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Also, when I told one of the teachers that my kids were considered to be severely malnourished, based on their growth charts, she replied "Well, they eat their snack really wel!"  What kind of idiotic logic is that?!?!  Of course they eat their snack well...they're starving!!  When they're visiting with me they ask to eat every two hours, and they eat a lot!

Thanks, that's what I'll have to do.

>I thought teachers were mandatory reporters...

They are!!

>Why don't you call social services and ask them if you can
>have the information?

I wanted to know before I called if legally they had to give me the information.  I have made many reports to them in the past and they keep saying it doesn't rise to the level of an investigation.  (According to their State Statutes, it does!)

Have you talked to the fomer doctors? Do
>you have joint legal custody that allows them to talk to you?

In BM's State the courts don't grant joint custody unless the mother agrees, and of course she didn't.  I do have the legal right to all medical records.  And I do have copies. My attorney (a former pediatric nurse) and I both talked to one former Dr. on a regular basis for 2 years.  This Dr. had written in the kids' records that they were failing to thrive, falling off the growth chart, and having trouble maintaining their weight.  But she repeatedly refused to do any testing to find out the cause of the problem, and she repeatedly refused to recommend a second medical opinion.  Because of her uncooperativeness, and her lying under oath at a court hearing, I filed a complaint against her with the state medical licensing board.  As soon as they finished investigating her, she promptly moved about 3,000 moles away!

Since then, BM changed Drs several times, then stopped taking the kids to the Dr.

>Why did you not file for custody when they were so badly off?

I was told over and over again by many attorneys that I had a snowball's chance in Hell of getting custody of young children away from a mother in that particular State.  They said that she would practically have to murder one of the kids first.  So I spent two years and tens of thousands of dollars  in pointless mediation, trying to agree on a visitation plan.

Did you take them to a doctor? (S)he would have to report any
>concerns.

I have taken them to a pediatrician during their visits in my State many times.  She has expressed grave concerns, and has reported to social services in BM's state.  Nothing was done!

>I gotta know (and so would a judge) why this has gone on so
>long.

I am broke!  My family has helped as much as they can...they are now broke.  We are all still paying off past legal fees and court costs.

I have written to or sopken to everyone in BM's State whose job it is to protect children, and they all pass the buck, or just don't answer my letters...and yes, I have sent my kids' medical records and growth charts to everyone.  This particular State is extremely liberal, and mother-biased and the family courts are loaded with feminist judges.

I posted this on the father's board and didn't get a clear cut answer.  This is an important question!

Is it possible for me to find out whether social services has investigated my children's situation in BM's home? Do I have a legal right to know that?

There have been a few sudden, small improvements in my kids' health, grooming, and attire. But also the alienation seems to have really escalated, and there is talk of the family moving out of their state (escaping social services jurisdiction??) This move would be an extreme measure for them, for many reasons. But over the years BM has changed pediatricians several times, and finally stopped taking the kids for well child check ups 4 years ago...I think because the doctors were finally getting wise to the kids malnutrition issues.

A few years ago I talked briefly with the teachers about my kids severe underweight problem. As polite as I was...they were not happy to talk to me, and one said "I can't report these kids!" Because the kids have gotten even thinner since that time, I'm wondering if someone at the school did finally file a report with social services. And, of course, BM would assume the report came from me!!

Anyway, does the agency HAVE to tell me if they have investigated the situation?

Thanks for any help!!

Thanks!  NM

Dear Soc,

Our grandkids are severely malnourished and underweight, and have been for most of their lives.  

BM has diagnosed mental illness for which she refuses therapy or medication.  

We have witnessed neglect, verbal and emotional abuse of kids, and seen suspicious bruising on them several times.

For many reasons, our son has decided not to fight for custody.  We are furious with him and think he�s wrong!

My husband and I have spent as much time with the kids as our son has from the time they were newborns, and provided daycare while he was at work.

Kids are 700 miles away from their dad and us.

1.  What are the chances that my husband and I could get custody?

Thanks!
Kami

Call for Abstracts: Fatherhood and Child Welfare
 
The Children's Bureau funded American Humane and its partners, the American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law and the National Fatherhood Initiative, to create a quality improvement center to promote additional knowledge development regarding the engagement of non-resident fathers and their children in the child welfare system.

As part of this initiative, in 2009 American Humane will publish an issue of Protecting Children dedicated to fatherhood and child welfare, with the intent of advancing knowledge and practice in this area. Protecting Children is American Humane's quarterly peer-reviewed journal that uses a blind review process.

We are seeking abstracts that target various areas of fatherhood and child welfare, as listed in the Call for Papers.

Abstracts are due by Nov. 17, 2008. If your abstract is accepted, your full paper will be due March 5, 2009.

Download the Call for Papers, which contains instructions for submitting an abstract.

To learn more about American Humane, visit //www.americanhumane.org/ or contact us.

Kami

Years ago my kids BM suddenly started demanding that my time with the kids be in a supervised setting.  She said she was afraid I would kidnap the kids, etc.  This was ridiculous...if I was going to kidnap my kids, why would I have hired a lawyer?  Both our attorneys and the GAL went back and forth on this non-issue for about 3 months and meanwhile I wasn't getting any visitation.  Finally I agreed to supervised visitation just so I could see my kids!  (This was NOT court ordered supervision!)  About 15 minutes into the first visit, the supervisor said  that I had good parenting skills and that it was silly for me to have to be there.  She passed that recommendation on to everyone involved, my regular visitation resumed, and BM shut up.

You might want to ask your attorney if it would be a show of good faith for you to agree to the anger management classes.  This might provide you with someone who could vouch for the fact that you don't have anger issues.

Kami

Thanks for the website address.  I bookmarked it and will read the articles as soon as I get a chance.  The kids are definitely being alienated!!

Kami

Thanks again!

Kami