agree that moving in that fashion is a bad thing indeed.

In my opinion, the logical order would be:
1) Determine when and where to move
2) Determine how it will affect the child(ren) and create a possible alternate schedule
3) Come to an agreement on those changes with the other parent
4) Initiate the moving process

Moving first will put you in a bad position. First off, YOU cannot keep yourself to the current schedule anymore. Why would the other parent be inconvenienced because you decided to up and go without getting all your arrangements straightened out first? It puts you in a bad negotiating position.
Second, if you can't agree, and it goes to court, no judge will feel any sympathy for you.

But the most important part: How is all this aggrevation going to benefit your child(ren)? At almost any age, they will know exactly what is going on, and any friction between you and the ex will have a negative effect on them.

I currently live 50 miles from where I work. I own 5 acres of land only 23 miles from where I work. However, building and moving there would create an additional 40 minutes between me and the other parent. So I have a choice; Move, and become an inconvenience to my ex and our child, or stay put and carry the commute myself. I don't have to think long about that; I'm staying where I'm at.

Kent!
#192
Father's Issues / Where's the bad advice?
Oct 27, 2005, 04:18:13 AM
Your examples do not show any bad advice.

I.e. the moving issue; most court orders state that PRIOR to a move, a new schedule needs to be created, approved, etc. etc.
There are good reasons for that. You obviously didn't do that, and start thinking about the problem after the fact.

Asking why you didn't take care of that before the move is a very justified question. It also is a statement to readers of the posts that yes, they should take care of that before they plan to move.

And if there were compelling grounds why you didn't, then knowing those grounds helps to give you better advice.
("My home was destroyed by a hurricane" would get you different advice than "I just wanted to move, and was too busy to take care of this beforehand". Also: "I want arrearages forgiven because my CS was set to 75% of my gross income" will get you different advice than "Well, I wanted a new car, so I missed 6 months of CS to pay for it").

I know that both issues are a real pain, and cause a lot of frustration. But please do not read anything in the replies that's not there.

Kent!
#193
It will be aired at 11 pm on WPBA Channel 30.

I will watch them tonight and see who their sponsors/advertisers are, and update tomorrow.

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Kent!
#194
Father's Issues / Please re-write your post
Oct 25, 2005, 09:07:04 AM
I didn't read your post.

Please re-write your post. Break it up into paragraphs, and first type it in a word processor, so you can run a spell check, then copy & paste it.

That way, it is much easier to read your post, and you will get much more advice.

Kent!
#195
Father's Issues / RE: PLEASE HELP
Oct 25, 2005, 04:28:37 AM
1) Which state are you in?

2) How far along is she?

3) How young is she?

In general, your bf does not have any rights at all unless he gets them established. You can file with the courts to have a paternity test done after birth, and if the child truly is his, get his name on the birth certificate, and get parenting time established. At that moment he will also have to pay child support.

If she is under 18, he may also face charges of statutory rape.

Your chances of getting custody are not very good, unless you can prove that she uses drugs, alcohol, or prostitutes. Her being manipulative is not a reason to take the child from her.

If she truly is as vindictively manipulative as you say, he will be in for the fight (and expense) of his life, for the next 18 years.

Good luck!

Kent!
#196
Father's Issues / RE: Need Help
Oct 11, 2005, 08:12:17 AM
Moving out was not a good idea, it tells the court that you were willing to abandon the children.

Tell your (or the other) attorney that the reasons for one primary parent are total B.S.
In your case, what you need is: joint legal, shared physical, and one parent having primary residency at all times.
Also address who makes final decisions in important matters (school, medical, religion, etc).

She cannot change child support, nor can she change parenting time (just hate the word visitation).
She can petition the court for a change, but without a significant change in circumstances, it will not be granted.

However, and here's the big thing, if the mother will not agree to shared/joint custody, it will be very difficult to get a judge to give you that. In that case, DO NOT allow your attorney to agree to a Guardian Ad Litum, instead insist on a custody evaluation. More expensive, but much more accurate.

Kent!
#197
1) If your ex doesn't live in the same county as where the custody order was done, and your ex has lived in a different county for more than 6 months, then the county you filed your motion does not have jurisdiction, and you are wasting time. You need to file motion in the county your ex and daughter have lived for the past 6 months.

2) Certified letter does not constitue a certificate of service. You need to have your ex served with the papers by a law enforcement officer.

3) As far as your desired changes go, keep in mind: "Ask for the world, settle for what you want".

4) I HIGHLY recommend to hire an attorney for your court appearance. I know it's expensive, but, unless you are very familiar with family law and court proceedings, you cannot afford to not have an attorney. (Just for experience, go to Family Court for a day, just to see how things go around there, and then see if you're up to that).

5) Getting a letter from an aunt, school principal, etc. will not do you any good, since these are not offical affidavits; opposing counsel will have them thrown out as inadmissible. An attorney will be able to help you get an affidavit from them, but it would be so much better if they would testify on your behalf in court, or at least give a deposition. To either one, you can subpoena them (even though they will not appreciate that).

6) Check if you are in a one-party state, and if you are, start recording any and every interaction you have with your ex.
If you are not, then once tell her that from now on, all interaction will be recorded, make sure you record that too, and then you're good to go.

Kent!
#198
Father's Issues / Glad we could help... ;o) nm
Oct 06, 2005, 07:59:16 AM
.
#199
In the end, it will be the boy's fault, and she's gonna get off with mandatory counseling.

Kent!
#200
Father's Issues / No no no!!!
Sep 19, 2005, 09:08:51 AM
Give the tape to your attorney (well, make a copy and give it to your attorney).

That will make it part of atty-client priviledge, and it is not open to discovery anymore.

Kent!