Messages

Thanks all. BTW - If I don't or didn't say thanks to any of you, it is not because I don't appreciate what you say, its just that I post things and forget.

To keep you up to date, I have decided to put cel phone away and notify CP via certified mail that it will be put away.

Additionally, I notified CP that land line is available for use.

If you hadn't noticed, CP disseminated my unlisted number to people that I do not know (See Soc's forum).

I find that I have to be a "hardliner" as giving any wiggle room has always bitten me in the behind. I am not a "hardliner" to be mean, I just do it based on personal experience.

Thanks all!

My State is Virginia, the child's State is Florida.

The CP bought the child a cel phone about a year ago so that CP could talk directly with the child without speaking to me and vice versa.

You might think that this is a good idea, and I did to. However, something has made me a bit uneasy about this. I could not quite put my finger on it, but CP seems to always have a deeper darker purpose then can be seen on the surface.

I do respect my child's privacy, but child always comes back to me feeling blue after talking to CP.

With my landline, I can at least document how many times CP has disturbed visitation per day.

Quite honestly, the child's cel phone does not seem to be condusive to "good visitation time" with me.

Do I have to continue to allow the child to use his cel phone during visitation time with me?

Thanks

I re-read your last sentence, no CP's insurance allegedly does not pay at all in my area because it is out of network.

I got the employer based insurance, but anyone can lose their job, even the CP.

I don't want to create a situation where the CP will be able put additional financial burdens on me where and when I can avoid it.

No, I already pay at a discounted rate when he sees a doctor near me since I hold employer based medical insurance.

The CP perpetually asks if I have insurance so that CP can drop him off of their insurance.

I didn't get your last question, but I think I have an answer. She pays his insurance premiums while he resides with her, and I pay his entire insurance premium while he resides in the State of Virginia.

My main question is, do I have to tell the CP that I have insurance for the child if asked?

The CP will not stop asking.

Thanks again.

I reside in Virginia and the child resides in Florida.

Nothing in the Final Dissolution states that I must carry medical insurance for my child.

I understand that the CP can obtain the child's medical history, just as I have fought hand and foot to obtain the child's medical history as the NCP.

This is not what I am talking about here.

I have recently obtained employment based medical insurance for my child, but it is only available for use in the DC metro area.

The CP allegedly has employment based medical insurance for my child but it is only available for use in South Florida.

(In the event of an emergency, it is my understanding that either insurance would provide coverage).

My concern is that the CP will ask me if I have medical insurance for the child.

If CP finds out, I am concerned that the tables could get turned on me and I would be forced to pay for the child's medical insurance premium in Florida, which halt my ability to pay my present insurance based premium for the child while he is in Virginia.

I am also concerned that I would be forced to perpetually carry insurance for the child in the State of Florida if I lost my job, or even get stuck paying for it in the form of arrears.

I do realize that I need to disseminate the child's medical information if asked while on this soil, but must I really disclose the fact that he has insurance in this state? If so, must I provide the child's insurance card, or is all of this information implicit if CP was to ask for his medical chart?

I am just protecting my families overall finances as any normal person would want to do, which thereby effects my ability to ultimately see my child and keep him healthy during visitation time.

Thank you all very much for your time and thought.

I have been documenting the dates of the abscences (it is very easy to do as the information is available online with authentication credentials).

All of your advice has been solid.

I have already sent CP a certified mail explaining some of the problems.
(Which may cause CP to realize that I am out for custody, but still good in some ways I am sure that is good because it shows concern on my behalf and good documentation, substantiates my effort to obtain positive changes, and at bare minimum serves as a good footnote).

I disagree with one thing. I do not want to fall back into the pattern of speaking with CP. CP threatens my second family. I need to keep myself off of that phone.

Thanks for your time!

I have access to the child's school records and have found the following:

absent from school 19 times during the year 2004 and tardy 4 times, 20 times during the year 2005, and tardy 2 times. He has been absent 10 times this year and it is only June. Additionally 2 absences of those absences have been unexcused. He has also been tardy twice this year.

Might this represent a substantial change of circumstances?

Thanks

I live in the State of Virginia but the child resides in Florida.

4 years ago, a final dissolution was entered granting the child primary residential custody with the CP.

I am the NCP.

I retained an attorney at that time, but the attorney "conveniently" did not petition for custody even though I repeatedly asked him to. Anyways, I filed a bar complaint against that attorney, but this did not help my problem of remaining an NCP.

I know that in the State of Florida, a sucessful petition for custody is based on a substantial change of circumstances, and/or "in the best interest of the child."

The attorney "conveniently" failed to mention that the CP was arrested for domestic violence against me. He also failed to mention that the CP decided to keep the child and remain in the State of Florida during a vacation that we took there. This was only a few weeks after CP's arrest for Domestic Violence against me. (Our initial residence in Virginia at that time was unfortunately for only 4 months though as we had just moved from Florida.) (Interestingly enough, CP asked local police (Virginia at the time) what would happen if she took the child away). The police told CP at that time that if they were to leave VA, they would be arrested for kidnapping!! I decided to leave child with CP in Florida as knowing how things work, I was afraid I would get lifted for kidnapping if I took him back to VA.

I would like to know if I can still bring this up and petition for custody?

Please do not confuse my previous residency in Virginia with my present one.

I lived in VA during 2001, but moved back to FL for a few years. I moved back to VA in 2005.

Thanks!

Ocean and Dez, Thanks again!

I am going to be petitioning for custody, I am just waiting to find the right angle. See the recent post in the custody forum.

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=101&topic_id=7166&mesg_id=7166&page=

Basically, I have lived in VA before, now I am back. Before the CP divorced me, CP got arrested for domestic violence against me.

We went on vacation to FL together for a few days (where we lived before). CP decided that they wanted to remain in FL with my child. Guessing how things go, I decided not to take my child back to VA for fear of being accused of kidnapping.

Please see that thread. I am sure you will be interested and may even be able to add some valuable input.

it's ok, not your fault....

I do not have joint custody but have stipulated that "shared parental responsibility" exist. This also seems to be implicitly backed up by Florida State law:

61.13 (5)(2)

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?mode=View%20Statutes&SubMenu=1&App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=61.13&URL=CH0061/Sec13.HTM


Child is 6, but is pretty mature. Been divorced 5 years now.

Thanks for your help again!