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yes, there's a co - it use to be 85/15 but now its 70/30 (us being 70%).  She won't pay anything - so we ask her if we'll pay half of an extracurricular activity, will she pay half (we just want the kids to get to do stuff like soccer).  She says she'll pay 1/2 but then doesn't.  

A good example is from last year before she started working.  DH and I both work so I told her if she'd take the kids to get their school stuff/backpacks, I'd pay half (I hate shopping, and she had the time).  I know CS is for this (we pay her 500.00 /mo) but she was really struggling financially and I didn't want to shop!
She agreed readily but then took off to the water park and spent the money there.

Our state is shared custody so Dh has never had EOW - he's always had equal time from the divorce on.

This is probably a worn out topic.

My DH is a great, involved dad to three great kids -all under age 10, all girls.  He has joint/shared custody - a three day rotation schedule - but BM is "custodial parent"; however, he's had them more nights each year for the past 3 years than BM has - mainly due to BM's issues - she's had stalkers, hospitalizations and out of town boyfriends.

Here's our biggest issues and what he included in a letter he sent to her certfied mail while she was on vacation (and in town) but she refused to pick up the letter.  

When they discuss things in advance, such as soccer enrollment, BM has agreed to pay for things and then won't give DH the money.  For example, even though CS is meant to cover extra-curricular activities, school supplies, or clothes, DH will discuss with BM and they agree to each pay half.  DH pays the full amount and then when he tries to get her share, she tells him off.

Last year when she was not working, and the kids needed backpacks I suggested that Dh and I pay half for them if she would take them.  She agreed readily and I was happy since I wouldn't have to take htem shopping in all the craziness of back to school.  Instead of taking them to look for backpacks, she took the money and took them to the waterpark for the day.  That was two days before school started...the following day Dh and I took them to get backpacks.  She still refuses to reimburse us any of the money!

Its not like we haven't done a lot for her - we paid a huge chunk on her mortgage to help out and give the kids stability.  We waited over six months after she got a good job (her first decent job) before asking for  reduction in CS....

So, anyway, he quit paying for things in advance - although it breaks his heart because the kids won't get to play soccer or do karate and such.

The other issue is medical/dental appts and medicines.  BM won't take them or schedule appts or buy maint. meds for the one eldest child.  She'll call the night before and tell us she can't get off work, even though she's been notified months in advance.

So, DH has sent the cerf letter, as outlined in the CO, when there are issues of disagreement and she won't get it.  When he tries to talk to her on the phone, she gets beligerent and denigrating with the children present.

We want to file for custodial placement and contempt of court - on these issues and others.  

Any thoughts, suggestions?  WE are in WV.