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Messages - Andrew_S

#11
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
Jun 24, 2011, 01:06:47 PM
I did sign this (below) agreement as a compromise as one of those tough choices, it comes down to facilitating access to the children over the Summer vacation periods for me, I will and expect that I will never get that time back.  I understand from the children they were kept in day care and I thought it would better if they spend time with me instead and if I allow more time to progress ultimately as in most cases the children will suffer lack of interaction with me and not only never learn anything from me but also we can just hang out and try be dad and kids, instead of being separated by trying to hold a position of legal validation.   It would have been almost 3 months since seeing the children if I don't.

I, XXXXXXX   have offered to give Andrew G Steiger parenting time in exchange for withdrawal of a motion for contempt against me.
June 21st 2011 at 6 pm to June 24th 2011 at 6.00 p.m.
July 16th 2011 at 6 p.m.until July 22nd at  6.00 p.m.
September 2nd 2011 at 6 p.m. until September 5th, 2011 at 6.00 p.m.

I XXXXXX will allow Andrew G Steiger to maintain his scheduled Summer Vacation as set forth in the court order for 2010 and clarification dated 2011.

Signed by Former spouse

Signed by her husband

And signed by me.
#12
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
Jun 23, 2011, 09:23:32 PM
Ok, Motion for supervised visitation was dismissed, date for contempt on my motion set for 20th July, a GAL and fees has been ordered. Now we wait again, former spouse has offered to let me see the children, but only because she lost her motion otherwise she stated if she had won I would not be seeing them again.  Regardless as has been pointed out we have to play by mommy's rules.  My concern as always is the length of time she has to work on the children and alienate them, it is a tough road, leaving tough choices.
#13
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
Jun 16, 2011, 03:10:11 PM
Still waiting for a hearing date to be set on my motion for Contempt filed on the 27th of May, I have learned that she has communicated with the court as I received a letter from the court commissioner stating so and he has stated that he cannot hear the contempt motion as that can only be heard by a Judge. My former spouse also has an attorney funded by an advocacy group to represent her or that is my understanding at this point.  I have communicated with that attorney stating that I need some discovery on what exactly is my former spouses beef and what evidence she has to overturn a recent Judges decision. To date, I have received nothing or a response but the attorney is now listed as the attorney of court record.

My biggest concern of course at this juncture is legal technicalities, the last time I encountered this situation as I have mentioned before is the commisioner will order a temporary order and I will just continue to wait for the court machinery to grind it's way along and the kids are eventually estranged.  The last time I filed such a motion I was dragged into the litigation and money vortex and I was placed on supervised visitation, during that time the GAL who represented the kids stated that the best thing I could do was give up my parental rights and her new husband could adopt the kids.  So this 20th of June her motion for supervised visitation will be heard in front of the commissioner, lets see what happens. 
#14
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
Jun 13, 2011, 08:52:47 PM
Hi all, I managed to get service of my contempt by the sheriff processing department, I am still awaiting receipt confirmation but they have verbally acknowledged service, I will have to file the receipt with the court to get a court date for the contempt hearing.  In the meanwhile on the 20th I am before a court commissioner, who is hearing the supervised visitation motion from the former spouse.  Again I reiterate I require any input from anyone who in these family courts keeps getting motions for the same thing, and what their experience is, and how you get out of the legal loop to stop it happening, again and again.  I don't have much money left so the lawyers have long gone and got their pound of flesh.
At the moment there is no communication, either by phone, by email or family wizard with either the former spouse or the children, those items are part of my existing court contract order, and I have tried very hard and just short of knocking on the door.  I am remaining optimistic and calm, because there is no point in getting a hernia or ending up asking for help for males as their really is none short of seeing an attorney and forums such as this.
#15
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
Jun 02, 2011, 12:32:21 PM
Ok all,  an update, I have now received an affidavit in the mail from a notary and legal services supporting the former spouses motion for a temporary order for supervised visitation.  It states exactly what was alleged in the TRO of March this year almost word for word.  So it looks like she wants to go again and see if a different Judge or commissioner will giver the former spouse what she wants.  My experience is they usually do, I was given supervised visitation despite doing nothing in 07, where I had to employ an accredited social worker on a Saturday for two hours at $150.00 an hour plus travel over 6 weeks.  Even then my former spouse missed turning over the kids, so really even if I let her have what she wants she is still not going to do it and I do not believe the courts enforce their own orders anyway.

If I recall correctly she did the same in 06, 07, 08, 09, and now 11.  Basically what it does is allow her to with hold the children and there are no consequences and I never get my vacations with the children.  This year was slightly different in that she also asked for a TRO so she not miss having easter with the children which is stated quite clearly on the allegations.  'Mommy needs to be with the children over Easter' a witness stated , that aside, the allegations are the same and they were when dismissed in the TRO hearing of March.  I think they call the matter Res Judica, doing the same thing over and over again.    
#16
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
May 31, 2011, 05:36:12 PM
Not that I am aware of but thanks for chiming in, her attorney withdrew a few months ago as did mine, (No money left here so that would explain why they have withdrawn and I have filed for bankruptcy) I am kind of missing the kids as it's my vacation time with them but this has been the same problem for the last five years.  But it is a good idea to suggest for those who know their former spouse has an attorney.

Thanks. 
#17
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
May 30, 2011, 02:29:25 PM
Right ! Not on the docket yet and service has to be made, but she is not at her house or anywhere to be found at this time.  I am unsure of her domestic situation but her last husband was having problems, and a rumor is around she is in another state for a prolonged vacation.  So we will see, I am not expecting to be able to complete the service of the motion so it should be interesting.
#18
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
May 30, 2011, 01:36:52 PM
OK all I have filed my contempt motion to show cause, it looks like she is assuming her motion for supervised visitation is valid in her mind without authorization from any court and has stated to a police officer that she is working with a GAL and the CPS who are working with her to maintain her choice to with hold the children for the reason that she has filed a motion and I expect as in previous summer vacations I will not get the children.  As practiced where I live the advocacy groups tend to practice the support of mothers who keep the children away long enough so that fathers end up with a legal default of no contact and the award of sole custody to the mother. But I am keeping my fingers crossed the court will not do as they did before keep delaying the motion for years, as the last time I filed a motion it ended up turning into a trial that took two years to decide.
#19
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
May 24, 2011, 10:59:25 PM
Have attempted to find out the exact date of any hearing, none have been set.  I assume the former spouse and DV advocacy support group is going to have this whitewashed by the court stating that the issue is in family court for a never ending determination or something.  Which is a common suggested tactic by a well versed court practitioner or advocate and my personal experience, so do watch for that one if you see it.   I delayed filing to determine the merit of what exactly was going on but shall now do so in order to progress my claim that she is violating and in contempt of a court order.  In order to elude to the problems I am dealing with I believe they are the issues of health, I am led to understand I am dealing with a person who is histrionic, depressed and medicated with a control factor of 5 out of 10 of an organic brain condition, delusional with a GAF of 50, if that helps anybody to understand another dimension to my problem.  I am in constant fear of what she may do to the children or me in order to achieve intended outcomes, so often walk very gently. Up until recently she was supported by a large crew of professionals, her new husband and the court appointed GAL.  Now she is not, mainly because there is little money left in the kitty! So again pointers and help appreciated.  I do feel sorry for my former spouse, but my respect and trust are long gone when the child abuse charges were put in place but my primary concern is the welfare of the children as long as I can or am allowed to be involved.
#20
Father's Issues / Re: SOLUTIONS AND METHOD
May 23, 2011, 04:28:22 AM
Just taken delivery of the court summons it states a request by my former spouse that I be placed on supervised visitation.  No other details, perhaps I will find out the facts or reasons when the court hearing is stated and I am handed the reasons at the hearing.