Rights to checking children in and out of school

[kuttn]

I have joint custody of my 3 children but BM has primary care over them.  What are my rights as far as being able to check them in and out of school?  BM did not put me on the emergency contact list nor did she put me on the list of people that are able to check them in or out.  There are no other relatives that live here.  The closest ones are 2 and a half hours away.  She did put my 16 year old daughter on the list but she does not have a car and BM goes to college over an hour away.  I was advised by my attorney to write a nice letter to BM asking her to put me on the list.  Of course I did that and she said no.  Does she have complete say so in this?  We live in Alabama (didn't know if you needed to know that or not).

Thanks,
Kuttn

[4honor]

When BM would not put DH on the emergency contact card we provided a certified copy of the parenitng plan (which spells out custody) to the school. They were required to do as asked unless BM could show that DH was not allowed information or to be placed on the emergency list. The Court orders did not back her position. DH has joint legal custody. Our state is WA. We could have refused to provide the copy of orders, but it would have taken 100 times longer for them to confirm his right to information and to be listed.

You can posture and get all legal on their fannies, or you can "facilitate" their cooperation.

[FLMom]

Father is CP, and I, mother, am NCP. We have joint legal custody in FL.

When this situation presented itself with us, it was in a phone conversation with the school. They refused to give me any information about the children's classes or teachers. The next day I went to the school with a copy of the orders stating "joint legal custody".

In our case, the school felt like they'd been rooked by the other parent. Not only did they pull out the file and show me the paperwork where he had left the spot for my information blank, but they stated that I was entitled to copies of all paperwork on file due to legalities (I think it's FERPA).

In our case, it helped us later on to have proof of this action as a direct violation of the spirit of "joint custody". Document, document, document.

Soc, I believe you were the one who told me to go to the school with a copy of the order. Even though it's been a couple years, thank you again!!!! I haven't had a "school" issue since.

Sincerely,
FLMom

[burry]

I realize this message was for Soc, but I have to agree with 4honor... when my DH and I enrolled my SS's in school, they actually asked for copies of the court docs (regarding visitation) for the kids' files. I've also learned that when "dealing" with school systems... there is a lot of hand-holding needed to accomplish most anything! Good luck.

[kuttn]

Your situation is similar to mine.  I went to conference day at the beginning of the school year for my two younger children.  I spoke with both teachers at that time and they told me how each one was doing.  Now they won't tell me anything.  I have tried emailing their teachers and neither one will respond.  I have a feeling that BM went to the school and said something.

The way that I found all of this out was when my 7 year old son was choking on a quarter at school and I got a phone call from my 16 year old daughter telling me what was going on.  They could not reach BM because she was at school over an hour away and had no cell phone.  I rushed to the school to find out that I could not check him out and I was not on the emergency contact list.  All the principal would tell me was that I needed to take this up with BM.

Why would my lawyer suggest that I need to write BM a letter asking for permission to put my name on the list when I could just take the papers up to the school?  The way he made it sound was that she has control over who is on the list and who isn't.

Thank you for all of the suggestions!!!
Kuttn

[socrateaser]

>Why would my lawyer suggest that I need to write BM a letter
>asking for permission to put my name on the list when I could
>just take the papers up to the school?  

Because if your ex said "no" in writing, that would probably be evidence of contempt for frustrating your legal custody rights.

Get a copy of your orders and make an appointment to visit with the school principal. Be nice, and you will get cooperation and your name on the contact list without any fuss.