visitation cost split, but there are problems

[72264kids]

I live in Virginia, but jurisdiction is in Florida.

I have drafted a pro se stipulation between the ex and I indicating that we were both to split both the cost for the child's visitation and the transportation for such.

Basically the child travel's as an unaccompanied minor on an airplane (until the CP decides that they don't like that idea any more).

In the past, what we did was split the cost of both directions of travel. I put the cost of the entire flight on my debit or credit card (CP does not have a debit card with a visa logo, and no money in the account..sure pigs can fly). The CP then reimbursed me in the form of a check.

Then the CP started their crap, not reimbursing me unless they received child support. (They received it at exactly the same interval and on a monthly basis, not my fault the State is slow).

I told the CP that even though I am a "bank"of sorts, that I have limits and that each party would now truly be responsible for their pickups and dropoffs (including financially).

Now the problem lies in the fact that of the plane tickets, one ticket will always be the more expensive than the other one.

The CP will be sure to grab the cheapest one, since the "force" is with them.

I would like to know how to get the cheapest tickets, in the future before the CP does.

I don't want to end up wasting time and money to change the language, and I don't want to end up in court.

Sorry if I want to save money, but any payor who is "bitter" (a politically correct term for motivated) certainly would.

Thanks

[Giggles]

Does it state in your court orders that transportation is divided between the parties?  If not, then certainly do a modification for it to be divided...I would have it ordered so that the receiving party pays for that part of the transportation.  (so if the child is coming to see you in VA, you would pay the transportation from FL to VA, then the BM would have to pay for the return ticket...this could benefit you...especially if you book ahead for the cheapest fares).  You may also want to enter a clause that if the other party interferes (not putting the kid on the plane), then the injured party is entitled 2 times the ticket value and will face contempt charges (this should discourage the BM from saying that she cant afford his return flight so she isn't going to send the child)

Do you have the child signed up for South West Airlines Rewards?  If not..DO IT!!  

go to //www.southwest.com

I generally get 1 free flight a year :-)  You may also want to sign up for their "Ding" fares...I've gotten some really good deals through that program.

[72264kids]

Thanks for all of this information.

The last modification I drafted reads as follows "Agree that all transportation of the minor child and the financial responsibility for such be equally split between the parties."

Maybe I could have done better than this, but this was the first time I drafted a pro se stipulation, and I couldn't just sit around and not see my kid.

:)

I don't want to go back and modify if I don't have to. The ex may not be "amicable" towards modification, and I would have to take it to trial.

The judge might just say, "you moved, you pay"....along with a substantial change of income...and your child is too young to fly alone at 6 with an escort.

This is what stops me.

What do you think?

[Giggles]

You have an agreement that the financial responsibility is equally split...if she doesn't reimburse you, then you could file a contempt.  What I would do in this situation is to inform her in advance of what tickets you plan to purchase and the purchase price. (my X and I do this all the time...I e-mail him the dates and times and most of the time he says those are fine).  Give her a deadline as to when she needs to confirm that those flights are OK to purchase...BUT do put a disclaimer that should she not respond, the cost of the flights could increase..yadda..yadda.  Then once you get her confirmation, book the flights.  Then send her the receipt and a "invoice" of her costs in writing (via regular return receipt mail) with again a deadline date for it to be paid.  If she doesn't pay it, then you will have a good case to take her to small claims or even a contempt motion...now since she lives in FL and your in VA...you purchased the tickets...she may have to come to VA to fight this claim...

As for the child being too young...that's malarkey...my kids have been jet setters since they were 4 y/o hehehe

[MixedBag]

just add "Airtran" as another cheap airline to consider.

They let you buy cheap one way tickets if you plan -- actually with gas prices, nothing about transportation is gonna be cheap.

And all 6 of our kids fly....cross country and cross oceans....

BTW we use Southwest and they are wonderful -- they go above and beyond in emergencies.

Helped us once confirm that a connection for a child travelling by themselves was still gonna be possible even with the departed delay.

Helped us get a message to a child when dad got stuck in traffic and was gonna be seriously late in getting to the airport.

See both happened while the "flight was in the air" and they're really not supposed to confirm or deny IF a particular person is on board.  But they worked with us and focused on the child and the need to protect the passenger from undue stress.

[72264kids]

Thanks for all of the pointers! I have been using Jetblue and have been pretty satisfied.

They just started charging for "escorts" though.

Spirit on the other hand has been a hassle, and inconsistent.

[Quyrah]

Hi,

I'm new here but I can understand where you are coming from.  My daughter is in Texas and I live in TN.  Her mother is suppose to pay 1/2 the airfare etc but refuses and thus never sends my child out to see me.  She took me to court to gain that I pay all fares.  But I agreed only to Christmas and summer visits to pay all.  I regret doing that, because we have asked for my child to come out and she still won't send her, no matter what we say.  I do NOT have the money to pay all the fare.  It's not that I don't want to see my child but when you don't have the money, you don't.  She claims she never has it, but hey, 1/2 is better than nothing.  Thus she has been in contempt of court so many times although I've never filed because again, I don't have the money to do so.

Suggestions would be great.

Thanks

Q.

[awakenlynn]

Every time you pay the airfare and she doesn't put her on the plane, file in small claims court(in your town) for the repayment of the airfare.  If you win this(shouldn't be a problem if you have court order spelled out and receipt of ticket and notice of some sort that stated child was not on flight), then go to family court and file in contempt.  Do this every time to establish a pattern.  Most courts will put up with this for only so long.

[Quyrah]

That sounds so easy.  Really easy.  But ...  1) I live in TN, so thus I would have to file in TX.  Would have to get to Texas to file. 2) Would have to hire lawyer to file for contempt.  See where my problem lies.  It all sounds so sweet and easy at times but when reality hits, you don't have money to fly down, to hire lawyer, to drive down, it gets a lot more complicated.  If my wife was finished with her education and working, we'd be able to do it, but she still has 1 year as undergrad then 3 in law school.  So by the time 4 years have passed, my daughter will be 16.  I'm NOT trying to be pessimistic although this posting may seem like it, or it may seem like I don't care.  It is SO FAR from the truth.  I care more than you could ever imagine or if you are in same situation, I care as much as you care.  I truly do.  But ... fate is against me.  Maybe it was meant for me to just walk away and pay my support and let my child be as she is.  I hate the idea but see little choice or options.

Thanks for the reply.  I truly, truly, TRULY appreciate it.  At least it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Take care

Q

[416021va]

Why not file yourself, you don't need to go to Texas, there is mail in TN isn't there?

If it is that bad, go pro se. Things were bad for me until I decided to stimulate my brain. Your child is worth your best effort.

Read as much as you can, don't give up!

Thanks all for your advice.