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OK so I am back with some new information. We had our initial status conference today. She wants Child Support now as well as Primary Parental Custody. Exactly what I filed for. She had her lawyer try and put in a temporary order today for Child Support. I countered that by saying "wait wait wait, I've been the majority parent (overwhelmingly) for 3 years now. If anything, i'm due back-child support". I have some pretty decent documentation going back to about a year after my son was born. They decided that they want to hire a Family Investigator to monitor the child when he is at both parties houses. They decide this before I am even given the opportunity to show documentation that I have that logs just how little time she spent with her son in the past. Will I be given the opportunity to prove that or am I now at the mercy of the Investigator? We have court date for March 23rd to get orders in for Child Support which in my eyes, I believe I am entitled to. I mean when a mom abandons her kid for weeks, even as much as a month at a time, that's got to count for something right?

Also, in what I believe is a attempt to gain favor, she put my son in a pre-school today. Which I don't know how well that will work considering that we exchange Isaac every four days so he is not with one parent, the same days, each week. Do I look bad for not enrolling him first? I asked my lawyer and he said it doesn't matter. But I don't know that I agree with him on that one.

That's going to be a tough one because the basement we live in only has one bedroom and a living room. I don't think he would have a problem sleeping on his own. Should I move my bed into the living room area and have the bedroom be only his?

Oh and I did retain a lawyer today. He likes my chances just based on some of the physical evidence I have (such as records with each parent and the fact that she has lived in about 8 different places in 5 years and has been evicted twice). I am probably not going to have her served until after she gets back from a vacation with my kid. She is going to Washington from the 14th-18th and don't want her to get any crazy ideas about keeping him out there and away from me.

Another question about my situation. I am living at my parents which I mentioned. Me and my son currently share one room. He is 3 1/2 yrs old now. We live in a very nice basement but it only has one room. There is an extra room upstairs but we use that as a play room. I don't see it as being a problem right now but do you think the court would see that as being bad in any way?

OK good news. The BM and I did sign a Acknowledgment of Paternity document when our son was born so that should hopefully not be an issue (unless I am missing something). I have requested a official copy from Vital Records in Colorado. Now i just need to get a lawyer to help me. Would anyone recommend a good family-law attorney? I'm making some calls today to some lawyers I found listed on Colorado's Bar Association site but any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!

Thank you very much Gemini. I am going to be contacting a few lawyers today to see what can be done. I want an attorney to be there to hold my hand and have a game plan for me so that I don't make anymore mistakes than I already have. I can afford a decent attorney so I might as well do it right. I have tried to be the nice guy for too long and she is backing me up into a corner now. Thank you.

Is my name being on the Birth Certificate as the Father the same thing or does that mean nothing?

Hi All,

Noobie here. Got some questions on how to approach a possible upcoming custody battle. The mother and I were never married but lived together off and on for about 3 years. She ends up pregnant and we end up not working out. For about the first 2 to 2.5 years of his life, she is barely around. A "call here"..."a promise to show up" there but all in all there were times I would go 3-4 weeks w/o so much as a call. A lot of the time when I heard from her again, she would be at some new apartment, moving from place to place. I figure she will never learn (dumb on my part) and take very little action legally.

What I did do was get a parenting plan and child support agreement signed by her, I, and the Notary Public. At the time she was in-between places, didn't have a phone, between jobs, etc. It was a different excuse all the time. I needed to get pay-stubs from her in order to get this paper filed with the court. After being ran around so much I said forget it (like an idiot), and packed the papers away. I still have them. Signed and sealed by all parties, but never delivered and filed with the court. Is this form in anyway still valid or is it useless now?

We had a agreement that I would be the primary parent and that wherever I lived would be his legal residence. We worked out days and such that we would each have him. Now he is going to be starting school soon and it's a big issue for me because I feel like he will get better care with me during the school year. His mom has since been married and had another kid by this man. She also abandoned her oldest child who was 4 at the time to move out to Colorado (from Washington). She has lived in more places over the course of the 5 years she has been out here than I have my whole life. That has to be a good point to make in court right?

She seems to have straightened up a bit but I still question her decision making and punctuality as she sometimes forgets what days she needs to come get him. And she really only started coming around when she found out she was pregnant again by this other guy and couldn't go out "binge-drinking" anymore.

She and her hubby are moving to Greeley in January which is quite a ways from Denver (where I live), and want to enroll him in school up there.

Tonight was the 1st night that we really discussed this and when we don't see eye to eye on things, it gets pretty loud. I recorder the convo we had tonight and I got her on tape admitting to not being a good mother in the past and stating that I am a great father. Can that be used in court? My main goal is not to take my son from his mom but to remain the primary guardian and have him for the school year (giving him to her on weekends, and sharing vacation/holidays). She says the same but wants to have him for school. Also, about 9 months after Isaac was born I moved back to my parents house and have been there since about April '04. We have a great family life here but she keeps bringing that up as if it were a crutch for me. Do courts frown upon people who are at home still (and note: it's not that I can't afford to move out, it's that I want to finish paying off my car so thatI have one less bill to worry about)? Any legal advice would be greatly appreciated.