Messages

Got it. Will let you know of the outcome...

You have been so helpful!  I will try that route. Of course, I don't want anything severe to happen to my ex, just want her to stop the behavior and respect my already DIMINISHED time with our daughter.

What do you mean when you say the"order is to be precise"? I have never filed contempt papers, so any advice or sample paperwork would be helpful. You could email me private if you can with the advice.

And if I do file the contempt issue, should that be sent to her attorney? Certified letter, protocols, etc.  How did you exactly paln your course of action?

Thank you for your responses.  We both have joint legal/physical custody, so no issue about CP/NCP. Our current parenting plan states "liberal communication" and that to me is too vague and has been violated by my ex since it's inception per divorce as per previous posts stated.

In my modified version, I AM specific as to what times to communicate and it was neutrally worded as to not offend.  I just want to know if anyone has had experience enforcing this when the ex is non-compliant?

The same questions apply to my "right of first refusal."  Has anyone had experience enforcing this issue too?

I suppose my only choice of action is to seek counsel, but even so, is that route FUTILE? Will I be paying out hard-earned money only to have the judge shake his finger at us and give out a verbal warning?

Or is dropping the whole matter the better alternative, live with the present circumstances of the current parenting plan, and KNOW that for the next 15 years, I have to fight battles that really shouldn't be an issue HAD a modified plan been agreed upon?

Would anyone consider reviewing my proposed MODIFIED parenting plan to see if I'm thorough? I read somewhere in this forum that I could submit it for review, just don't remember where to do that?

Thank you for your critical opinions. I have made the new document's language very neutral, non-threatening, and of course, reasonable. The parenting kit was very thourough in covering all aspects typically overseen in a parenting agreement.  I just added those elements to my existing plan to make it more comprehensive and sent a copy to my ex for her to peruse and review.

I am trying everything to appeal to my ex's senses before taking drastic measures, i.e. retaining counsel and being litagous. All I want is to safeguard my rights as a father and preserve a relationship with my daughter should the ex remarry.  I've read all the threads in this forum about how difficult, petty, malicious, and vindictive people can be in a custody issue, AND my ex is certainly that type of person given her most recent actions towards me.

For example, our parenting plan specifically states that "liberal communication" is to be encouraged and that the RIGHT OF FIRST REFUSAL be exercised.  My ex DOES NOT allow me any form of communication between my daughter on her custody week, nor does she inform me of when she's working, so that I have the opportunity to care for our daughter.  She simply "hides" our daughter at her mom's so that she can either work or sleep with her boyfriend at her apartment.  I have no idea of the WHERABOUTS of my daughter on her week because she ignores ALL forms of communication.  In fact, she sent me an e-mail stating that I have no right to know anything about my daughter's welfare during her time, AND that it is a privilege to even talk to my little girl should she grant it so.

I know it takes the two of us to make a parenting plan work, but I'm not satisfied with the current one and it has now become too vague on certain issues as our daughter gets older.

If my ex doesn't agree to the new parenting plan, or simply refuses to cooperate, what recourse do I have to enforce this issue? Do I retain counsel, push to go back to court, or is this all futile?  Those are the lingering questions, even though you posted some suggestions.  I will try to make use of your advice somehow...

I've searched this entire forum in reference to my question, but couldn't seem to find an answer, so I apologize if this situation is a repeat.

Divorce finalized June 2007 in Las Vegas, NV when child was 2 years old. Joint legal/physical custody, 50/50, no child support. One child, just turned 3 years old.

Background: I am now finding that the existing parenting agreement in place is lacking on some key elements that do not addresss school-related issues, step-parents, remarriage, AND some of the original elements of the parenting agreement are vague.  Vague enough that the BM consistently violates and ignores my rights.  Ironically, the threads that address the "contempt" issues seem to demonstrate that pursuing a "contempt" would be minimal if not futile ($250 award?) I want the agreement modified to be more comprehensive in lieu of the BM's potential change in circumstances, specifically moving in with her 51 year old boyfriend (she's 24) whom she had the affair with and plans for marriage. This will greatly affect my daughter's future as she gets older and is ready for school.

I revised my original parenting plan and modified it from scratch, retyping the document verbatum and inserting relevant info borrowed from Parenting.net's parenting agreement kit, specifically from the "comprehensive" and "permanent" word doc. plans. I am satisfied with what was produced. However, I don't think the ex will agree to sign. She still has an attorney, I do not, after paying off $2800 to divorce. I am seeking advice from family court mediation and will present my proposal for modification.

Questions: What would my next steps be in pursuing this issue? Even after proposing this plan with a family mediator, can my ex be forced to agree to the changes? Can the Courts intervene? Do I have to retain counsel to in order to be more effective? Living paycheck to paycheck limits my funds to afford an attorney.

I am trying to be more proactive in being INFORMED, so any help would be appreciated.

Ur probably right, but my ex isn't that savy enough to search the internet on her own and search the message boards.  I just needed to hear some others' thoughts on my situation.

Thnx for your input. In hindsight, I will certainly be more aggressive. I am so tired of having to battle her every other week, just to be a father to my child...

Thank you for responding.  I feel a little bit more confident now.  At least I can be comfortable knowing that my sanity and logic are in check. I was very worried about her attorney's motion and all the allegations in the document.

I appreciate any more insight should you feel inclined to do so.

Joseph

Not sure if anyone can help with my Las Vegas situation.  Basically, my 24-year-old ex-wife is taking me back to court to modify the custody, specifically seeking temporary physical custody of our 3 year old girl.  As it stands right now, we both have 50/50, joint legal and physical, no child support, child alternates weeks between the both of us.  Divorce was finalized June 2007, so less than a year has lapsed.

Her attorney's basis for seeking a modification/change rests on text messages and email correspondence between my ex and myself, both denigrating each other, etc.  Her attorney is trying to build a case such that the text/email PORTRAYS me as some kind of "unfit" individual who needs to be psychologically evaluated, can't let go of the divorce, or has an extreme character flaw that if WORSENS, could jeopardize our child in a negative way, and so physical custody should be awarded to her.  A lot of allegations that I'm suicidal, abusive, etc. supported merely with text/email as evidence.

This line of action stems from a restraining order I had issued upon her for threatening behavior towards myself, daughter, and mother.  Her 55-year-old-doctor-boyfriend was also party to the threats, wanting to "kill me" for arguing with his "girlfriend".  I had my daughter for approxiamtely 2.5 weeks during the TPO phase.

Anyhow, the TPO was dissolved and I'm supposed to report back in Feb. to address the custody issue and any attorney's fees the ex had to pay to defend herself.  In my opinion, there is no concrete evidence against me: no CPS reports; no police reports, not even a police report attesting to my suicidal intentions; no domestic violence reports, nada, nothing.  The only thing against her was the TPO.

I work as a registered nurse, 2 full-time night jobs.  I don't drink, smoke, or gamble.  I have provided full-time insurance for our daughter since she was born.  The ex, on the other hand, makes twice my salary and bought the "cheapest" insurance to cover herself only.  Her insurance doesn't even cover the pediatrician's well-check visits.  She relies on my insurance.  The ex has never shared in the medical care of our daughter.  I have all the receipts and documentation.  I took the night positions to make myself more available to my daughter during the daytime.

I managed to retain the same attorney who handled the divorce and I am working hard to save for legal fees this coming battle.

My question:  Would the court likely find my ex in favor of primary physical custody BASED on text/email that paints my character as somebody psychologically unfit?  Her attorney has carefully crafted a series of events that may mislead anyone into thinking I'm a lunatic.  There is no abuse report of any kind, no CPS investigation, no domestic charges.  I would certainly submit to any kind of testing to ascertain my parenting abilities.

I neglected to mention that in my ex's motion, she blatantly states that I am not the biological father, and that at the time she and I were dating, I knew of other men in her life.  I was so upset to hear that.  Why would she wait 4 years to tell me that I'm not the father?  Basically then, I was "tricked" into caring for her during the pregnancy, paying for all the bills?

On my own volition, I paid $400 for a notarized paternity test that certifies me as the biological father.  Doesn't that by virtue make my ex suspect to being "psychologically unstable"? To vehemntly deny me as the father just to support her claims for primary custody?  She doesn't know that I had the paternity test done.  I am waiting to convey that info during court.

I just want to know what I'm facing or the chances of retaining 50/50 custody.