Messages

All parties live in AL.  I am taking BM back to court to try to get custody of my children.  How big of a part does school performance have in the decision involving custody?  My son was held back in kindergarten and now his 1st grade teacher is saying that he will fail this year if something doesn't change quickly.  He is also having discipline problems at school.  I know that BM does not work with him at home but makes my other two daughters do it.  The teachers and administrators refuse to communicate with me about my sons grades and behavior.  I think that BM told them not to release any information to me even though we have joint custody (we get all of our school information about the kids through my oldest daughter).  Just wanted to see how you think the judge would consider this information when we go back to court.

Thanks!!!

Your situation is similar to mine.  I went to conference day at the beginning of the school year for my two younger children.  I spoke with both teachers at that time and they told me how each one was doing.  Now they won't tell me anything.  I have tried emailing their teachers and neither one will respond.  I have a feeling that BM went to the school and said something.

The way that I found all of this out was when my 7 year old son was choking on a quarter at school and I got a phone call from my 16 year old daughter telling me what was going on.  They could not reach BM because she was at school over an hour away and had no cell phone.  I rushed to the school to find out that I could not check him out and I was not on the emergency contact list.  All the principal would tell me was that I needed to take this up with BM.

Why would my lawyer suggest that I need to write BM a letter asking for permission to put my name on the list when I could just take the papers up to the school?  The way he made it sound was that she has control over who is on the list and who isn't.

Thank you for all of the suggestions!!!
Kuttn

I have joint custody of my 3 children but BM has primary care over them.  What are my rights as far as being able to check them in and out of school?  BM did not put me on the emergency contact list nor did she put me on the list of people that are able to check them in or out.  There are no other relatives that live here.  The closest ones are 2 and a half hours away.  She did put my 16 year old daughter on the list but she does not have a car and BM goes to college over an hour away.  I was advised by my attorney to write a nice letter to BM asking her to put me on the list.  Of course I did that and she said no.  Does she have complete say so in this?  We live in Alabama (didn't know if you needed to know that or not).

Thanks,
Kuttn

I have 3 children ages 16,12, and 7.  I am the NCP.  This weekend my children came to stay with me.  I had a long talk with my 16 year old daughter.  She is basically the "mother" at BM's house to my other two children.  She said that BM is never at home and that she (my daughter) does all of the cooking, cleaning, and helping the other two with school work.  She said that when BM is actually home, she invites her BF over and doesn't spend time with them.  She told me how miserable she is at her mother's house and how she wants to come live with me.  She does not want to leave her brother and sister in fear that no one will take care of them.  She willingly told me that she would testify against her mother if needed.

My first question is what is the age in Alabama in which a child is old enough to decide which parent they want to live with?  My other question is would the judge actually listen to what my 16 year old daughter has to say or do I need actual "proof" that my children are being neglected?