First I wanted to let you know that you are not alone...There are countless others out here with similar and beleive it or not even worse situations...The best thing that you can do is remain strong for your children and keep the faith that God will work all of this out (read the poem footsteps - it's helping me even as I type this to you) and if your wife is truly wrong, which by if she has done what you say than by all means she is then this will work out for you...
I too have been accused of DV and I know the horrible feeling of a woman telling the court, police and other people in both of your lives numerous lies and trying to sway opinion in her favor...The good news for you is that don't mean tit, this comes down to your RIGHT to be with your kids as your childrens' father regardless of the false accusations and slurs folks in you community or church are saying, for the sake of your kids you have to rise above that...They know the real truth and are the only ones that matter...
I was raised and brought up in the Methodist church even though both of my parents were brought up in the Mennonite church and are still active with Mennonite Disaster Releif Services and other care-giving organizations; needless to say I was rasied well and hold a high value on ethics and morality...I know the scripture very well and as I have gotten older have seperated from the church all while maintaining my unwaivering sprituality and faith in God...
The reason for my separation from the church has a lot to do with what I read you write. You were saying that your wife has swayed many members of the church against you. As you may know just because folks (preacher, deacon, alter boy) go to church and may be of good morel and ethical quaility they are still human and humans judge...I tried to attened church with my ex-wife during the demise of our marriage and basically she did the same thing to me...It's not worth it to torture yourself by trying to sway people's minds back over to you side of the fence, you need all of your energy now to protect your children and you own sanity during this long process...Maybe you can try a new or differnt church if you need to fellowship with other folks...
Like I said earlier, there a people out here with it worse (but misery loves company, so maybe this will cheer you up - or not)...
My ex-wife filed DV charges against me on Feb. 06, 2006; realize that I have not lived with the woman in more that 5 years, there cannot be DV if you don't even live with the person...Anyway, she did that in an attempt to block a modification of custody that I had put in requesting joint physical custody of our seven year old daughter. This charge looked legit to the court which allowed her to counter with full custody and supervised visitation.
The reson for the modification were suspicions I had concerning my daughters' new stepfather and his lack of concern regarding my daughter and her saftey...To make a long story short, my conversation with him about the subject of my daughter's best interest turned violent after he pushed me called me a bad father then swung at me...I handled my own and made it to my vehical where this guy proceeded to follow me for ten miles while trying to run me off the road...The police were called and no criminal charges filed but on the advice of the police officer I got a peace order against him...And that's what started the ball rolling (rolling right over me too - keep reading)
So, this guy and my ex-wife decide to see just how much it will take to piss me off and try to get me to break my own peace order...One morning about 2:30 am my cell phone rings, I let it ring and in the morning I had a not so nice voicemail from her new husband stating that he saw me up his way the other day and was sitting in front of my house blah, blah, blah...I was sick this anyway and was sure this and the fact that he chased me down the highway were things I could use to further my justification for the modification of custody so I went to the State's Attorney and had them press criminal charges... Two days later I was served with an arrest warrent based on their lies which cost me all of two hours clearing up with the court commissioner...In the end, non of it had any bearing on my custody case, on Aug. 15, 2006 I was awarded all of my requested custody and the new husband and I worked everything out and helped each keep out of legal trouble... Ahh, a happy ending right -Wrong!!!
Last Monday night again at about 2:30 in the morning I had police banging down my door...When I answered they handed me a protective order written by my wife stating that I had molested my daughter...The statement reads that my daughter Ariel told her grandmother that I had touched her privates on Aug. 19, 2006 (4 days after winning my modification hearing); total BS...I can take all the crap you say about me or even that fact that because of her vindictive nature my ex wife held my daughter from me and my family for the entire year, but now it's not only my character at stake but now my daughter's mental health is at stake too, I can't even imagine what she feels like being forced to lie...I'm still fighting though, the good news is that in my interview with DSS the interviewer told me right away that they didn't see this as a molestation or sexual abuse case so they haven't warped my little girl too bad...But the truth is that system hates men and even though I can prove two previous false charges that she tried to get against me, I am skeptical but have to rely on my faith in God to carry both Ariel and I through this...Currently I now only have supervised visitation which is what my ex wanted all along...Oh, BTW did I mention that my ex wife has a new ex husband and that she pressing charges on him too...Go figure... -B
I too have been accused of DV and I know the horrible feeling of a woman telling the court, police and other people in both of your lives numerous lies and trying to sway opinion in her favor...The good news for you is that don't mean tit, this comes down to your RIGHT to be with your kids as your childrens' father regardless of the false accusations and slurs folks in you community or church are saying, for the sake of your kids you have to rise above that...They know the real truth and are the only ones that matter...
I was raised and brought up in the Methodist church even though both of my parents were brought up in the Mennonite church and are still active with Mennonite Disaster Releif Services and other care-giving organizations; needless to say I was rasied well and hold a high value on ethics and morality...I know the scripture very well and as I have gotten older have seperated from the church all while maintaining my unwaivering sprituality and faith in God...
The reason for my separation from the church has a lot to do with what I read you write. You were saying that your wife has swayed many members of the church against you. As you may know just because folks (preacher, deacon, alter boy) go to church and may be of good morel and ethical quaility they are still human and humans judge...I tried to attened church with my ex-wife during the demise of our marriage and basically she did the same thing to me...It's not worth it to torture yourself by trying to sway people's minds back over to you side of the fence, you need all of your energy now to protect your children and you own sanity during this long process...Maybe you can try a new or differnt church if you need to fellowship with other folks...
Like I said earlier, there a people out here with it worse (but misery loves company, so maybe this will cheer you up - or not)...
My ex-wife filed DV charges against me on Feb. 06, 2006; realize that I have not lived with the woman in more that 5 years, there cannot be DV if you don't even live with the person...Anyway, she did that in an attempt to block a modification of custody that I had put in requesting joint physical custody of our seven year old daughter. This charge looked legit to the court which allowed her to counter with full custody and supervised visitation.
The reson for the modification were suspicions I had concerning my daughters' new stepfather and his lack of concern regarding my daughter and her saftey...To make a long story short, my conversation with him about the subject of my daughter's best interest turned violent after he pushed me called me a bad father then swung at me...I handled my own and made it to my vehical where this guy proceeded to follow me for ten miles while trying to run me off the road...The police were called and no criminal charges filed but on the advice of the police officer I got a peace order against him...And that's what started the ball rolling (rolling right over me too - keep reading)
So, this guy and my ex-wife decide to see just how much it will take to piss me off and try to get me to break my own peace order...One morning about 2:30 am my cell phone rings, I let it ring and in the morning I had a not so nice voicemail from her new husband stating that he saw me up his way the other day and was sitting in front of my house blah, blah, blah...I was sick this anyway and was sure this and the fact that he chased me down the highway were things I could use to further my justification for the modification of custody so I went to the State's Attorney and had them press criminal charges... Two days later I was served with an arrest warrent based on their lies which cost me all of two hours clearing up with the court commissioner...In the end, non of it had any bearing on my custody case, on Aug. 15, 2006 I was awarded all of my requested custody and the new husband and I worked everything out and helped each keep out of legal trouble... Ahh, a happy ending right -Wrong!!!
Last Monday night again at about 2:30 in the morning I had police banging down my door...When I answered they handed me a protective order written by my wife stating that I had molested my daughter...The statement reads that my daughter Ariel told her grandmother that I had touched her privates on Aug. 19, 2006 (4 days after winning my modification hearing); total BS...I can take all the crap you say about me or even that fact that because of her vindictive nature my ex wife held my daughter from me and my family for the entire year, but now it's not only my character at stake but now my daughter's mental health is at stake too, I can't even imagine what she feels like being forced to lie...I'm still fighting though, the good news is that in my interview with DSS the interviewer told me right away that they didn't see this as a molestation or sexual abuse case so they haven't warped my little girl too bad...But the truth is that system hates men and even though I can prove two previous false charges that she tried to get against me, I am skeptical but have to rely on my faith in God to carry both Ariel and I through this...Currently I now only have supervised visitation which is what my ex wanted all along...Oh, BTW did I mention that my ex wife has a new ex husband and that she pressing charges on him too...Go figure... -B