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I am not interfering with visits at all, as I have said, so she need not feel threatened by him.  It is true that she has no legal obligation to let him see the baby, but she claims to be a devout Christian, and she made a promise to the father to permit him to see his child.  I don't think promises should be so easily flung away.  My boyfriend is currently consulting with a lawyer to get legal custody of his daughter, not to mention unsupervised visitation.  She has no problem with him being at her house left alone with the baby when it's to her advantage (she wants to go to some even), but with any other scenario, she finds it problematic.  That simply doesn't make sense.

I don't really think that I am a key problem in this issue.  After being too depressed for several months and not having enough money for it, my boyfriend finally got the nerve and opportunity to consult with a lawyer.  Please understand that what I have said to him about seeing a lawyer is very limited, and his parents have said a lot on the issue, but ultimately, he's been wanting to see a lawyer since before the baby was born.  His ex just had him too depressed, and at the time, he didn't have the right amount of "lawyer money."  The first step he will be taking is to have the lawyer send his ex a letter asking for the amount of visitation he wants.  All she has to do is sign the letter and send it back.  My boyfriend believes this is going to create some tension, because she won't agree to it, but it's the first step he is able to take, as he is completely unhappy going to his ex's house to see his daughter.  He wants to have his own time with her, and even being in that house makes him depressed.  
I am not a subject that even gets discussed with his ex unless she brings it up, then my boyfriend tries to change the topic, as obviously it really is none of her business.  I have never met her, and I haven't met my boyfriend's daughter either.  I think it will be quite some time before I am able (if ever) to do so.  I can certainly understand how his ex would be emotional...but in a very real sense, she should be over any feelings of jealousy she might have had.  As I said, when their daughter was conceived, it was a fling...they had broken up six months previously.  At the time, she cared nothing for him, and all throughout her pregnancy, she made that very clear.  Prior to even conceiving a child, she claimed she couldn't use birth control and didn't want my boyfriend to use condoms, and because of that stupidity (on both of their parts) they put themselves at risk.  My boyfriend believes she wanted to have a baby in the first place...as I mentioned before, she is very controlling, and that would definitely give her something she craved.  He has obviously seen more of her personality than I have, but even he admits that she has a sickly malicious desire to control other people.  He says her mother is like that to.  And statistics show that daughters raised in such family's tend to keep that personality type...does that mean that my boyfriend's daughter will grow up to meet the same fate as her mother?  

I'm in Georgia, where, supposedly, custody is determined with the best interests of the child in mind.  My BF has his initial consultation with a lawyer on Tuesday (finally).  He has been asking the BM through email repeatedly if he can take his daughter out on a walk or something, and so has documentation of that and her refusing.  In fact, the last time he visited, the BM agreed to let him take their daughter on a walk by himself!  Then, an hour later, she took him aside and said she actually couldn't let him do that, as it would be setting a "precedent."  I guess she's got something bad in mind.

Thanks for all of your advice...does anyone have a suggestion as to how my BF might be able to have visitation with his daughter outside of his ex's home?  She will most likely argue if he asks her, and she always has to be right (even if she's wrong).  And I know it would be horrible to even just take his daughter to the park without asking permission, as she might freak out and claim he kidnapped her or something.  How do you convince an irrational person that their method of visitation is no good?  It seems like either way, he'll encounter some sort of chaos.  :(

I'm trying to push him to get a lawyer, and he knows he needs to, but I think that his dealing with his ex has him so down that he doesn't want to think about it, much less talk with a lawyer about it.  :(  I told him to take a pocket tape recorder so he can record her going nuts next time...it's much better to have hard evidence.

As I said, he only gets to visit his daughter every other weekend, and on top of that, it's an hour and a half away.  So he is only able to visit by staying at his ex's house throughout that day.  I think I mentioned that she won't let him take their daughter anywhere unsupervised...he asked to take her to the park with his parents, and she flatly refused, then said only if she went along.  We can't figure out how he can get his daughter out of that house for even part of the day without his ex freaking out, so clearly something has to be done, as she is obviously battling for control, and she only feels she has it if he's in her "territory."

Hi...this is my first post here, and it's actually not for me, it's for my boyfriend, so please be kind.  :)

He has a daughter with his ex-girlfriend that is currently 10 months old.  He pays his ex child support each month, plus he pays for all of the child's medical/care bills.  He and his ex have no formal agreement of custody; prior to the baby's birth, they agreed that he would have the child every other weekend, and for a certain number of weeks during the summer.  He wanted full custody at the time, but that was all his ex would agree to.  Once the baby was born, however, his ex changed her mind and said she didn't want him taking the baby for overnight stays until after she turned one.  So, he was visiting the baby every weekend...until his ex started lashing out and yelling at him all of the time, and she eventually said she only wanted him to visit every other weekend.  That is the schedule he keeps now.  His ex is going to school full-time, and she lives with her mother, with the baby staying in her room (even though there is an extra room in the house that the baby could use).  My boyfriend and I share a 2-bedroom apartment with my brother, and we both work full-time (I don't know if that makes any difference).  He has been planning to see a lawyer for a while, but I don't think he's quite sure where to start, and he has absolutely no confidence in succeeding in court against his ex...he knows from experience that she has no problem lying to her advantage, under oath or not.  She and her mother (her whole family, actually) are very manipulative, controlling people, and they will do or say anything to get their way.  Her most recent episode occurred last weekend, and this prompted my boyfriend to start writing things down when situations like this occur:
His daughter had just woken up from a nap, and he was feeding her in the kitchen.  His ex came into the room and asked him if he was hungry, to which he responded that he was, so she started to take some leftovers out of the refrigerator.  In the process, she said, very nonchalantly, "So, you and [girlfriend- me] have been dating for six months now, right?"
He didn't want to say anything that might anger her, so he just said, "I think it's been a little over six months, yes."
His ex then asked, "Do you love her?"
He thought that was none of her business, as obviously they're not involved, and have not been for quite sometime.  They weren't even dating when the baby was conceived...it was just a fling.  He told her that he thought the question was inappropriate, but she just persisted, asking if he planned to marry me, then demanding to know why he wouldn't answer her.  He just kept saying that he didn't think those questions were appropriate, and that she shouldn't be acting that way in front of the baby.  Eventually, she started cursing at him, then screamed about how she had full custody because she's the mother, and she could tell him when he could see the baby and couldn't.  He didn't say anything to challenge her...he just kept repeating that the baby shouldn't hear that, and that it was inappropriate.  She also commented how it was immoral for him to be living with me (ha!).  After she had finished, the baby started crying.  His ex claimed it was just "because she missed her mommy," and took the baby from him, but that did nothing to calm her down.  My boyfriend had to spend a long time afterwards trying to comfort the baby, and his ex didn't really seem to think it was her fault.  Later, she even made mention of "their fight," to him in a mocking way, and he wondered how she would consider her shouting at him a fight.  Needless to say, that situation is a small example of how she's acted in the past.  My concern is that the baby is young now, and is clearly getting upset...what happens when her father isn't there?  And what about when the baby is older...will my boyfriend's ex "contaminate" their daughter with all of this hatred and need for control, pitting her against her own father?  If she shows no remorse for upsetting the child, it seems like a horrible environment for someone to grow up in.  My boyfriend claims his ex is crazy, and says a psychological test would very clearly show that, so he is considering speaking to a lawyer about that...still...what if his ex just lies on the test?  At the point things are now, he can't even take his baby to the park without his ex making a fuss...she refuses to let him go unless she accompanies him.  
I have a feeling that nobody wants to read this much, so i'll omit further details, but if anyone has some advice, please help!  My boyfriend is very depressed and hates to think about how horrible the situation is because of his ex, and he (and I, and his family, etc.) is very considered about how his daughter will be raised in that atmosphere.  I would be infinitely grateful for your help.