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Well, my husband doesn't have a job and has told me he won't be able to pay support. He is trying to get disability and has been trying to for 4 years now. He's been turned down 2 times with an attorney he is waiting on the 3rd appeal. I'm really not worried about the support and I wouldn't keep the kids from him because he's not able to pay.  He does what he can to make money on the side which I know is illegal but I can't stop him.

He has been staying with the kids while I work through the week and when I call home he is always laying on the couch and half the time he is sleeping or he isn't even there and left the 12  and 9 year old home to watch the 2 year old. Then he was supposed to have them this weekend but decided he needed a break. Yet, he tells me he'd like to have custody of them.

I really don't think the same attorney will work anyway. It's like a roller coaster with him, everyday is a different story. I don't know, there is so much confusion right now. There's no telling what tomorrow brings. Thanks for the responses. :)

I live in Missouri and me and my husband are going to get a divorce. We have 3 children together. We know an attorney and we have used her in the past for custody of my husbands daughter and she said she would do our divorce for $500 and we pay the filing fee as long as it's not contested.  

The judge in our county does not grant shared custody. My husband has talked about having joint legal and physical custody and I explained to him that I thought one of use would still be the primary one with physical custody and he doesn't like that. I have been that one that has had most of the responsiblities of taking care of our children and I would want to be the one with primary physical custody. Honestly, I think he just doesn't want to pay child support. I'm not worried about child support because I know I can support our children by myself because I'm doing it right now.

My husband is also in the middle of a huge mess. His 16 year old daughter accused him of raping her and he has been to jail and has an attorney. I don't think he did it. I know that sounds crazy, but I'm really confused about what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Is it possible to get the temp custody order on my own?

Thanks, I really appreciate the replies and the book you recommended.

So basically I'm SOL either way? If I mention he has been working for cash for 4 years I go to jail...if I say he hasn't had income then it will probably mean I have to pay for the divorce and won't get the child support amount my kids are entitled too?

My husband has worked for cash for the last 4 years. I'm the only one showing income.

Will an attorney ask for money up front? Because I don't have it and I know my husband doesn't. I would have it at tax time but that is so far away.

I'm just so confused, one day he talks about making it work and the next day he has changed his mind. We've done this many times and this has been the longest he has stayed gone. 5 nights now.  I really don't think we will ever stop fighting about the same stupid little things and I think I've made my mind up that it won't ever work, but then I feel sorry for him and consider taking him back and trying to make it work.

I don't want to piss him off by getting a temp order because I know it will, but I guess that's what I need to do.

I live in Missouri. My husband moved out Saturday.  We have 3 kids together and his 16 year old daughter lives with us. She went with him. She was also the one watching our 2 year old son for the summer.

Now I'm looking for someone to watch him. I asked him if he could help out on daycare and he said no because he has to figure out what he is going to do and find a place to rent. I also asked him when he wanted to see his kids, either on the weekends he has his daughter or the weekends he doesn't have her and he said he didn't want to worry about that until he figures out what he is going to do and that there isn't any room at his moms house for them to come and stay a weekend.

He works for cash and I bring home close to double what he brings home. I also pay $76 every two weeks for me and him to have medical insurance.

He fixed the air conditioner Monday and then again on Tuesday and paid for the parts to fix it (around $100 I think).

I asked him today if he was going to pay half the cell phone bill and he said no and that he would give it back. Then he told me that Rent n' go wants 30 dollars to move his big screen tv from our house to his moms and I asked him if he was planning on keeping it and continuing to pay the 108 dollars a month for it and he said yes. So I said, "You can't help with daycare or pay half the cell phone bill but you can keep your tv and pay 108 dollars for it?" and he said yes.

One minute he calls or comes over and he is real nice and the next he is saying mean and hateful things. He is the one who chose to leave. He says we just don't get along anymore and then the next day he acts like it was my decision for him to leave and wants to know if want to try and work it out and then in a matter of minutes he can change his mind and start being sarcastic and saying things to try and get under my skin.

He shows up at our house whenever he wants and walks right in, yet he refuses to help me with daycare, his cell phone, or any other bills. I've only asked for half the cell bill and help with daycare. I know he fixed the AC but he asked me if I wanted him to and I told him I would call someone, so yeah he did save me the money I would have had to pay someone else.

Anyway, now that I've rattled on I was wondering what I should do. I want to be nice and not have an ugly divorce. But I think he needs to at least have visitation established and not just show up when he feels like it. All we do is argue when he is here anyway and it's not good for the kids.

Thanks