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I think DH is of the opinion of waiting for her to file figuring she would hire a lawyer in order to do it.  We just got all of the paperwork settled in June '10 and it cost us more than we're willing to spend to change it again.

SS will be 18 in November, but CS is until 19 or graduates from HS.  He should be graduating in May 2012, so it's only another year.

DH hasn't discussed any CS numbers.  (Currently, 110/wk is the order for SS with DH having custody of SD.) He only expressed that he wouldn't go by what she tells him.  It's either the last 6 paystubs or a note/letter from her employer for verification.

SD lived with BM for the first 14 years of her life, so she pretty much knows what she's getting in to unless BM convinced her that she's changed things.  She's been told that unless circumstances are dire, she will not be coming back to live at our house.  We put way too much time in effort into the whole process and bringing her down to let her just jump back and forth between households.  She'll have to stick it out for the last two years of highschool.

SD moved in with us in September of 09.  DH went through a lawyer and had official custody papers drawn up and filed in our state (MA).  DH has custody of SD16 and BM has custody of SS17.  There's a court order for CS on SS17.

BM moved to TX at the end of January 2010.  We flew SD out there in April '10 and SS here.  BM didn't have the money to fly them in the summer or SD at Christmas, so SD went almost a year without seeing her mother.  Two weeks ago, SD decided that she wants to move back in with BM.

SD's leaving this Sunday.  BM already bought the ticket.  DH knows SD's not going to change her mind, so he's letting her go without a fight.  We have an 18mo in the house to think about too.

Aside from the fact that SD won't have been in TX for six months, can MA hold jurisdiction as long as DH stays in MA???  Would BM have to file any/all paperwork here in our state? 

There is currently a child support order for SS through MA.  BM would have to officially file for and get change of custody in order to add SD to this correct? 

It was an agreed order based on a few factors and DH wanted to get it done without a huge amount of fuss.  DH doesn't plan on sending any CS for SD until custody has been officially changed and a new order established.  He's spent years taking BM's word on what she makes (~10K/year for the last 10 years) and now wants her official information before agreeing to anything.

Any input on the best course of action (or inaction) would be great!

Thanks,

wow, lots of familiar names even though I didn't post much.

SS moved with BM to TX 14 months ago and SD moved in with us 19 months ago.  SD has now decided to move to TX.

Congrats on the LO.  We have an 18mo son, and I'd much rather let SD go then have her being here affect LO.

Ok, so DH got a letter from DHS last night which turned out to be
them letting him now that his ex is now on welfare and any/all CS
needs to be sent to them. No credit will be given for money sent to
BM which is how DH has pretty much always paid.

The only court order on record is for DH to pay 70/wk and that's
from 2001. He was in school full time and working part time back
then.

DHS says that if he thinks he owes child support or there is an
order in place, then he needs to pay them directly. Should we go by
the most recent order or by what we have been paying her?

Another complication is that DH was let go from his job yesterday
and we had already set up a payment through online bill pay to send
CS out to his ex.   DH does not want to put a stop payment on the check, but may change his mind if he can get a call in to DHS today.


Do we let DHS calculate how much he should be paying? I'm sure they'll be looking to do an increase from the last court order.

Things can be so complicated.

Nik

thanks kitty and cathy!!!!

lol, SO will really start to wonder if I start taking prenatal vitamins.

I do seem to remember having low iron at some point, so that could very well be it.  I've been thinking about starting up on the vitamins.  Might as well go with the prenatals since we'll be thinking about having kids in a couple years.  It won't hurt me to get a head start.

Nik

Hello,

I always feel like I have a low energy level.....tired and such.  I'm not sure where to lay blame for it though.  I had my thyroid out in 2001, but my synthroid levels were fine in April.  (felt tired then too.)  What does RBC and hematocrit check?


Nik

I had an underbite and actually underwent surgery for it.  However, my parents were told from the time that I was two, that it would eventually require surgery as my lower jaw had grown faster than the upper.  I had braces all through highschool.  I had the surgery to move my jaw the summer before my senior year of highschool and one surgery thereafter to fix something else that had occured after my braces came off.  So, this was all done within a space of a year.  Incidentally, they also took out my top to wisdom teeth during the first surgery and then the bottom ones during the second surgery so they killed a couple birds with two stones.

I would see if a dental surgeon may have a second opinion as i went to an oral/maxillofacial surgeon to assess my condition.

The mother took the child and has been hidden for months, so TPK hasn't had an opportunity to take the child and do anything as of yet.

Thanks for all the opinions/advice......

As she doesn't live with us full time, I'd be leery of just going out and getting something that she's going to take home to BM's house.  If it was something that BM wanted to do with her, then I wouldn't want to spoil that for her.

At the time, I didn't think to ask her if she had discussed it with her mother or if it was something that she'd rather not discuss with her mother.  So, I don't plan on making a move until I know which is the case.  My overall impression is that it's probably something that she may not want to discuss with or ask her mother.  SS (11 yo) says that he has a girlfriend, but he'd never bring her home because BM would make fun/tease him.  The birds and bees talk also got pawned off to SO as well.

I've been thinking about it the last few days and am very happy with the thought that she trusts/is comfortable enough with me to ask that question and I plan on encouraging it.  I was just caught off guard and don't think well on my feet.  I'm more of an after the fact thinker, so now I have plenty of time to think since SD won't be back until Feb 5.

:0) Nik

So........what's a good age for a girl to start wearing a training
bra?

Just wondering what everyone's opinions were because soon to be SD
(10 yo in about 6 weeks) asked me over the weekend if I thought that
she should start wearing one. Then, went on to say that the girls
in her bunk at summer camp were wearing them. Let me say that I'm a
bad "on the spot" thinker and responder. So my reply was "it
wouldn't hurt."

I'm not exactly sure where the question came from. We were just
hanging out and the boys (daddy and SS) were in the other room
playing games on the computers. She had been looking through the
wedding magazines that I had hanging about and we had gone to get
her measured for her jr. bridesmaid dress earlier that day.

So I get to thinking yesterday that I should've asked her if she had
asked her mother that same question. I'm not mom so I don't plan on
getting into anything like that if her mother doesn't know
beforehand.

lol.....so I just thought I'd throw this out there.

:0) Nik