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just so you know a separation agreement can be drawn up and agreed upon by both you and your ex BUT for any reason at all she decides to change it she will be able to.  It's all being held with a grain of salt.  we had this happen to us.  my hubby's ex had her lawyer draw up a sep. agreement and it stated that neither party could move away from home town further than 200 miles.  She thought this would prevent my hubby from moving to FL where he is from... Well he had no intentions on doing that immediately anyway.  So when the time came and she wanted to move she got a lawyer and took it to court.  Paying as much as he does in child support every month made it impossible for him to get a lawyer for himself.  So here we are with no lawyer and  the judge saying she can move the kids 8 1/2 hrs away from here.  Def. more than 200 miles!!!!  So basically the judge told us that the separation agreement wasn't worth the paper it was written on......  be wary of anything like that and if possible get it incorporated into your divorce decree so then it becomes a court order not just words on a peice of paper

it may have to be heard again??  but truthfully i don't know.  good question i'll be coming back to read the responses on this question that's for sure!

Well we were supposed to get the kids on the 26th until jan 2nd.  We ran into some really bad winter weather on the way up to Virginia to meet the BM to pick kids up.  Got to Raleigh NC and lost control of vehicle and ended up in a ditch.  Really bad driving conditions and not safe for the kids. There were no snow plows out on the interstates no salt trucks nothing.  We are from southern north carolina and rarely see snow so even with the best of driving, it was still very unsafe.  We called BM and told her we would call her back when we can arrange to get a different car for the trip.  Mind you court papers say we must meet them at 2 pm and it isn't even 8 am yet, our drive is a 4 hr drive.  By the time we get home we find another car we call her back and she doesn't answer.  And doesn't return msg's.  On the 27th WE call her back and ask what is going on?  She had left our two kids ages 5 & 3, with her cousin in PA and flew with her boyfriend to Wisconsin!!  I couldn't believe it!  So we FINALLY get up with her and she says that her mother was going up to PA to get the kids and we could get them on the 31st and bring them back to VA on the 2nd.  We were livid.  Needless to say just to be nice my hubby the kids BD is being way too nice and letting the grandparents keep them till today.  So after work we will go and get them.  I am so angry and need to know if there is anything I can file to take to court about this?  Maybe visitation interference?  I know techniqually we could have gone to the grandparents house to get them and should couldn't say anything.  But is there anything that can be filed in court to prevent this from happening again??  Sorry this is so long thought you'd need the history on sittuation before giving an opinion.

thanks, flewwellin

if your SD has told her BM and her mother is in anyway vindictive she will probably try to start something.  I have been through some of this with my hubby's ex.  protect yourself, document everything that happens in a truthful manner if it happened that way document it that way if  CPS is involved i read off of this site demand everything in writing.  You really should read the FAQ's on Sexual abuse allegations this site offers.    flewwellin

Get and attorney and ask them as many questions as possible in the 30 mins allowed.  (don't let them become long winded they try to do this when they want to waste your time.) i'd also begin with filing all you can in your state.  I am a NC resident and know that once a child enter's our courts systems the state holds jurisdiction over the child until they reach 18 yrs of age.  Be prepared for the battle of your life and good luck.  

p.s. my hubby and i are attempting to gather the money to go for primary custody of my step-kids is biological kids.  

flewwellin

I think that you were correct in talking to the SF cause it in the end is helping a child keep their father in their life.  Your husband wouldn't have a problem with you speaking about father's rights to some other man going thru this sittuation would he?  He also wouldn't demand knowing about it right?  Just think of it this way, your helping a child out not the man who is a step father to your step son.  

I truly hope that you are keeping that opinion Far away from the childrens ears.  The last thing that those poor babies need right now is their step mom talking like that around them.  (you'd be surprised what children actually do hear) What you need to do is either hide or deal with your anger towards their mother (it is a justified anger ) and step up and be the most loving person on earth to them now, they really need you.

I agree also. My DH was cheated on by his wife after she had their first kid and seriously how does he KNOW for sure that the children are his?  He doesn't but he doesn't want to get a DNA test because he has right to these kids and if it comes out neg that he isn't the father it would tear him up.  Another injustice if you ask me!   I agree that it should be a madatory procedure and I am married with a baby on the way and have no worries at all!  I know exactly who the father of my baby is ( YES my husband!)

I just received this as an email that I regularly get and thought it was worth sharing. The link is provided below.


http://ancpr.com/blog/archives/13

As a hobby I restore vehicles with my husband and I'd say you are lucky you weren't hurt worse but from the looks of it this vehicle is an older car you should count your blessings you were in an older car and not in a new one.  The old cars are made out of real metal and not fiberglass that takes a bump to dent or worse an accident like this, you'd have been "eating your legs".  You wouldn't have died in this accident but yeah any accident is terrifying.

As for the universe trying to screw you, I am sure you aren't the only one who feels this way.  Dads around the world are constantly screwed and treated unjustly my husband being one of them.  The things that have helped my husband the most is when things feel like it couldn't be worse he goes takes a deep breath, vents his feelings, and puts it all away.  He knows that his life is going to be difficult for at least 14 more years (the youngest from his first marriage wil be 18 then) and he just lets it roll off his back.  Stand strong you'll get where you need to be, you sound like you are more than willing to "break your back" to get what you need.