Messages

I forgot to mention- her income is 3x's mine.  and she is still fighting for 95% of everything.  But all of that is relative.  Our relation was based on a downward spiral of debt.  So, I guess 95% of 200,000.00 of debt is really a good deal for me.

Be grateful.  At least you get to speak to your daughter.  My children have been trained to say how much they hate me, I am not their father, and they never want to see me again.  I would give anything to know, from my children,  how they are doing.
This will make the second christmas I have been completely without my children.

I hear you.  I lived with a BPD for 15 years solely because I knew she would alienate me from my kids.  After I got into the marriage, I later learned that this had been a pattern with the other 2 fathers.  The natural father of my oldest gave up legal rights, and I adopted her because the real father  got tired of the constant alienation. I have not seen my youngest child for over a year now.  I pay way beyound what is legally required for child support.  The 1st draft of the divorce simply read, I want everything, and half of your retirement.  That is the way it seems to be going a year later.  My children refuse to talk to me, or either tell me they hate me and never want to see me again.  By the way, They told me many times each day, they loved me, when I lived in "her" house.

There was no sign or charges of any abuse, no dui's , no nothing.

My ex claims I am a drug addict.  I stopped taking anything except for advil. I was on pain meds from one doctor. I was retired medially by 4 doctors for neck pain.  I now refuse to take anything that she could use against me.

The tricky thing about BPD is that from the outside, the individual looks like a high functioning individual.  And if they are very bright, like my ex, lies and truth can be weaved to look valid.  Even if they are not, it is the father's responsibility to clear himself, without any recourse of the accuser.

Unless,  you have plenty of money for a attorney, walls come up everywhere.    They work for profit, not fairness.

The problem with severe alienation is no one believes it to be that bad.  I remember hearing stories of such, and go, no, that could never happen to me, my relation with my children is too strong.  Surely people will support me, because I have done way beyond what a normal dad would do. Surely, the legal system will not stand for this.  Surely all of the teachers, church, activities will supports me.     I could not believe how fast they all ran for cover.