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My husband is being taken back to court for a modification on CS.  We used the spreadsheets to determine that she will be able to get an increase.  Here is the problem:  she moved leaving no forwarding address or phone number and the kids did not contact us for visitation.  We did not pursue the matter due to the increasing refusal of the kids to visit anyway (11yr and 16yr).  Prior to 1 year ago, we had always at least called and tried to get the boys to come.  As of 1 yr ago when she moved, we couldn't reach them, but we also didn't really try to track them down, either.  The court is supposed to take into account how many days the father exercises visitation in setting CS.  Will the court punish my husband for not trying to track down an address and phone number to attempt to exercise visitation?  Will they say he exercised NO visitation (true), without taking into account the boys' refusal to come, and then their mom moving and hubby being unable to contact them?  Any answers/ advice is welcomed. thanks.

We finally requested a custody change.  It's been over 2 years since DH last saw his sons.  Denial of access, multiple moves, changing phone numbers.  Been there, done that.  The only reason DH was able to request a custody change is because his ex decided to file for an increase in CS since he hasn't exercised visitation.  We are going to burn her in court, too, because we enlisted the help of her last two ex- husbands to put together proof of all the changing addresses and phone numbers.  She just remarried the 6th guy.  #5 and #4 helped us.  DH was #2. Anyhow, we went down the gradual alienation road to the point where we are today.  Our court date for her increased CS request and our request for a change of custody due to denial of access goes to court Nov. 10.  I think it will go well because not only has she obviously denied access, but unfortunately the boys' school records (attendance, grades, disciplinary record) are abysmal.  The older one dropped out of HS one month before graduating.  The younger one has been in school for all of 2 weeks and already had in school suspensions twice.  She should have just kept moving and changing numbers instead of getting greedy.  And, BTW, I have found out that if she moves again in the future, we can go through the courts to find out her address through child support services.  We didn't know this, as they tell us they can't give us that information.  Apparently, they can if a judge orders it.  Hope this gives you perspective.  We honestly aren't getting our hopes up, because the courts have always sided with her single working mom martyr image.  But our ace up our sleeve this time is the testimony of her two adult children, my DH's ex- stepkids (Children she had with her 1st husband.)  My DH has always continued to be a loving dad towards those kids the past 15 years even though he was only their stepdad for the 3 years he was with their mom.  They are going to court with us to explain how their mom attempted to alienate them against DH, and used the fact that they weren't his bio kids to deny access when it suited her.  (Not to mention a host of other testimony against her to prove her unfit- drug and alcohol abuse, etc.)  Unless you have some really strong evidence against her as a parent, or really strong evidence of alienation, you probably won't win custody.  Read Divorce Poison, and if you still think you have a case, explain your situation to a good family law attorney and see what he or she thinks.  Good luck.

Congratulations!  How wonderful for you!  My ncp husband and I envy you! (His kids are subjected to PAS by mom, who is custodial) :-)