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WOW!!!!  How do I do that?  I thought I had to file and be in TX to do any of it.  Yes of course there is mail but I thought to file, you'd need a lawyer, etc.  I'm looking for "how to" do these things myself.  Do you know of websites or something that I can look at and read to gain info about?  You bet your sweet bippies that I'll do something if I can myself.  I am a capable person and feel that by mail I could definitely do it.

Thanks so much.

Q.

That sounds so easy.  Really easy.  But ...  1) I live in TN, so thus I would have to file in TX.  Would have to get to Texas to file. 2) Would have to hire lawyer to file for contempt.  See where my problem lies.  It all sounds so sweet and easy at times but when reality hits, you don't have money to fly down, to hire lawyer, to drive down, it gets a lot more complicated.  If my wife was finished with her education and working, we'd be able to do it, but she still has 1 year as undergrad then 3 in law school.  So by the time 4 years have passed, my daughter will be 16.  I'm NOT trying to be pessimistic although this posting may seem like it, or it may seem like I don't care.  It is SO FAR from the truth.  I care more than you could ever imagine or if you are in same situation, I care as much as you care.  I truly do.  But ... fate is against me.  Maybe it was meant for me to just walk away and pay my support and let my child be as she is.  I hate the idea but see little choice or options.

Thanks for the reply.  I truly, truly, TRULY appreciate it.  At least it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Take care

Q

Hi,

I'm new here but I can understand where you are coming from.  My daughter is in Texas and I live in TN.  Her mother is suppose to pay 1/2 the airfare etc but refuses and thus never sends my child out to see me.  She took me to court to gain that I pay all fares.  But I agreed only to Christmas and summer visits to pay all.  I regret doing that, because we have asked for my child to come out and she still won't send her, no matter what we say.  I do NOT have the money to pay all the fare.  It's not that I don't want to see my child but when you don't have the money, you don't.  She claims she never has it, but hey, 1/2 is better than nothing.  Thus she has been in contempt of court so many times although I've never filed because again, I don't have the money to do so.

Suggestions would be great.

Thanks

Q.

Soft Dad

Believe you me, I certainly can relate.  This was my second divorce, I lost my eldest children from the first marriage, even though I paid CS and all.  Now they are both in their 20's, I have grandchildren, (which I recently found out) and never knew.  Apparently too, my eldest daughter put her eldest child up for adoption, and I knew nothing about it.   It's so sad but I guess real love comes from letting them be and letting them go.  I pray one day they will come and talk to me.  I've sent out the olive branch, but there's been no reply.  As for my youngest, it looks like I'll have to do the same.  At least no one can say I didn't try.  I have no resources to fight the system.  So I guess the biggest love is to let them go.  It hurts like crazy so generally I try not to think about it.

I relate with you.  Chin up, we'll get through this somehow.

Q.

My thoughts & prayers are with you.  I didn't hear from my daughter neither on Father's Day.  Lost my baby girl to her mother's horrible training.  Have done all I can do and am finally giving up.  Not worth the fighting but will continue to try to email and send gifts on holidays etc.  Best I can do until she wants to know more.

I pray that you too will find some comfort one day.

Best to you

Q.

Patton

Thanks again.  Yes in my order when we divorced and the papers were being drawn up for that, I specifically had it put in that one would pick up and the other drop off, whether less than or more than 100 miles.  So I did cover my bases there.

But I will keep your name in my handybook and if I need any further help, I'll email.  Thanks so much.

Thanks Patton

I appreciate your help and all of the encouraging comments.  I'm going to look back on what I do have documented, and am definitely going to write her a letter and send it certified.  It's just so hard to keep putting the child in the middle and I've tried not to by backing off when she keeps saying no, no, no.  But I realize that my child will grow up not knowing why I couldn't be in her life more.  I am not asking for the world just even a visit ever month or so would be nice.  So I'm going to take back out that journal I keep with everything in it and am going to sit down once she leaves back and send the mother a certified letter and see where I go from there.  

Thanks for all the encouragement & help guys/gals.

Q

Thanks, I've already been recording and keeping track of all the times my child asks to come and I ask mama to send and she refuses.  So I'm going to send certified letters and demand that my child comes out and see how it goes.

Thanks

I'm going to try that.  Don't know if it will work but it's worth a try to send it certified and state the exact paragraphs in the decree.  Then if she doesn't comply, my next problem is how to file contemp without having to get a lawyer?  I don't have the money. :-(  I miss my child and want to be part of my child's life but everything is going against me.

Thanks for the advice.

Q.

Yes, court order still states 1/3/5 wknds.  We have Texas state requirements which still leave my child coming the same status even if I'm 100 miles away.  My child is 12.  The mother is suppose to pay out to send my child and I'm suppose to pay return.  That's where the kink comes in.  I got to see my child Nov. 04 when I had to drive down to Dallas for emergency family business.  I do email, write, send gifts, call as much as I can and my child does the same.

I know it's easy to say, just bring the child out and pay for it then go after mama.  Nice to say if you have money or credit cards or anything like that.  I don't think airlines will take my looks.  When I say I am broke and don't have money to spend for both ways, I really mean it.  At first I would have been happy seeing her a couple of times a year sharing expenses but then mama wouldn't even allow that thus she took me to court to pay both ways for summer & Christmas.  My child is arriving tomorrow for 6 weeks straight only because my wife was injured in an automobile accident and we received some insurance money.

I know what people think that I don't care for my child otherwise I'd make sure that my child is here as much as possible, but some people are not lucky and I'm one of them.  I really don't have the financial means.  I apy my child support and again that comes out of what little my wife can make.  So actually my wife is paying my child support.  I'm not a young father who can just up and get a job and go laddy di, laddida.  I'm handicapped, can't get disability.  Anyway, lots of factors.  My concern is can I file for contempt for when I do request my child come out and she replies no she can't afford it since my decree states she is to pay 1/2?

Please don't judge people because they can't be in their child life as much as they want to be especially when it comes to finances.  I have never been or will ever be late in child support but I cannot afford to have me pay full fare each and every other weekend.  It needs to be shared.  That is my problem.

Thanks.