Research and advide needed

[luckystar]

I'm looking for research that proves that children do better in school if they reside in the same house for the entire school week.

My ex husband is taking me back to court for 50/50 custody. We currently have a custody agreement that says the child will be returned on the weekday overnights that he keeps her when she starts kindergarten, which is next year. He currently gets her every Tuesday (4:30pm) into Wed (8:00am), every other weekend and every other Friday (8:00am-4:00pm). Since the child is not in school and he works from home, he watches her every Monday 8-4 and Tuesday he is now picking her up at 8am. I know that he needs time with her, but I feel that he is getting time and it is unfair to ask for more when she will be starting school next year. Our agreement is 3 years old and he quit his job to work on ebay about 1 1/2 ago. Now he is claiming that he is a stay at home dad and can provide more time.

The truth is that he is currently unhappy with the gf that he had the affair with that broke up the marriage and wanted another chance with me. When I said no, he threatened to take my daughter because "he wants more time with her". Meanwhile, he really just wants to hurt me because I am happy without him. He often returns her because he doesn't feel well and he has never used his 2 week summer vacation(6weeks total).  I have some documentation, but when we settled the first time I became lax on documenting because I just wanted to live.

So how hard is it to get 50/50 after a custody agreement has already been put into place and the child is older now and getting ready to go to school? Also does anyone know research for a place to look for articles that will help prove student achievement?

[mistoffolees]

IMHO, you're wasting your time. The court isn't going to be interested in any research paper you provide - because they can't interview the author. Furthermore, all that research will tell you is some academic answer for a generic, average kid, NOT what's best for your own kid.

Rather, your interest SHOULD BE the welfare of the child. If you really think it's a bad idea, then ask for a custody evaluation and a full psychometric evaluation of the child and both parents when he files for custody. That will tell you what's best for your own child, not some generic, average child.

Going one step beyond that, it looks like you're using the child here to be vindictive. If he has more time to spend with the child and is willing to do it AND if the child is happy with the situation, then I don't think his request is unreasonable. Inherently, in circumstances where both parents are good parents and where they live close enough for it to be practical, my personal view is that 50:50 should be the default (unless the child isn't doing well with it for some reason). Some states are now writing that into their statutes.

And, yes, many children DO thrive on split custody. My daughter is doing extremely well with 50:50, although I personally think that alternating weeks works better than splitting the week would - at least for her.

[mistoffolees]

IMHO, you're wasting your time. The court isn't going to be interested in any research paper you provide - because they can't interview the author. Furthermore, all that research will tell you is some academic answer for a generic, average kid, NOT what's best for your own kid.

Rather, your interest SHOULD BE the welfare of the child. If you really think it's a bad idea, then ask for a custody evaluation and a full psychometric evaluation of the child and both parents when he files for custody. That will tell you what's best for your own child, not some generic, average child.

Going one step beyond that, it looks like you're using the child here to be vindictive. If he has more time to spend with the child and is willing to do it AND if the child is happy with the situation, then I don't think his request is unreasonable. Inherently, in circumstances where both parents are good parents and where they live close enough for it to be practical, my personal view is that 50:50 should be the default (unless the child isn't doing well with it for some reason). Some states are now writing that into their statutes.

And, yes, many children DO thrive on split custody. My daughter is doing extremely well with 50:50, although I personally think that alternating weeks works better than splitting the week would - at least for her.