Messages

Keep your head up, it will get easier!  There are so many dads like you out there and you give them hope and inspiration.  DH and I are the same way, we spend hours of what if's and literally hours on the phone to our attorney monthly.  We document and do all of the things that we shouldn't have to do, but do because we have to.  We have to let SD know that there is a better life out there for her and there are people that care about and love her, not for a pay check, but for her.  We get tired and DH and I take it out on each other, but mostly we know that in the end our daughter will know that her dad, s-mom, and bonus sister love her more than any dollar amount could buy...

DH felt the same way.  He was mad all the time, because here he was spending time with my daughter (he has been there since she was 1 1/2, she is now 6) and he didn't even know where his daughter was (BM moved without telling him while he was TDY)  He had so much guilt.  It lessened a little when he was finally able to see SD, but he does still struggle with it.  I think it is only natural for you to feel that way, but you are in NO way cheating on your son.  I agree that it is the equivalent to having to sons!  They are both lucky to have you and you are lucky to have both of them, children are a blessing no matter who's they are!  

DH and I talk about this alot!  I would have no problem going above and beyond for BM (and therefore SD) if BM were normal stopped playing games!

Trust me, we too wish one of you good dads that are interested in their children had fathered ours as well...I tell DH that ALL THE TIME!!! :) Keep being the good men that you are!!!

You know it is really funny, I am a mom and can't get help to save my life!  BF doesn't do $h!T~not even call let alone see his beautiful daughter.  I have even had "support enforcement" tell me that "he needs to live too" he is so far behind it isn't even funny, and all that they can do is suspend his license...SO WHAT!  He drives anyway!...On the other hand, I am married and my DH Pays out the @$$!!!  PFB gets every break under the sun, she definately knows how to work the system.  She refuses to work, she doesn't take care of SD! Do you think CS pays for anything for SD, nope, we take care of that stuff too!  Plain and simple, the system sucks and NOBODY protects the children.  Even those good parents that try are shot and beaten down...America the  great.  Land of the free, funny we are all slaves to this jacked up system.  How ironic and very sad.

not necessarily, with her getting it herself, nobody can say that you somehow managed to alter the documents...

In our state of WA, CPS has 24 hours to investigate sexual abuse.  DD was being sexually abuse while in DF care and she would not say the name of who so nothing was done.  I also deal with CPS on a daily basis (with work) and the abuse has to be founded.  Anyone can make an allegation.  DD would have to say yes my dad is doing x, y and Z to me.  If all is as you say it is than you have NOTHING to worry about.  It will definately be a pain in the rump, but nothing more than that...best wishes...

My suggestion is this.  REPORT IT (like yesterday) and make sure they know you have all of this documentation.  I would do this, even if they don't do anything, because if anything comes up and they find out that you knew and did nothing, then that is when he will be taken away from BOTH of you.  If you call and nothing is done, but you at least report it and something happens than you have a little more leverage!  It is never easy and they do not like to hear from non custodial parents, so you may need to push the issue!  Good luck to you and your son!

A "bad ass gansta rapper" he is not!  I think that you would be AMAZED at what Kanye West is trying to achieve with his "stardom"  I also think that you would be impressed with what he has been able to call attention too...he has been on national television talking about "gays" and how the word in general is unacceptable.  He has asked his fellow "stars" to stop and think before they rap about the subject or the word in general.  He called Pres. Bush out in the wake of Katrina.  He called him the racist that I personally believe he is and spoke out on the lack of services that Katrina victims were receiving.  He is an activist for "everyday people" This rap was just another reality of what "everyday people" just like us go through everyday. (Just without the pre-nup. ;)...  

It is a long hard road full of "NO'S" and "We can't help you"  but I can only tell you to PURSUE IT again and again!  Get a paper trail!  Do not give up!  and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!