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I said a prayer for you.

You could have your husband adopt your child.  This would relieve the biofather of all child support obligation and he would lose all rights to the child.  If you and your husband divorce, your husband would be responsible for child support.  The adoption would give the child the name change you desire.

After 19 years of child support, we were finally emancipated in February of 2008 due to the child graduating early.  We were never notified by the school or the PBFH and ended up overpaying by a month.  CS office says they will send her a letter to ask her to refund us the overpayment, but we know we have no recourse and she will keep the money.  It took less than a week for our cs account to close permanently.  

We had kept a copy of every single cs payment made, every court order, letters, school records, insurance, threats, phone records, police reports, basically over 5,000 pages that we went through over the weekend before throwing everything in the fire.  We discovered in 19 years that PBFH was NEVER held responsible for any of threats made by her, we NEVER had a paternity test (husband lost by default), she never paid her attorneys and we saw her one time in 19 years.  

After paying $100,000 for 19 years to a child we have never seen or will never know is DH's and $20,000 in legal fees, we are moving on with our fabulous life.

The best advice I have been given on this site is "The fact that PBFH will have to be herself for the rest of her life is her own life sentence of self-punishment".  So true, since PBFH later married and refused to have her husband adopt the child, because she wanted 18 more years of child support.  She said if he was dumb enough to believe she was on birth control, he was dumb enough to pay her cs.  Her husband cheated on her, she filed for bankruptcy, house foreclosures, and her latest blogs on myspace on how miserable her life is.... (all info available on internet).  The second best advice was "When one person stops playing the game, the game is over".  Instead of reacting to all her malicious instigating, we decided to have no contact whatsoever.  The first year, every day was a harrassment, the second year, every week, third year, every month, until finally we had absolute silence for the last 13 years.  We never answered a phone message and never answered letters.  We put all our bills, cars, house in another name so she had no access to us.  The only contact she had was a p.o. box and our attorney.    

I will never know why we had to deal with this PBFH, who had no morals, ethics, values or basic human decency.  I wish I could prevent other men from having one night stands, so they don't have to go through the mental and financial pain we went through.  And yes, we forgave her a long time ago, it was for our benefit, not hers.  Today, we are forever free.

Signing off in Texas!

When you stop playing the game, the game is over.  

Once you make the decision to have no contact with BM, it is the exact same as terminating rights, because you are doing it on your own behalf.  For every action, there is a reaction.  Live your life based on your rules, not BM's.  Be active, not reactive.  

DNA Shows Man Who Paid Child Support to Amber Frey Wasn't Child's Father

Sept. 22, 2005 — A DNA test has shown that a man who was paying child support to Scott Peterson's former mistress Amber Frey is not her child's biological father.

Anthony Flores, 29, has been paying $175 a month child support for almost four years, but a DNA test found that there was 99.9 percent chance that another man fathered Frey's 4-year-old daughter. A Madera County, Calif., Court judge ruled Monday that child services should drop efforts to continue collecting child support payments from Flores as DNA tests found that the probable father of Frey's daughter was Modesto, Calif., restaurant owner Christopher Funch.

At a press conference after the ruling, Flores said he was satisfied with the ruling but felt deceived by Frey. He said he had been thrust into the public eye because of Frey's references to him in her book, "Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution of Scott Peterson."

"I feel foolish and I feel betrayed," Flores said. "I otherwise feel I was being cheated on. She was very convincing when she told me I was the only person who could be the father.

"It puts me in a position where there's a lot of questions now I'd like to have answered," Flores continued. "I want an apology."


Former Frey Attorney: Former Biological Father to Blame, Too

Amber Frey and Christopher Funch have not commented publicly on the ruling. Attorney Gloria Allred, who represented Frey during the Peterson investigation and trial but was not involved in the child support case, defended Frey.

"Amber in good faith always believed that Mr. Flores was her child's father," she told The Modesto Bee.

"Only after the results of a recent DNA test taken by the true biological father did Amber realize that Mr. Flores was not the father of her child," Allred said. "To the best of Amber's knowledge, Mr. Flores did not [take a test] and ... he needs to take responsibility for his failure to do so."

http://abcnews.go.com/US/LegalCenter/story?id=1149018&page=1&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

More:

Court Commissioner Nancy Staggs ordered the county to stop collecting support from Flores. He'll receive a refund of money paid since Funch passed the paternity test in late June.

Wilson alleged that Frey deliberately lied in a bid "to get him [Flores] to marry her" after he dumped her.

Flores told Frey he was "not ready to be a father" and gave her $450 to pay for an abortion, Wilson says.

But in her recent tell-all book, "Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution of Scott Peterson," Frey said she never considered terminating the pregnancy.

"Well, she took the money," says Wilson. "It says a lot about her credibility."

Wilson said he thinks Frey "had to have known" all along that she had slept with Funch around the time her daughter Ayanna was conceived.

Still, Frey took Flores to court for support and when he fell behind at times, the state took away his driver's license. Frey also called him "a deadbeat dad" in interviews.

Flores, who still calls the child "my daughter," fought for visitation with the child. When Frey refused, Wilson says he notified the court he planned to seek a paternity test. Soon, Wilson was notified that, "lo and behold," Funch was the daddy.

"Anthony is hurt and stunned by this," Wilson says. "He still refers to the child as 'my daughter.' And his mother thought she had a grandchild. They were lied to."

This is my life.

My DH never showed up for the paternity suit.  So the mother won by default.  16 years later, we have had no contact with the mother or the child, but have been current on all child support payments.   Because of the default judgement no paternity test was ever done.

Biomom never even knew my DH's last name and her lawyer had to call his work to find out.  Biomom can't tell her child what religion, nationality, education, family or any information on my DH to tell her child.  Biomom has never contacted DH, no picture of the child, no update, no nothing.  


We have to pay cs for 3 more years and then we are emancipated.  The biomom had the chance to have the child adopted 14 years ago by her husband, but refused because she wanted 18 years of child support money.  PBFH doesn't even begin to describe this woman.  

In the end, we will have paid $100,000 for a child that we will never know is DH's.  DH never wants to meet this child after emanicipation, nor does he want to rehash the past abuses of this woman.  Biomom created this situation out of unbelievable selfishness and greed and our only way to survive was to have zero contact and pay up.


Just because the law supports women that purposely trap men into fatherhood against their knowledge or consent, basically lying that that are on birth control when they have full knowledge of their intent to get pregnant, is that women's legal rights are not moral rights.  Not only did biomom victimize my DH, she also victimized her child.  A one night stand does not a husband or father make.  Consent to sex is not consent to fatherhood.  If feminists want us to believe the opposite, then men must believe that all women are liars and are not on birth control.  

What child wants to grow up with the realization that they were not born out of love, but were born out of lies and deceit?

We do not hate them, we love them because Christ loves us.  We forgive them, because Christ forgives us.  

Recently I went shopping with my boys to Half Price Books here in Dallas and they had the mugs that said "Boys are stupid throw rocks at them" and having learned about this on this site, I complained to the manager and he agreed with me and removed all the items from the store.  He said they get items that did not sell well at other department stores and they sell them at clearance prices.  

It's not enough for them to remove the offensive merchandise by having discount stores sell them instead.  This merchandise should not be created in the first place!   Thanks, Brent for pursuing this cause.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html

Article today on Foxnews.com

I've e-mailed the author before requesting for her to use the term deadbeat parent and sent her a message again asking her why she refuses to do this.  Most probably, because she is a feminist and has written books on feminism.  How can she be fair in her article to say in defense of someone she is slamming as a deadbeat?  No mention of women as deadbeats was ever mentioned in her article.  Also, how is it that their plight of being in debtors prison is coming to light just because the prisons are becoming overcrowded?  

If you send a reply it to the author it automatically cc:'s FoxNews.  

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html

Article today on Foxnews.com

I've e-mailed the author before requesting for her to use the term deadbeat parent and sent her a message again asking her why she refuses to do this.  Most probably, because she is a feminist and has written books on feminism.  How can she be fair in her article to say in defense of someone she is slamming as a deadbeat?  No mention of women as deadbeats was ever mentioned in her article.  Also, how is it that their plight of being in debtors prison is coming to light just because the prisons are becoming overcrowded?  

If you send a reply it to the author it automatically cc:'s FoxNews.  

Since she broke her promise to return the money, all bets are off the table.  Get full custody, get a lawyer and document.  If the tables were turned and you had custody, she would be paying you child support.  This will help you pay for the lawyer fees.