Messages

>when he said:
>
>>So you're not gonna get any mileage from
>a 13 and 11 year old child's testimony, without an expert to
>back it up.
>
greetings mixedbag,

     I understand what was said. My question is simply "HOW" do I go about motioning for the expert eval. and such? Like I said before I am in a different state from where my children reside. Also the city of Baltimore(where they reside) it says that its 10-12 years of age with an expert eval. I don't want to go to "war" again, without finding and filling all the loop holes. On another thread, I read about a "730 Evaluation"   . Is that also an option? These are just some questions I have. PROTOCOL is key. I know you know what I mean mixed bag...

twalk1216  

Socrateaser,

 Thank you for your advice......the comparison of the lonely infantry soldier and the nuclear device is spot on!

  Well since you've enlightened me with the statement of the age and maturtity of the children, Baltimore has an age of 10-12 for preference. I am asking now, what would the next step in moving forward in this tasking?

thanks again......tw1216

Greetings Socrateaser,

      I want to thank you for having the time to assist with all concerned parents and their issues.
     
      My issue is clear cut and dry. I was divorce in april '04 after being legally separated for 8 years, divorce proceedings(in Baltimore) happened while I was in Iraq(prior military). I have talked to attorneys before about the possibilities of custody of my two children(13,11) and they told me that I wouldn't have a chance. The simple fact is that I was single (up until Jan. '05) and with the war in Iraq, the possibilities of  deployment are high and  the relocation of the children would be an issue. Now that I have gotten out, I wish to challenge my ex for custody of our children.
       
     My children have told me repeatedly that they want to come to live with me. The only stipualtion is that I live in Washington state. In our divorce decree we have joint custody, with her being the custodial parent, visiting this christmas was an agreement that was made, that is ,up until the 19th of Dec. which now she doesn't want to do. Also with the child support set, she doesn't work(hasn't for all her adult life, and she's 30.) So I had to pay for the Tickets plus pay child support for the month. She told me that I need to send the childrens' Xmas gifts so they can have a "Xmas". I refuse to do this cause in recent years she has a habit of pawning things. For times of visitation, I meet the children in clothing that I didn't buy them(not that I'm the only one that does, perhaps it seems that way).  My daughter tells me that she sells them of gives them away. For years she has held the children over my head and now this incident has caused me to become very assertive in pursuit of my children....have any advice to help me end this nightmare?????

thanks again.......twalk1216

hello there.....

 I understand your concern, I myself was in the military for 13 years(army) I fought for custody many times, but kept losing for the simple fact that I was single(at the time) and in the military. The possibilities of deployment, training/field etc., were always the force used against me. I had to make a decision to either suffer through the remaining 7 years without my kids or get out and find a job with time enough to enjoy my children...you see my kids are older 13,11. so now they can tell the judge who they prefer. but in your case, talk to an attorney and ask him about that. (stabilization is crucial in the decision). Good luck in all your endeavors.
tw1216  

Greetings,
     
      I would like to take this time to thank each and every one of you for sharing your woes and concerns for your chlid(rens) future. I am new to the forum and I am just looking for a light at the end of the tunnel.

       I have two children from a previous marriage(13,11). I served in the US Army for 13 years, pretty much my daughter's entire life. and marrying her mother right out of high school was just the option I thought was best at the time. I'm originally from Philadelphia, and I've always seen kids that I grew up with not having both parents around. I didn't want that to be my case...... Having been all around the world and to many different campaigns, my ex wife thought it would be fine to find a "replacement" for me while I was away. this happened about 10 years ago.  She had just had my son whose now 11, and at the time we lived in Texas, While on deployment she picks up and moves  to Maryland, and for 2 years I could not find where she was. She would call when she needed money and things. But to see the children it was impossible.  I had called CPS to have them search for my children., Police etc. and they kept asking me what did I want them to do about it, this was in '97.

In '98 I found out where they were. I went to this run down apartment and took them. No questions.....just took them. I was living in Germany at the time. We agreed a few weeks later that it was best for the children that they stayed with me. Now a year or so of not hearing from her, I have a knock on my door, and its the MP(military police) and my commanding officer there to arrest me on kidnapping. And at the time we were still married, but legally separated. Now again, the children go back to their mother and I have to explain myself repeatedly to my commander about the situation. So in a nut shell, all of 2004 I was at war in Iraq, the filing of Divorce was immediate, I didn't get the paperwork to sign, because I was to contest the custody of my children. When I called to check the date of the proceedings, they had told me that they had not heard from me since the filing and that it was an "absolute" and that it would be no way that the courts would award custody to me because I was in the military. I now live in Washington state with my wife and daughter. It was agreed in the decree that we have joint custody of our two children and that this year I would have "no questioned" visitation rights. The kids have always told me that they want to live with me, and their mother said that if they keeping saying that, they would never see me again, which scares me because it has happened before.

The evidence is clear who the fitter parent is. My wife and I both work, we have a home large enough for two families and it is not like the area I and my ex-wife grew up in.  She has no job she has never worked since the kids have been alive, and is  on public assistance, section 8  housing etc.  It's not that she doesn't work she's just lazy and doesn't want to. She feels like everyone owes her something. Anyway's I bought two tickets for my children to fly out for christmas, she agreed. this was the first week in December. on friday the 16th (which was my 32nd birthday) she calls me and tells me that they are not coming. This completely destroys all that I have worked on. I didn't to get mean with this woman, I figured I'd cut my losses and the custody would have to work itself out some how(she just can't handle them or whatever) My son told me yesterday that all the things that I bought them over the years she pawned. All electronics, she sold the clothes I bought them (this past Easter about $1600 worth). Every time I've got a chance to see them they are int worst clothing I've seen. She buys their clothing from the good will store and spends the rest on the drug habit she denies has. My children tell me everything, Also they are in desparate need to go to the dentist. but she has the nerve to tell my children that I don't love them. She talks bad about me. especially when I buy them things. She tells me I make her out  to be the bad guy. I guess the truth hurts sometimes.

 I am now in the process of filling for custody to be the custodial parent. But I am filing out of state, does anyone think that I have a chance or can offer some advice? Sorry it was so long, I haven't vented like this in years. Best of luck to all who a fight on their hands, I pray your outcome will be just and fair.

thanks again.....tw1216