Messages

Soc,

I go to court next week for motion against my ex.  Daughter found a camera in the bathroom at her fathers house and we are seeking a change in visitation.  

The detective that investigated did not find evidence therefore there was nothing that they could do.  Protective services could do nothing as they did not have any evidence.  Which basically now it is my daughters word against her dads.  The counselor is on our side, the detective said that he believed my daughter but there was no evidence.  The protective servicces worker said she believes my daughter but there is no evidece.

Will be calling the detective, protective services worker and the counselor into court as witnesses.  

1)  What questions would you recommend that be asked of these witnesses?  

Soc,

Went to court today as the judge decided to combine the show cause for contempt and my motion to suspend visitation at the same time.

Judge dismissed the show cause for contempt!!

My kids wrote letters to the judge and my daughters counselor wrote a letter to the judge as well and has been working with the Friend of The Court Investigator.  The counselor actually called up the court evaluator and left her a message informing her that she did not feel that my kids were being coached in anyway.  We will definitely supoena her for the hearing as well as the detective, and the child protective services worker.  

My attorney met with my ex's attorney in chambers with judge and addressed issues.   My attorney says judge said for one that we are not dealing with little babies here as my children are 15 and 16.  

The judge said that due to the allegations (which have not been proven as there is no evidence but her word) my daughter does not have to go back at this time.
The judge said our court evaluator is to talk with my son and then it will be up to her whether son has to continue visitation depending on his wishes at this time.  
My understanding at this point is that the court evaluator will be doing an investigation and making a recommendation to the court for our hearing which is to be scheduled.  

The judge did not read the letters yet (as far as we know) nor did he listen to the (3) tape recordings that my ex has of my kids conversations.  

Attorney seems to be quite confident in talking with judge, court evaluator and the counselor that the kids  will be given a choice in their visitation due to the cirucmstances and their ages.

Just wanted to update you on what has happened today.  I appreciate all the advice you have given me.  This isn't over yet but atleast we are getting somewhere.  

Thoughts, suggestions, questions or ideas please feel free.

We originally filed motion to suspend visitation pending the investigation by cps however the investigation closed yesterday.  The cps worker did state that she would include in her report that she believes my daughter however there is no evidence to substantiate.  

The detective told cps worker that he believed my daughter just there was no evidence.  He also said that there was a place cleared off where the camera was probably setting just as my daughter said.  

My daughters counselor talked with our court evaluator yesterday and the counselor is under the assumption that after the hearings next week our case will be referred to the Friend Of The Court for investigation and then my kids will be able to speak with the Court Evaluator.  
I go to court Thurs for Show Cause for Denial or parenting time and then Friday for Motion to suspend Visitation.  

1. Being that the motion to suspend visitation is already scheduled, do we need to ammend that since the investigation by cps is over and they are closing the case?

2.  Regarding the tape recording, the counselor stated that she would write a statement saying that my daughther does not seem to be coached in anyway.  

3.  Any suggestions as to where to go from here?

Thanks so much.  

Sorry Soc,

Situation was daughter was visiting her dad and found a camera in the bathroom.  We reported it, police investigated, didn't find anything they could use.  Detective referred to Child Protective Services.  CPS investigated and now are closing the case as there is not enough evidence.  Both CPS and the detective belive my daughter but they just don't have the evidence they need to do anything.

CPS said that my ex has a tape recording of my daughter saying that mom has a plan when when I am 15 and I dont want to go along with it.
  Sounds as if he is tyring to make it out like I set daughter up to saying the stuff about the camera.  

Talked with daughter about it and she said that she did say one time when she was mad at them that she was fed up and she wasn't going back over there and that mom said she could talk to the court about her being around the age of my cousin when dad went to jail.  

I do remember having a conversation with my current husband one time when I was discussing with him my concerns about my daugher growing up, maturing, basically turning into a woman and how I was concerned as my ex has been in trouble (convicted of CSC 3rd degree) in the past and his wife was quite young when they got together.  Not only that but also discussed how I should have presented this information to the court so something could be done about it at the original time of divorce.  Kids overheard conversation and asked about it and I just explained that I was concerned as daugher is growing up, not that their dad would do anything but I do have concerns and want toi protect my children.  Explained to the kids to always protect themselves and don't be afraid to talk to anyone if there is concerns as I and the courts will do what is necessary to protect them.  

Concerned as to how this tape can affect us or if it will be a problem.  I NEVER ever had a plan to do anything and I think he is trying to make it look like I set my daughter up to this whole camera scheme which I had nothing to do with.  I don't want to get into trouble or be made out to be the bad guy here, I think the information my daughter presented to them when she was angry with them was misconstrued.  Besides which, the kids both said they didn't know they were being taped either.

1.  CPS can't do anything as there is no evidence but I still have to protect my daughter, what can I do?

2.  Regarding the tape, what are your thoughts on the tape?  

3.  Can the tape be used for anything regarding this matter?  (I think Michigan is a 2 party state)

4.  If so, what should we do in regards to the tape?

5.  Any other thoughts, suggestions, ideas.  

Thanks soc,

Talked with protective services today and based on the information that was given to her by my daughter and son she believes she will at the least be able to open a case and perp the ncp.  Put him on the registry.
She also said that she would be contacting my Friend Of The Court Worker and asking her to get an order or something so that they can speak to each other in more detail about the case.  

Hired an attorney today to file motion to susupend visitation.  

In addition, my daughter specified that the only adult in the home at the time of this incident was the ncp.  The ncp used the bathroom before my daughter took her shower and after she took her shower.  

I like the idea of polygraph but I don't see him doing that.  

Thanks so much for your input.  I really appreciate it.  You have a wonderful site here.  

Soc,

Son says he isn't afraid of his dad, afraid of the others in the home.  He is also not particularly thrilled about the camera being in the bathroom.

Daughter says she can't even go to the bathroom without worrying that there's a camera around.

Does that all fit under being afraid of the ncp?

Daughter come home friday claiming she found a camera in the bathroom at the ncp's house after she got out of the shower.  She turned the camera and shut the curtain that it was peaking out of.  She said that she went to show her brother the camera when the ncp immediately said he needed to use the bathroom.  When she went back in to show her brother the camera it was gone.  This was Monday a week ago.  Kids are with the ncp during 1st half of summer so she didn't get a chance to tell me until Friday.  We immediately contacted the police.  they do an investigation and search but do not come up with any proof.  The detective informs me that it doesn't necessarily mean that it didn't happen just there is no proof to do anything further.  Being that it had been a week and my daughter moved the camera the person who planted the camera knew they were busted and probably got rid of it.  

My 15 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son do not want to go back to that home.  They were supposed to go back Sunday night but refused to and I didn't force them as the investigation was going on and the deputy told us not to tell the ncp what was going on.  My ex has a previous conviction of CSC 3rd degree with a 15 yr old.  I am very worried for my children and I believe my daughter 100%.  

1)  What can I do to protect my children from that environment?
2)  15 yr old and 16 yr old are stating they do not want to go back and I cannot physically pick them up and make them, how do I handle that?
3)  Any suggestions helpful.

Thanks in advance.

16 yr old son had STAR program yesterday.

When son notified me about the program and explained he needed to deal with his dad on it because it fell during his time.  ( I have been told numerous times to take myself out of the equation with out son being 16 and allow him to deal with dad)

Son talked with his dad about program 3 weeks ago and dad told him he could attend the program.

Son attended program yesterday and the teacher informed him that his dad had called and said he would not be attending the program.  Not only that but dad drove right past the school after picking up our daughter knowing that is where our son was at for the program and could have easily stopped and picked him up if the visitation was that big of a deal and he wasn't playing games.

I then called my ex and he claims he never told our son he could attend however both my children claim that he did.  

Have an order which specifies kids can be in extracurriculars and ex gets make up time on his alternate Sunday till 8:00

I feel ex is going to file contempt because our son attended his star program.

1) Is it likely that I will be at fault for this?

2) Is it reasonable to allow 16 yr old to deal with dad on the issues that interfere with his parenting time?

3) If son and his dad make an agreement how is the best way to handle that so that ex can't change his story and try and hold me in contempt after agreeing to something with our son?

Thanks in advance

16 yr old wrote this:

I would like the parenting plan to stay the same except a few minor things.  I would like to be allowed to participate in after school activiites and sports without a fight between mom and dad and myself.  I would also like to be able to have a part time job that my father cannot stop me from going to.  The third and final thing that I would like to see is that I would like to visit my father at my grandma and granpa's house.

One reason I would like to see these changes is that when I am at my fathers house my sister and I experience alot of verbal abuse and also the degration of our family schools and town.  My fathers family in the house we stay in treat us like they don't even want us in their home.  My sister is called names such as stupid, dum and fat, mean thief and other names related to her body and her behavior.  They tease me because I weight more than my father.  They say how our schools are the worst around and that our teachers and principals should be fired because they aren't smart enough or strict enough.  They really make me mad because they degrate my family and say things about my granparents on moms side and say mean things about my mom.  I would like to choose the days that I see my father with the changes that I have listed above.

Have a similar letter from daughter 15 yr old.

1.  Would this have any bearing in court?  

2.  Any suggestions as to what to do with this letter?