Messages

Thank you for responding. As you can imagine I am in so much pain right now that I'm not sure what to do. This is long, but I feel my heart is being ripped out and I just need to talk.

I'm in PA and custody is first handled by hearing officers. We went in front of a hearing officer and our attorneys presented our case. We each then had a chance to speak. The hearing officer took notes and asked questions. She then had so many days to write up her recommendation. Her recommendation was sent to our attorneys and we had so many days to appeal. My x appealed. If he would of agreed it (the paper) would of went in front of a judge and he/she would of signed off and it would of become final. Because he appealed we now have to appear before a judge for a custody hearing. We have never had to do this before because he always let the hearing officer's decision stand. So I guess we are in for a custody fight. I received the paper work Friday after hours, so I have to wait until hopefully Monday perhaps Wednesday to talk to my attorney.

My ex went for full physical custody because I am a working mom and he is a stay at home/work out of the house dad. I should note that I am a school teacher and a perfect mom (if there can be. I mean I don't have men in and out and no drugs/alcohol.) So basicly it was all about the job. In front of the hearing officer I fought shared 50/50 custody due to school. I see how children are torn and the effect on education. So here's the hearing officer's decision:

Mom has primary custody. Dad gets every other weekend Fri 6pm- to Monday 4pm. Every Tues 8am-Wed 6Pm. Every other Fri 8am-4pm. Summers are equally shared. 2days with mom then 2 w Dad. 5 with mom 5w dad. 2 weeks vacation.

It seemed like a fair decision. He wants 50/50. The child will be going to school next year and he doesn't want her going to the school where I teach which happens to be our neighborhood school. Another reason for the fight. He also wanted to make things work and I refused. He cheated on me 2 times during the marriage and would not work things out. I waited over two years. Then this past summer I met someone and suddenly x waited to get back together. When I said no, he took me to court for custody.  So if I appear bitter I am because I know that no of this is for the right reasons.

I am so afraid of losing my child. Thank you for listening.

I was wondering what to expect in a custody hearing. We just went in front of a hearing officer and got her judgement. My X has appealed the decision and that puts us in front of a judge. I have not spoken to my attorney because I just received the paperwork today in the mail.

Does the hearing officer's decision sway the judge in any way?

What are strong reasons to modify custody?

My Ex is has joint custody and I have primary physical custody. In our current agreement , he has every Tuesday 4:30-Wed am (until she starts school and then it will be 4:30-8). Every other Friday (8-4) and every other weekend until Monday am.
Our current agreement has been in place since Oct 2005.
16 months ago my ex has quit his job and is selling items on ebay. He is taking me back to court because he wants primary custody during the school year because he is works out of his house and claims that he can provide better care for our child. I am a school teacher and our child will start K-garten next year in the school that I teach. I'm not sure what to think. I am very concerned because I do not want our child bounced back and forth during the school year. Consistency is extremely important to me.

Is a change of job reason enough to modify custody when a child will be starting school and "working" the exact same hours as the current custodial parent?

I'm looking for research that proves that children do better in school if they reside in the same house for the entire school week.

My ex husband is taking me back to court for 50/50 custody. We currently have a custody agreement that says the child will be returned on the weekday overnights that he keeps her when she starts kindergarten, which is next year. He currently gets her every Tuesday (4:30pm) into Wed (8:00am), every other weekend and every other Friday (8:00am-4:00pm). Since the child is not in school and he works from home, he watches her every Monday 8-4 and Tuesday he is now picking her up at 8am. I know that he needs time with her, but I feel that he is getting time and it is unfair to ask for more when she will be starting school next year. Our agreement is 3 years old and he quit his job to work on ebay about 1 1/2 ago. Now he is claiming that he is a stay at home dad and can provide more time.

The truth is that he is currently unhappy with the gf that he had the affair with that broke up the marriage and wanted another chance with me. When I said no, he threatened to take my daughter because "he wants more time with her". Meanwhile, he really just wants to hurt me because I am happy without him. He often returns her because he doesn't feel well and he has never used his 2 week summer vacation(6weeks total).  I have some documentation, but when we settled the first time I became lax on documenting because I just wanted to live.

So how hard is it to get 50/50 after a custody agreement has already been put into place and the child is older now and getting ready to go to school? Also does anyone know research for a place to look for articles that will help prove student achievement?