Does anyone know the answers?

[KatieJJ]

My husband is being taken back to court for a modification on CS.  We used the spreadsheets to determine that she will be able to get an increase.  Here is the problem:  she moved leaving no forwarding address or phone number and the kids did not contact us for visitation.  We did not pursue the matter due to the increasing refusal of the kids to visit anyway (11yr and 16yr).  Prior to 1 year ago, we had always at least called and tried to get the boys to come.  As of 1 yr ago when she moved, we couldn't reach them, but we also didn't really try to track them down, either.  The court is supposed to take into account how many days the father exercises visitation in setting CS.  Will the court punish my husband for not trying to track down an address and phone number to attempt to exercise visitation?  Will they say he exercised NO visitation (true), without taking into account the boys' refusal to come, and then their mom moving and hubby being unable to contact them?  Any answers/ advice is welcomed. thanks.

[gemini3]

I can't claim to have the answers, and I'm not an attorney so I'm not giving legal advice, but here's my take on your situation:

I don't know what state you're in, but in most states child support and visitation are completely seperate issues EXCEPT in cases where the amount of visitation qualifies the NCP for shared support calculation.  I have never heard of basing a child support obligation on how many days a father exercises his visitation.  You can't get out of paying support by choosing not to exercise visitation.

I don't think the court would "punish" your husband for not trying to stay in touch with his kids in a child support hearing.  However, they're not going to cut him a break either.  Usually, this kind of behavior would be taken into account when there is a custody or visitation matter.

Now, just because the spreadsheets say that she would get an increase doesn't mean she'll get the increase.  There are other factors that go into the mix, such as change in circumstance.  You would need to consult an attorney in your state for help with determining these things.  You can also post more details of the situation here, and there may be someone in your state that can give you additional insight into the matter.

I would also recommend that your husband try and remain in contact with his children, and see them if possible.  He does have options.  The kids have probably been hurt by his lack of involvement in their lives.  I'm not saying it's your husband's fault, I'm saying that it's damaging to a child to not have a supportive relationship with both parents.  

That being said, it's never too late to reach out.  My father was absent for 10 years after my parents divorced.  It hurt, and I suffered a lot because of it.  Now, luckily, we have a healthy and loving relationship - but it took some time to rebuild.  I hate to see other kids and parents go through this.  You may be surprised at how far a couple of baby steps will take you.

Good luck.

[Lionheart]

I don't know where you are located, but in PA, the only modification given is for "substantial shared custody", or 40 % of the time, as determined by overnight stays only.  I think it amounhts to 140 overnights or more per year.  If that standard isn't met, DH in essence pays twice for time he does exercise visitation.

Research your state's CS guidelines -- you may be surprised what's contained in there.

[jenjen]

Not sure what state your in but, in my state the answer is YES if your not exercising your parenting time then she can recieve an increase in support, just as you could get a decrease if you have been exercising more parenting time (think it's 140hrs of over nites a year) you can check with the court for her adress, she should be required to notify the court of any adress change and if it's the old address send a certified letter anyway...so you have proof that you have been making an effort regardless of what the kids say....and actually if the kids dont want to see you you maybe able to use this as a plus for you. it raises the question as to why, you see the custodial parent has a duty to encourage the child to have a  relationship with you. if you ever wound up it court (real court not child support inforcement) the question can be asked of her what did she do to encourage the children to have a relationship with you. moving doesnt look good. no address. no phone number etc... she'll have to prove what effects she made.

[gemini3]

What state are you in?  I've never heard of a person's child support being increased because they weren't exercising parenting time.

I also think that it's misleading to say that you get a decrease in CS because you're exercising parenting time.  The decrease you get after so many hours of time is because, after that, you're considered to be sharing the support of the children - because you have to house, feed, clothe them, etc while they are with you.