Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will be taking all this under consideration and greatly appreciate the input!
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Dear Socrateaser / Mediation and parenting plan questions
Apr 27, 2006, 07:21:52 AM
Hello. I am in California and have an 11 yr. old daughter. My ex and I have joint legal and I have primary physical cusody. He currently has every 2nd and 4th weekend and one overnight a week visitation. He wants to change to 50/50, every other week, visitation. He has asked me to go to mediation. For many reasons I am againt the 50/50 parenting plan idea at this time.
What is mediation? Is it binding? Who pays? What happens if I refuse to go?
Second, we have the Right of First Refusal and we have to give written permission to the other to take our daughter out of state. I want to take her to a weekend conference in an adjoining state. He is refusing. He says I should leave her with him due to the Right of First Refusal, even though it is my custody weekend. I am reluctant to do this as he is showing signs of being vindictive.
Recently, I asked him to trade his week day parenting night for another night during a specific week in May so my daughter can attend an awards ceremony where I have been nominated as employee of the year. He is angry with me as I have recently told him I am in a same sex relationship, so he has become vindictive and angry, and is refusing to allow her to go. He is calling questioning my sex life and other issues.
I am afraid if I leave her with him and go to the conference without her (which I have done in the past) that he will use it against me as I know he is gearing up to take me back to court. I am afraid he will use it to show how much more he cares for her even though I have given up quite a bit of my time in the last year for him to have her for his parents visiting and camping etc. Until I came out recently and he got a live-in girlfriend (which by the way, is in direct violation of our parenting agreement) we have co-parented very well and made changes frequently and easily.
If I don't go, I am afraid I am empowering him to control me and my actions in the future. Plus I am being honored at this conference so it will be hard for me to miss. I travel a few times a year for conferences so this will be an ongoing issue.
Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated.
What is mediation? Is it binding? Who pays? What happens if I refuse to go?
Second, we have the Right of First Refusal and we have to give written permission to the other to take our daughter out of state. I want to take her to a weekend conference in an adjoining state. He is refusing. He says I should leave her with him due to the Right of First Refusal, even though it is my custody weekend. I am reluctant to do this as he is showing signs of being vindictive.
Recently, I asked him to trade his week day parenting night for another night during a specific week in May so my daughter can attend an awards ceremony where I have been nominated as employee of the year. He is angry with me as I have recently told him I am in a same sex relationship, so he has become vindictive and angry, and is refusing to allow her to go. He is calling questioning my sex life and other issues.
I am afraid if I leave her with him and go to the conference without her (which I have done in the past) that he will use it against me as I know he is gearing up to take me back to court. I am afraid he will use it to show how much more he cares for her even though I have given up quite a bit of my time in the last year for him to have her for his parents visiting and camping etc. Until I came out recently and he got a live-in girlfriend (which by the way, is in direct violation of our parenting agreement) we have co-parented very well and made changes frequently and easily.
If I don't go, I am afraid I am empowering him to control me and my actions in the future. Plus I am being honored at this conference so it will be hard for me to miss. I travel a few times a year for conferences so this will be an ongoing issue.
Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated.
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