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So, I got a letter in the mail today from my STBX's lawyer requesting a rehearing regarding ex-parte custody and a restraining order against me. She states that I have no license BUT have sporadically showed up at her residence unannounced (funny, if I can't drive, how does this happen?). She is the one driving around on suspended license. I have no vehicle of my own but have very reliable transportation through my father and others in my family. She also stated that my employment has been unstable, and that I have abused her in the past. Now the abusive part is all allegations and she has never ever filed domestic violence charges (or any other charges on me) in the past.

Any advice on what may happen here?

>Record her conversations when she's there if state law allows.
>Or make sure another adult is there when she drops gifts off
>or whatever. Her behavior in the presence of the child is
>absolutely relevant to the issue of custody. It would be nice
>if someone else besides you witnessed it.

Well, we are currently residing with my grandmother.  She witnessed her rage  and swearing in front of our child.  I had remained pretty stoic the whole time she was here, pretty much absorbing everything she had said and done.  Then when I felt things got too heated I told her to leave.

>Do NOT give her time with the child unless the court order
>specifies that she has visitation. If she makes a big enough
>issue of it, you might volunteer SUPERVISED visitation for
>her, but only if your attorney allows it.

As far as the court order, the only thing that I read was that I was granted temporary custody but there were no specifics on her visiting with him at all.
Also, I left the state of Ohio and moved in with family in Kentucky the day this whole mess happened and was granted the ex-parte temp. custody the following monday.  Now, I do not know Ohio's law regarding relocating but am I in the wrong for leaving the state with my child if I was designated as the temporary residential parent of the child?  My lawyer knew of this when I first filed for divorce/emergency ex-parte custody and I do recall asking him and I believe he said there would be no problem with it.  I will definitely be calling him tomorrow so we can arrange to meet and discuss my case more thoroughly.  
  Now, considering how horrible she performed tonight, should I cut off her visiting with him entirely until this goes to court or should I allow it and just let her dig herself deeper and start tape recording her every visit (discreetly).  I find that she easily loses it whenever she comes over and her actions seem very in despair.

Ok, so this evening she came to visit with our son and to bring him xmas gifts from her parents.  Now, she had came to visit with him and I had not means of talking about anything with her, yet she still picked and pried and asked why I was not allowing her to take him with her from time to time and why she must be forced to come here, to my current residence to see him.  I simply told her that I do not trust her and am only looking out for our sons own safety.  This made her angry and she began yelling in front of our child.  Her words were very angry and she used the F word several times in front of him as well.  I asked her to tone it down or leave.  She settled down a little and we started talking in a more civil manner.  She then went on to say 'what goes around comes around' and claims that she has a means of reversing the temporary custody order that I obtained and will soon have custody of our child.  She also stated that she has physical evidence that I have struck her but I know this cannot be true.  Bluffing?  Probably so.  I then asked her to be honest and to admit if she had been with this man prior to the event in which I caught her, and she still denies that but stated: 'afterwards, yes.  over and over again.  what I do is my business, not yours'    Now this is what leads me to believe she will more than likely subject our child to this type of behavior again and her merely seeing this man, while she has the child, is going to be detrimental to him.

Now, I was not able to physically document any of this aside from write it down in my 'journal'.  My question is, does this type of documentation provide me with any admissable evidence in court?  I have been told to document everything but could someone please define exactly what 'documenting' is as far as to what will be considered as evidence in court?

please, could we all get along?  I didnt post this to watch board members start attacking one another, I posted it to gain some insight to my own situation.  If you have something that is not directly related to a topic, don't post it.  Thank you :)

On a side note, I have a cousin who is very close to both of us and has tried to remain neutral in this whole situation.  My stbx called her that same day and confided in her as to what she has done.  I can definitely get her to testify as well should it come to it.  But again, she has no visual proof either.  Just word of mouth.  ><

And as for my stbx, I know her well enough to assume that she won't deny any of it.  She's pretty honest when it comes to being under oath in court (and yes, she has been to court several times for other minor things ((unrelated)).

ok, so this is where my problem will be.  Should she deny it (which I doubt she will), I have no proof at all.  Too bad I didnt think to run down to the store, grab a camera, then come back and hope they would still be at it.  I did however, grab an attourney just a few hours after the incident and get my affidavit on file.  This happened on a Friday and had to wait till Monday before it was seen by the court.  I was granted the order for temporary custody just 1.5 hours before my stbx had self-filed her own demand for temp. custody.  My affidavit detailed the situation and the order stated I had good reason to be given temp custody.
   As for proof, I have basically nothing to show in court as she doesn't email me and hasnt written anything to me that would suggest this happened.  So much for documenting things.  
  Anyway, thanks for the information everyone.  Much appreciated.

No, I'm sure they won't let him testify.  That's why I plan to have my lawyer ask the court to have him seen by a child counselor.  He has told me that he has seen his mother and this man 'love on each other' and 'tell secrets' before.  So hopefully, this will also be a big push in my direction.  

Thanks for the response.  I think it is going to be rather difficult for her to deny it as my father was the one that brought me home.  As soon as we pulled up to the house we both noticed this man's truck.  I walked in and saw the act and came straight back to the front door and told him what was going on.  Even though he didn't directly witness this, there is definitely no way my wife will try to deny anything.  Also my son woke up during the commotion and saw that this man was in bed with my wife.  

I came home early from work one morning last week and found my wife in bed with another man (a past friend of mine). Our 4 year old son was also in the same room they were in. I took off with our son, and sought advice from a lawyer that very same day. My filing went to court the following Monday and I was granted temporary custody of our child based on her being charged with: gross neglect of duty, extreme emotional cruelty and adultery. My affidavit also detailed how I came home and unexpectedly discovered her in bed with this man with our child in the same room. Also detailed was how she was rarely home in the evenings (we both worked day shift and my parents have always been the ones to watch our son while we worked).
Her reason for being gone every evening after work was that she was working for some of her friends doing office cleaning for extra money. And the times that she wasn't working she was 'visiting her parents' whom have never wanted anything to do with our son. I was alwways left to care for him while she was gone. I have no reason to believe that this was her only reason for being gone every day after working her main job. She supposedly received pay under the table and had no check stubs or any other proof of income from her said 'extra cleaning job'. I have had been suspecting she was having an affair with this man for some time but I was always accused of accusing her of it whenever I mentioned it. Sometimes she would take our son out to see this man and his family and when I asked him what mommy and *** was doing he would reply: Telling secrets and loving on each other. I probably shouldn't have pried him in anyway but I knew of no other way to get any info on what she really did over there.

After catching her in the act, she swears that this was the first time she had done anything but I dare not believe that. I think she is gaslighting because she has no other way out of it...she was caught red-handed and had no dark place to hide this. Her other excuse was: 'you accused me of it for so long that I felt if I'm going to be accused I might as well do it'. There is simply no logic to this at all. I asked her: 'If I accused you of beating the $^&^ out of our son would you do it?' She replied: No.

Now, my question is, what chances do I have in getting permanent residential custody of our child? This is all being filed in Ohio. I am sure she will fight this but not so sure on how she will be able to afford a lawyer so do not know what kind of defense she will have...I truly hope she doesn't. I know she will bring up how abusive I may have seemed in the past. I'll admit, we had our share of fights but not all were completely my blame. I have also reformed and we have not physically fought in well over a year. Also she has not once pressed charges on me for anything. And not once have I left any marks on her at all. Not sure how the court will handle this as she has no legal proof of anything in that manner. She was just as guilty as I as far as that goes.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!