Mother moving and wants to take son

[chardog]

State CA

We have 50/50 physical custody of our 3 year old, born in california. MW for me T TH for her. We split F S Su every other week.

Here is my custody judgment from 12/2006:

1.  The country of habitual residence = USA, the home state for all purposes is California.  Joint legal and joint physical.

13.  That the primary residence of said children shall not be moved outside a radius of one hour driving time from the residence of Chardog without prior permission of Chardog, and of the court.

(yes, I made the papers favor me, knowing full well that if she were ever to leave, I'de have my bases covered;  Not sure if it will hold up though).

___________________________
Other stuff:

SOLVING DISPUTES

1. In the event of any dispute regarding custody, visitation, time share or other matters concerning a minor child, the parties shall attempt to mediate such dispute through the Conciliation Court ( Family Code §§ 3160-3186).

2. The dispute resolution process shall be commenced by notifying the other party by written request.

3. In the dispute resolution process:
•   a) Preference shall be given to carrying out this Parenting Plan.
•   b) Unless an emergency exists, the parents shall use the designated process to resolve disputes relating to implementation of the plan, except those related to financial support.
•   c) A written record shall be prepared of any decision reached in arbitration and shall be provided to each party.
•   d) The parties have the right of Appeal from the dispute resolution process to the superior court.
•   e) Reasonable attorney's fees SHALL be assessed against an appealing party who does not substantially better his/her position in the Appeal process.
ATTORNEY'S FEES, LITIGATION EXPENSES, AND COURT COSTS:
1.  Each of the parties is ordered to pay their own attorney fees, expenses of litigation and court costs incurred in this matter.
OTHER ORDERS
1.  Each of the parties shall, upon demand, execute and deliver all documents necessary to carry out the terms of stipulation/agreement, and upon failure to do so, the court, upon appropriate application, may appoint the Clerk of the Superior Court as its commissioner to execute the documents specified by court order.
2.  This agreement covers all matters in dispute in this hearing.
ORDERS RELATING TO JUDGEMENTS ONLY
1.  The parties waive their rights to a trial and to notice of trial for the purpose of having the court grant a judgment pursuant to the terms of this agreement which may be heard by a court commissioner sitting as a judge pro tem.
2.  All parties waiver the right to appeal, to request a statement of decision, and to move for a new trial
3.  The parties are the parents of each minor child names in the petition or complaint filed herein and a judgment establishing the parent child relations may be granted herein under the Uniform Parentage Act ( FC § 7600-7730).
___________________________
That's nearly word for word from my judgement.

Relevant facts:

1.  I pay for 50% of my son's schooling.
2.  I pay for 100% of my son's health insurance.
3.  I have spent more time with my son this year by a slight amount, due to BM taking vacations;  School logs as proof.
4.  I'm married, BM isnt.
5.  Child support is not an issue.  I am willing to take care of my son and all his expenses.  She is willing to do the same ( so she claims ).


__________________

BM will be moving the beginning of the year.   BM wants to start a business in the east coast.

[ocean]

File now so she can not remove child. She can move to the east coast but she can leave child with you. Move aways are not being allowed in my state anymore as a regular decision. You have to prove it is best for the child. You can use school, family (is her family there too?). Offer a schedule and that you will allow her family to visit child.
Depends on the judge but you have a good shot. Also does the BM have a job now? Does she HAVE to leave or could she stay at her job?
Good luck!

[chardog]

I dont understand your post ocean.  BM is going to setup an appointment for mediation on thurday.  My son has not gone yet.  I want to KEEP my son here, in california.  I think she has a job now, but not making much.  She cant afford california, so she's going east.

[ocean]

Okay..get all you can ready. You tell them that SHE and move but you are apart of the child's life and the child needs to stay in California. Tell them it is best for the child to stay in the same school, friends, family. Tell them that she has had a job and made it work all this time so she can keep doing it OR she can leave your child with you. Show your documentation of how much you have been involved and that you do not want to be a vacation dad. Have  a visitation schedule ready IF you got custody and when the child can go to mom's. The courts by me have NOT allowed mother's to move ..just to move. It needs to be in the best interest of the child. If you can afford a lawyer for this ..get one. This will be your best change of getting custody.

[poppies06]

I don't feel stopping her is right. What happens if you loose your job and have nothing. You can't afford CA any longer. You want to move. Work with her to make the best for your child. Taking a child from their mother is the worst thing you can do and at 3 yrs old can cause huge emotional issues forever. I am so sick of people like ocean who don't care about anything then the fathers rights and how they were wrong. The good fathers out there aren't fighting the mothers to get what's right solved they are working together and achieving what's best for the child.

I am trying to move 2 hrs away from my ex with the schedule staying just short of a 50/50 visitation schedule and he is fighting it and not cause of what's in the best interest of my son but because he is very sick and his new wife is even sicker and wants to hurt me.

[lucky]

A mother moving across the country and taking the child with (a child who has a relationship with dad) is NOT what is best for the child.  How about mom work with dad on this?

Ocean is not thinking "only father's rights" and you need to take your emotions out of your judgements about what other people are or are not thinking/advocating.

The only reason my dh and I did not move when the kids were younger (we had opportunities then) was because dh had custody and a long distance relationship with mom would have been very difficult and detrimental to the kids.  We'd have been a hell of a lot better off financially, etc., but it was better for the kids to be nearer to their mom.

[SPARC Admin]

Please see the articles on move aways (http://www.deltabravo.net/cgi-bin/search.cgi?Terms=moving&Match=1&Realm=All):

http://www.deltabravo.net/cgi-bin/search.cgi?Terms=moving&Match=1&Realm=All


4. Preparing For A 'Move-Away' Or Custody Battle
    A common tactic by a vengeful custodial parent is to move, often out of state, separating the child geographically from the non-custodial parent (usually the father). If you even suspect your ex-spouse might do this, you need to be prepared.
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moveaway.php

5. Preventing Domestic Move-Aways
    A classic tactic by many ex-wives is to move to another State and take the children. This assists them in alienating the children and makes it nearly impossible for the father to see his children. If you find out that your ex-wife if planning to move, follow these steps...
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moving.php

6. When You Suspect the Worst
    ''When You Suspect the Worst'' - A guide to dealing with bad-faith relocation, fabricated child sexual abuse, and parental alienation, by Carol Holstein Sanders.
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/suspect.php

7. Preventing International Move-Aways
    To prevent your ex from getting a passport for your child(ren), call the Passport Services Office of Policy and Advisory Services at 1-202-955-0232 for information on blocking your ex from leaving the country with the child.
    URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/moving2.php

[Giggles]

I don't feel stopping her is right. What happens if you loose your job and have nothing. You can't afford CA any longer. You want to move. Work with her to make the best for your child. Taking a child from their mother is the worst thing you can do and at 3 yrs old can cause huge emotional issues forever. I am so sick of people like ocean who don't care about anything then the fathers rights and how they were wrong. The good fathers out there aren't fighting the mothers to get what's right solved they are working together and achieving what's best for the child.

I am trying to move 2 hrs away from my ex with the schedule staying just short of a 50/50 visitation schedule and he is fighting it and not cause of what's in the best interest of my son but because he is very sick and his new wife is even sicker and wants to hurt me.

I don't think you understand...I don't think he wants to stop HER from moving...she's free to go, but the child SHOULD stay with him when/if SHE goes.  Uprooting a child from everything they know at 3 years old is extremely detrimental.

Why is it OK to take a child away from his father but not his mother?  Especially since this father has been MORE active in this child's life than the mother has??  A Child who has an absent parent CAN have emotional issues whether that parent is the Mom or DAD!!! 

Why do you have such an aversion to the Dad having custody over the mom?  I KNOW for a fact that Father's can and DO make wonderful Primary parents!!  Just ask my X...he has custody of our 16 y/o daughter and has done a WONDERFUL job!!

[bmoreforeva]

 The sex of the parent doesnt matter. Fathers make great parents as well as mothers.

[Gestalt]

The sex of the parent doesnt matter. Fathers make great parents as well as mothers.

I agree- both parents are equally important in a child's life, removing either can be detrimental.