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Messages - charlie967

#1
They have agreed on the following:
One week with one parent, one week with the other parent.  The parent they are with during their week is responsible for 100% of whatever is involved for that week.  No child support, no spousal support.  They are going to keep them on their health insurance the way it is now.  One has one child on their insurance and the other parent carries the other child.  They both work for the state and pay the same amount of insurance so nothing will be due the other parent.  Each Wed the children will spend 2 hours with the parent who doesn't have them for that week.  I don't think they are using any type of standard form.  They went to the attorney and told them this is what we agree on and it is being done that way and presented to the judge.  I haven't seen the paperwork yet but I will get after it is finished.  I don't like in the same county as they do.  Since both parties agreed to the same thing and they are not fighting over anything w/the kids or the financial part, it should go smooth.  But you never know how it will be.  At this point they are in agreement.
#2
They are wanting joint custody - true joint custody -  with the children are with one parent for one week and then the other for the other.  Not the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend.  So in that type of situation is there a CP?  I don't see how since they are both sharing equal time, equal decisions etc..  This is where I get confused.  I understand what joint managing cons. w/a CP and NCP is.  I have that in my situation but their's is totally different than mine.  Does that make any sense?

They are in DeWitt County.
#3
My best friend and her husband just started the divorce process. They are in Texas and I posted this on the TX board too. They have been living together for 16 years - 10 of those years married.  They have two girls both 8 & 10.  She filed for divorce a couple of years ago - no fault -  and then he begged and pleaded for another chance and she wanted to make it work so she said yes.  They both have contributed to what led up to the divorce.  They have already agreed on who would get what, how the bills would be split(they were already financially divorced since he kept the money separate...he had her account, she had hers.  His vehicle was in his name hers in hers), they want joint custody - one week w/one parent, one w/the other, 2 hr visit on Wed for the parent who doesn't have the week, he will pay her $$ from the house - she said he didn't have to pay it all at once....she is letting him pay her over a 6 year period (not sure I think that is the best idea but hey it's not my divorce!!), no child support, no spousal support and they are not fighting over their retirement.  They keep their own. I'm trying to help her w/some questions and answers for her and for her to ask when she goes to sign the paperwork.  She has not hired an attorney (bad move) because they are trying to keep it easy and cheap.  He has one. So here are my questions.

1.  Should the paperwork state "Joint Custody" or "Joint Managing Conservatorship"?  I have the later w/my son but it is not every week.  It's the 1st, 3rd, and 5th etc.... I looked up the Texas Family Code and it gets to be a little confusing on that.  It does state elsewhere that they share equal rights but it doesn't spell out the equal rights like who has the exclusive right to do this etc....I didn't think in joint custody that was necessary.  

2.  Since they both have different addresses, what address do they use as the primary address for the kids?  They have a post office, well he does now.  Can that work?

3.  If one of them is in another relationship, can that hurt the case? I don't think the other one would bring it up in court but say they did and could prove it....what could happen?  Legally?  Remember it was filed as no fault.

4.  What would happen if he died before the $$ to her was paid off?

Just curious what others think.  I've already told her what I thought but I don't know if what I told her was right or not.  It's hard because both of them are mine and my husband's friends.  She is my best friend and I have known her most all my life.  It's hard when one asks why didn't you tell me this or that.  So I'm trying best to stay out of that and just give whatever advice I can.

Thanks everyone.
#4
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Criminal?
Apr 26, 2006, 09:11:41 PM
I don't post often but I am on the boards reading everyday and Soc's board is where I come first.  Why?  Because he is honest, straightforth and gives FREE advice.  It may not be all warm and fuzzy and make you feel good inside but it's better that you hear him tell you like it is than walk into court and hear it from a judge or from your attorney and oh by the way, here is your HUGE bill.  Soc gives his expert advice if you ask and that is a huge service to anyone who takes advantage of it.  His sense of humor may not be to your liking but he has made me chuckle more times than my attorney every has!!  Keep up the good work Soc.  
#5
I'm the CP and he is the NCP w/EOW - standard Friday and Saturday nights.  He doesn't exercise the weekly time anymore..not sure why.  He just said he wasn't going to do it anymore. There are a few other issues with one that really bothers me and that is not giving him the medicine that the dr has prescribed even when I had the doctor write out a note explaining why and when.  The others seem petty - like issues w/clothes, not knowing if he really has a room over there or not and him being questioned about everything that goes on here etc, child support not being on time, not keeping up w/his end of the deal w/insurance (I have primary and he has secondary but he NEVER sends the EOBS to me or follows up.), and changing BS's name on his insurance and benefits at work to something other than what the order order states.  I know I have to pick my battles and I'm trying to figure out if this is a battle or just something I need to get over.  I don't want to stir the waters.  We haven't been to court in 3 years and it seems like everytime we get through w/court there is always that weird period afterwards.  KWIM?  Anyway, this got long sorry about that and thanks again for the advice.  It helps to have an outsiders view.
#6
Thanks for the info and where to go to find out.

BS told me that he does not have a room or even a place to put his clothes when he goes to his father's house.  I asked where he sleeps and he said on the couch or on the floor in the living room.  I asked how many bedrooms and he said they have 3.  One for the adults, one for his half sister and one that is a playroom/nursery for the new baby.  I asked where does he put his clothes and he said they go in the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom...I thought that was cute because when they are dirty they go there.  But he said no on a shelf in the bathroom.  

Just curious what to do and how to go about it.  I don't want to make a big deal about it all by itself.  I would think a judge would think I was being petty if I went to court over this alone but didn't know what BS's rights were on this.

Thanks again!!
#7
I'm reading a lot where people say that either the NCP or CP doesn't have a room for the child at their house and they(kids) have to  sleep on the couch or floor etc...  does this have to be stated in the court order for it to be enforced or is it even an issue to be brought up?  

Thanks.
#8
General Issues / A few divorce/custody questions
Feb 06, 2006, 05:24:35 PM
My best friend and her husband just started the divorce process. They are in Texas and I posted this on the TX board too. They have been living together for 16 years - 10 of those years married.  They have two girls both 8 & 10.  She filed for divorce a couple of years ago - no fault -  and then he begged and pleaded for another chance and she wanted to make it work so she said yes.  They both have contributed to what led up to the divorce.  They have already agreed on who would get what, how the bills would be split(they were already financially divorced since he kept the money separate...he had her account, she had hers.  His vehicle was in his name hers in hers), they want joint custody - one week w/one parent, one w/the other, 2 hr visit on Wed for the parent who doesn't have the week, he will pay her $$ from the house - she said he didn't have to pay it all at once....she is letting him pay her over a 6 year period (not sure I think that is the best idea but hey it's not my divorce!!), no child support, no spousal support and they are not fighting over their retirement.  They keep their own. I'm trying to help her w/some questions and answers for her and for her to ask when she goes to sign the paperwork.  She has not hired an attorney (bad move) because they are trying to keep it easy and cheap.  He has one. So here are my questions.

1.  Should the paperwork state "Joint Custody" or "Joint Managing Conservatorship"?  I have the later w/my son but it is not every week.  It's the 1st, 3rd, and 5th etc.... I looked up the Texas Family Code and it gets to be a little confusing on that.  It does state elsewhere that they share equal rights but it doesn't spell out the equal rights like who has the exclusive right to do this etc....I didn't think in joint custody that was necessary.  

2.  Since they both have different addresses, what address do they use as the primary address for the kids?  They have a post office, well he does now.  Can that work?

3.  If one of them is in another relationship, can that hurt the case? I don't think the other one would bring it up in court but say they did and could prove it....what could happen?  Legally?  Remember it was filed as no fault.

4.  What would happen if he died before the $$ to her was paid off?

Just curious what others think.  I've already told her what I thought but I don't know if what I told her was right or not.  It's hard because both of them are mine and my husband's friends.  She is my best friend and I have known her most all my life.  It's hard when one asks why didn't you tell me this or that.  So I'm trying best to stay out of that and just give whatever advice I can.

Thanks everyone.
#9
General Issues / RE: As NCP's
Jan 08, 2006, 01:11:46 PM
Thank you for your view on it.  I would be concerned if my child was being giving meds for ADHD and would seek a 2nd opinion also whether I was the CP or NCP.  I think a lot of dr's and parents are quick to say or their behavior is because of ADHD so let's prescribe this.  Sometimes it is and sometimes it seems to be an easy fix.  KWIM?  I'm sorry your SS BM is like she is.  I have never threatened BF or his girlfriend and I would never withhold visitation.  It's wrong and doesn't benefit anyone.  She sounds like she is an unconcerned mother and gives CPs a bad name.  

As far as my situation, this is what I did.  I asked why it wasn't given and he said because he didn't need it.  I explained again that it was preventive and that he has to take it and told him I would have the doctor forward a letter to him as well.  And he takes his other child to the same pedi so I know that he trusts the dr.  In my situation him not giving the meds is his way of being in control.  From day one he has thought that children do not need meds and even brought it up in court when we established orders.  My son's doctor was a witness and all it did was make him look like an irresponsible parent for not giving the prescription meds.  He sounded like he understood when I spoke with him and we'll see if he gave them or not at drop off today.  It's pretty simple, give the medicine or he will get sick and miss school.  BF knows our son is treated very well and doesn't worry about his health.  He just doesn't believe in meds.  I guess it's just like some people who don't believe in vaccinating their kids.  It's just his personal belief.  Anyway, thanks again for your view and I hope you don't think I'm being rude back in my response.  

I'll try the alarm w/DS and see how that goes if he didn't give the meds this weekend. Thanks again.

#10
My son goes EOW w/BF.  I've sent his medicine w/instuctions written down so he would know when to give them.  I told him on the phone, in person and through email that he has to take them.  During this time of the year my son and my daughter (w/my husband) both have seasonal allergies that will turn into colds etc....their peditrician prescribed a few meds this year and said they have to take them through the season so they don't end up w/a bad cold or worse. Before I would treat w/OTC allergy meds but for DS it wouldn't work -  Everytime DS comes back from EOW he has a runny nose or cough.  So I have explained over the phone, in person and through email about the meds.  The past 2 times I counted the pills before he leaves and when he comes back the exact amount is in there. My DS is 5 and the first thing he tells me is that BF didn't give him his meds.  He said he told them that he has to take them and he said BF told him he didn't need them.  I'm just curious what I should do next? Do I get a note from the pedi and saying yes he needs to take them or do I just email him and ask why he isn't giving the meds.  Just curious what you think would work.  I really don't want to have to get my attorney to send his a letter saying....give the meds.  

Thanks.