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Just real quick... the BM of my SS's tried the same thing with daycare... telling us that her friend was going to be watching them and she would only be charging $60 a week, $30/$30, and she would provide receipts. Well we were quite fishy about BM actually contributing anything (there were also other issues with this friend), but my DH talked to the friend and worked out some issues and told BM it would be ok, but that he would need her social security number so he could claim what he was paying for CS on taxes and ... my goodness... all of a sudden this friend would do it for free! *rolling eyes*... sometimes just asking for certain information lets people know they COULD get linked to fraud... and they want no part of it.

Good luck.

oooohhhh, gotcha.

Again, thanks for your thoughts :)

Thanks so much for your candidness. I appreciate it.

I agree that there are so many things that change depending on gender, but I don't think I understand what you mean by that if the genders were reversed, more than likely this question would not come up?

I don't want to read this the wrong way, if you could explain maybe I can understand it.

Thanks.

I totally understand. I actually happen to lean toward agreeing with you guys. In the paperwork, it actually states that "beacuse each parent will have equal parenting time, there will be no child support assigned to either parent". So where the question lies (between me and my DH) is because she has gone from their BM having the kids every weekend, every 3 day weekend, and all vacations and all summer break, to her having them EOW, no 3 day weekends, and 1/2 of the summer break (by her written agreement)... should child support be brought back up?

I do understand what you are saying... I guess I'm just trying to hear some opinions for me (as the stepmom) to have in the back of my mind when talking to my DH about the subject.

Thanks!

I'm the stepmom to two wonderful boys (9 and 12) who reside with DH and myself during the school year (with BM EOW) and 1/2 of the summer. We are in AZ. Both SS's have monthly medical expenses which DH and I cover and wait to get reimbursed from BM until she feels like paying. When school started this year, we made a list of the school clothes the kids were going to need approx. costs for a heads up for her and let her know that we would be submitting the actual receipts when the items were purchased. She responded with a lenghty email about how we are the ones who wanted the boys to "live with us" and that she wasn't going to pay anything towards their living expenses while they are "with us".

In the agreed upon paperwork (written up and signed at mediation), child support was agreed to be $0 being paid by either parent (the reason was because they would both "have" the children close to equal amounts). Since then, as stated above, she has them EOW and 1/2 of the summer. Which actually seems to be working ok for everyone emotionally (kids included), but she is still unwilling to help out financially when it comes to school expenses. My husband and I have gone around and around when it comes to whether we should ask for child support for the boys or if it would cause too much friction. We are able to support them with their needs, but like many others, we do have to restrict them from participating in activities because of lack of funds on our part.

Ok, so here are the acutal questions:

1. How long does it take (documenting everything) to establish a pattern of her unwillingness to help support the kids?

2. In your experience, does it make sense for us to just let the child support issue go and just raise them the best we can? Or to potentially start making an okay situation very bad for the sake of allowing the children to have the best childhood possible (with all parents contributing)?

Thanks so much for your thoughts!

This is quoted from the Child Support Guidelines in Maricopa County... I am so not a lawyer, but have done a lot of research for myself and my husband in Maricopa County...

"Generally, the court should not attribute income greater than what would have been earned from full-time employment. Each parent should have the choice of working additional hours through overtime or at a second job without increasing the child support award. The court may, however, consider income actually earned that is greater than would have been earned by full-time employment if that income was historically earned from a regular schedule and is anticipated to continue into the future."

My personal opinion and my experience is that unless they can prove that this "extra" income was earned "historically" and will continue... it shouldn't be included in your income for child support purposes. With the housing market leveling off in the valley, I think it would be easy to prove that the high real estate income you may have made in the past few years is not going to continue at that same rate.

That's just my opinion! Thanks.

I realize this message was for Soc, but I have to agree with 4honor... when my DH and I enrolled my SS's in school, they actually asked for copies of the court docs (regarding visitation) for the kids' files. I've also learned that when "dealing" with school systems... there is a lot of hand-holding needed to accomplish most anything! Good luck.

Hello Soc,

I'm the stepmom to two wonderful boys (9 and 12) who reside with DH and myself during the school year (with BM EOW) and 1/2 of the summer. We are in AZ. Both SS's have monthly medical expenses which DH and I cover and wait to get reimbursed from BM until she feels like paying. When school started this year, we made a list of the school clothes the kids were going to need approx. costs for a heads up for her and let her know that we would be submitting the actual receipts when the items were purchased. She responded with a lenghty email about how we are the ones who wanted the boys to "live with us" and that she wasn't going to pay anything towards their living expenses while they are "with us".

In the agreed upon paperwork (written up and signed at mediation), child support was agreed to be $0 being paid by either parent (the reason was because they would both "have" the children close to equal amounts). Since then, as stated above, she has them EOW and 1/2 of the summer. Which actually seems to be working ok for everyone emotionally (kids included), but she is still unwilling to help out financially when it comes to school expenses. My husband and I have gone around and around when it comes to whether we should ask for child support for the boys or if it would cause too much friction. We are able to support them with their needs, but like many others, we do have to restrict them from participating in activities because of lack of funds on our part.

Ok, so here are the acutal questions:

1. How long does it take (documenting everything) to establish a pattern of her unwillingness to help support the kids?

2. In your experience, does it make sense for us to just let the child support issue go and just raise them the best we can? Or to potentially start making an okay situation very bad for the sake of allowing the children to have the best childhood possible (with all parents contributing)?

Thanks so much for your insight!

Burry