Messages

>No, it never ends --- but it does get easier.
>
>Unless there's been a significant change in circumstances (ex
>can no longer work, for example), you're going to be OK. Show
>DCSS the docs again. If they want to make an issue of it, go
>back to court - and ask the judge to force your ex to pay your
>expenses since she's clearly stirring the pot.

at the time of filing, she was making 30K and I was making 40K.  Now I make 50K and she's only making a minor increase.

>There is one loophole in your case that might make it a little
>less slam-dunk - or at least it might be a problem in my state
>(OK). Even though my ex and I each have 50:50 custody
>(alternating weeks), our incomes were different enough that
>I'm paying substantial child support. My attorney said that
>even if our incomes were very similar, there would probably be
>some child support involved - since the judges in my state
>don't like zero child support. Even if our incomes were
>identical, I would probably be paying $1 per month in support
>- the judges would rather see a very low calculated number
>than a waiver.
>
>Since your judge signed your agreement, I doubt if that's the
>issue, but I thought I'd mention it for thoroughness.  I'd
>stick with my original advice. You should be OK.
>
>There's one BIG issue for you to consider. Your ex is trying
>to make your life miserable but doesn't realize that this can
>backfire. You say that she took the child away from his
>caretaker and put him in a daycare center. Is this during your
>parenting time? If it's during your parenting time, I would
>file for contempt. Give her a taste of her own medicine and
>maybe she'll settle down.

some information about my situation.  After the settlement, we had a verbal agreement:

Since my aunt took care of my son since birth, till now 26 months old, she would continue to be his caretaker.  I was paying her the same amount as the current day care, and can prove it.

I let her know a few weeks in advance that I am getting married and going on vacation.  She's not happy, but ok's my trip.  I schedule it during her sister's(21yr old) summer vacation, which she agrees to take care of my son (my aunt took a 10 day vacation to attend my wedding, all which was planned in advance, and verbally agreed with BM).

I go on vacation, and check up on my son during vacation to find out that he's now enrolled in a day care center FULL-Time.

as for contempt, I dont know if that would qualify, but I do have a case for this clause:

19. That Petitioner shall exercise the Federal and State dependency tax deductions with reference to said children as long as Petitioner is providing more than fifty percent (50%), of support of said children. Should Respondent begin earning a provable wage, and begin providing fifty percent (50%), or more of the support of said children, the Federal and State dependency tax deductions shall be split between the Parents; one Parent taking the state deduction one year while the other Parent takes the Federal deduction that same year, and reversing the following year.

_______________________

since I was paying for most of the expenses (child care), and being the petitioner, I would be entitled the the tax deductions (year 2006).  But instead, she took the entire deduction on the claim.  Instead of filing for contempt, I just let it go and demanded for the deduction next year.  With the deduction, she paid me 5K in money that she literally stole from me.  She still owes me another 4.5K.

Is it too late to file contempt, and is it possible to file for contempt?

Lastly, should I get a lawyer?

California

Last year, me and bm agreed on paternity and custody and have a signed agreement of a document here (signed off by notary AND judge):

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.php

with an additional Support clause that reads:

CHILD SUPPORT
1.  Neither parent shall pay the other child support for the minor child.  The parties are fully informed of their rights concerning child support, this support order is agreed to without coercion or duress, is in the best interest of the minor child, and the needs of each minor will be adequately met by the agreed amount of child support herein.  Based upon the parties respective income and expense declaration filed with this court.
2.  Pursuant to Family Code § 3901(a) child support (jurisdiction) shall continue until such time as the minor child has attained the age of 18 years, is a full-time high school student, and resides with a parent, until such time the child completes the 12th grade or attains the age of 19 years, whichever first occurs.
3.  The right to support has not been assigned to the county pursuant to § 11477 of the Welfare and Institutions Code and no public assistance application is pending.
4.  A Wage and Earnings Assignment Order shall issue
5.  Each party shall pay one half of such child care costs in addition to any other support.

MEDICAL AND DENTAL
1.  The Petitioner and Respondent are ordered to maintain for the benefit of the minor child, all medical, dental and hospital insurance (available through his employment and/or union affiliation) to pay premiums thereon, to maintain him/her as  insured and to cooperate in the presentation, collection, and reimbursement of any claims under such policy.
2.  Any medical, dental, orthodontic, optometric, psychiatric, psychological expense not otherwise covered by insurance for the minor child shall be shared by the parties equally.


I went on vacation to get married, and the bm filed with DCSS as soon as I went on vacation.  She also took my son away from his caretaker, my aunt, and put him in a daycare center fulltime.

Advice and/or lawyer referrals in the LA area would be great.

This is the second time DCSS has invited me out.  The first time, I squashed them with my judgement, but now, they are asking to see me again with FL-680 with notice of motion child support, judgement, and healthcare checked.

Will this crap ever end?  We have a comprehensive judgement already, and now they are bothering me with this shit again.

I really wish it was that easy.  I spoke with IRS, and they wont honor the court order because it is conditional.  I need to prove that my son stays with me more and that I am the custodial(physically) parent.  I'll update the situation when it is resolved.  Thanks for input.

>who is listed as the Custodial parent, thats all the IRS
>cares about, anything else is up to the courts.
I believe birth mother is custodial parent;  that being said, I have an adjusted court order, rewarding me with the tax deductions specifically.  I used this parenting plan:

http://deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.php

It has been modded a little bit, but remains mostly the same, and more importantly, it has been signed off by the judge.

I have a custom judgement:

I am the petitioner, and here it goes:

18. That petitioner shall exercise the federal and state dependency tax deductions with reference to said children as long as petitioner is providing more than fifty percent, of support of said children. Should Respondent begin earning a provable wage, and begin providing fifty percent, or more of the support of said children, the federal and state dependency tax deductions shall be split between the parents; one parent taking the state deduction one year while the other parent takes the federal deduction the same year, and reversing the following year.

-----------------------------------------

I pay my son's FULL child care expenses, and he also lives with me for more than 70% of the time.

The problem is that BM went ahead and filed her taxes a few weeks ago, taking the deduction. What should, could I do?

I dont understand your post ocean.  BM is going to setup an appointment for mediation on thurday.  My son has not gone yet.  I want to KEEP my son here, in california.  I think she has a job now, but not making much.  She cant afford california, so she's going east.

State CA

We have 50/50 physical custody of our 3 year old, born in california. MW for me T TH for her. We split F S Su every other week.

Here is my custody judgment from 12/2006:

1.  The country of habitual residence = USA, the home state for all purposes is California.  Joint legal and joint physical.

13.  That the primary residence of said children shall not be moved outside a radius of one hour driving time from the residence of Chardog without prior permission of Chardog, and of the court.

(yes, I made the papers favor me, knowing full well that if she were ever to leave, I'de have my bases covered;  Not sure if it will hold up though).

___________________________
Other stuff:

SOLVING DISPUTES

1. In the event of any dispute regarding custody, visitation, time share or other matters concerning a minor child, the parties shall attempt to mediate such dispute through the Conciliation Court ( Family Code §§ 3160-3186).

2. The dispute resolution process shall be commenced by notifying the other party by written request.

3. In the dispute resolution process:
•   a) Preference shall be given to carrying out this Parenting Plan.
•   b) Unless an emergency exists, the parents shall use the designated process to resolve disputes relating to implementation of the plan, except those related to financial support.
•   c) A written record shall be prepared of any decision reached in arbitration and shall be provided to each party.
•   d) The parties have the right of Appeal from the dispute resolution process to the superior court.
•   e) Reasonable attorney's fees SHALL be assessed against an appealing party who does not substantially better his/her position in the Appeal process.
ATTORNEY'S FEES, LITIGATION EXPENSES, AND COURT COSTS:
1.  Each of the parties is ordered to pay their own attorney fees, expenses of litigation and court costs incurred in this matter.
OTHER ORDERS
1.  Each of the parties shall, upon demand, execute and deliver all documents necessary to carry out the terms of stipulation/agreement, and upon failure to do so, the court, upon appropriate application, may appoint the Clerk of the Superior Court as its commissioner to execute the documents specified by court order.
2.  This agreement covers all matters in dispute in this hearing.
ORDERS RELATING TO JUDGEMENTS ONLY
1.  The parties waive their rights to a trial and to notice of trial for the purpose of having the court grant a judgment pursuant to the terms of this agreement which may be heard by a court commissioner sitting as a judge pro tem.
2.  All parties waiver the right to appeal, to request a statement of decision, and to move for a new trial
3.  The parties are the parents of each minor child names in the petition or complaint filed herein and a judgment establishing the parent child relations may be granted herein under the Uniform Parentage Act ( FC § 7600-7730).
___________________________
That's nearly word for word from my judgement.

Relevant facts:

1.  I pay for 50% of my son's schooling.
2.  I pay for 100% of my son's health insurance.
3.  I have spent more time with my son this year by a slight amount, due to BM taking vacations;  School logs as proof.
4.  I'm married, BM isnt.
5.  Child support is not an issue.  I am willing to take care of my son and all his expenses.  She is willing to do the same ( so she claims ).


__________________

BM will be moving the beginning of the year.   BM wants to start a business in the east coast.

I turned in the judgement october 4 or so.  It's been over a month, how long does this process usually take?

The reason I ask is that DCSS still wants me in court dec. 4.  My lawyer told me to forward the judgement to the dcss when it's signed by the judge.

is there any other way to avoid court in december?  The bm seems like she has changed her stance and may wage war again.

She wants me to pay child support, but for the last few months, I've been having my son 4 days out of the week, overnights, and the days that she has him overnight, she's been leaving him with me til night time.  In other words, she has my son for 1 full day and 2 evening/nights.  I have him the rest of the time.

to be less confusing, here's the schedule:

Sunday:  Father
Monday:  Father
Tuesday: Mother(after 7:30PM when she picks up my son)
Wednsday:  Father
Thursday:  Mother(after 7:30PM when she picks up my son)
Friday:  Father
Saturday: Mother

Starting next month, She wants me to take care of him everyday except saturday.  Can I postpone my date for DCSS court?  I want to gather this evidence.

I spoke to the lawyer, and since he knew that I knew exactly what I was doing, he didnt charge me a thing for free advice.  Keep in mind, this was the second meeting!

He gave me the necessary forms to make this deal concrete.  I need to:

fill and file :

FL-235 separately (waiver of rights: establish paternity)

FL-250 separately with the attachment I used FROM THIS SITE!!!!
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.php
thanks to helpinghands!!! this is the lifesaver, otherwise the lawyer would have charged me a big bundle to use his drafted version, which was VERY similar in content.
This form needs to be notarized at the end of the attachment!

FL-190 separately

I'm finishing up on paperwork, and my lawyer will give it one last overview and charge me the time per hour (less than 1 hour) and I'm done !!!

This is the best forum in the world, thanks for helping me.  My life went from upside down to rightside up.  I actually have control of my future!

>http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.php
>
>Excellent Plan! Very detailed and reasonable for BOTH parties
>and child!
>
>Good luck.
Wow, exellent!

but Will this cover for paternity issues?  I read the join legal and joint physical custody, but I'm not sure, since it's made for divorced parents.

This forum is the best!  thanks again.