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That is just typical puppy love stuff with your daugter and her boyfriend, right now the whole world revolves around him and she will do "anything " to be with him. You are her father and you have the responsibility to bring her up right. I agtree that the cell phone should be turned off and that you should call her mom at a certain time every night. There is no need for her to be text messaging her all day and night like one of her buddies she is her mother she should act like it. This should all calm down after school starts, right now she is just bored. stick to the vivitation you are legally bound to and nothing more. Don't alienate but don't capitulate either.

By residential do you mean physical custody? If you have full physical custody of your kids you shouldn't have any problems unless she has proof that you or your new wife are abusive, endangering the children or drug users.

Until a judge o.k's it nothing is for certain although it sounds like you've got this one in the bag. It is a legal thing for school, taxes, medical etc. The visitation is seperate and the judge can modify that as he or she sees fit. Basically it is recomendation that will carry significant weight with the judge. Do I have this right everyone?

That is awful. That is my worst fear that I will become just a paycheck as well, against my will of course. I wish I could give you some sort of advice but I am in the early stages of a custody battle so I do not have the experience to back up any advice I would give. I empathize with you graetly as I have already felyt the pain that seperation from your child can bring. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to hear those words come out of your daughter's mouth and know that she has been brainwashed and coached through two years of alienation from you by her mother. I can only say that you should not blame yourself, if you honestly have tried everything you could legally do then you cannot beat yourself up. One day your daughter will know how hard you fought, it may not be for 10 or 20 years but it is all public record and she will know that her father did not willingly step out of her life, but was rather alienated and forced out by her mother. Please don't blame yourself, the system is severly flawed, especially in California. It is totally biased against Fathers and you basically have to proive that the mother is a crackhead or a criminal to gain custody in CA, and I mean seriously prove it! All she has to do is show up. It all disgusts me.

   I do have a lawyer and she has e-mailed my supervisor and called them. I am not ordered to pay anything. I pay the mortgage because I cannot sell the home as both our names are on the mortgage. I don't even know waht she wants they are just trying to get me to pay her. The prob. is that I am in the military and they actually listen to her.

My STBX is harrasing me at my place of employment for support. There is no court order pertaining to custody of our child or ordering child support. I currently have physical custody of my child EOW for one week at a time, 2 weeks a month. I also pay for all childcare costs and the mortgage on our family home which she move out of earlier this year due to her affair and wanting to live near her new boyfriend and away from me. She works full time and has never asked me for anything, just went stright to my employer and started complaining. Now it is stressful and difficult for me at work as they are pressuring me to give her money. i have tried to hash out custody visitation through the court earlier this year, they assigned a GAL, interviewed, and nothin since. Court is next year. Any help would be appreciated.

Get a lawyer. Document her erratic and irresponsible behavior. Focus on how detrimental it will be for your daughter to live solely with her, and back it up with proof. Do not allow her to leave the state with your daughter. Tell her she can go but daughter stays. Be careful she is going to come after you for all your money and is going to try and take your daughter from you. Don't be nice, hammer her to the wall with evidence and facts. Focus only on your daughter. Right now if she does have a bonafide documented anxiety diorder then use it against her. Do not communicate with her or negotiate. Get a lawyer and communicate with her only in writing with your lawyers advice beforehand. GET A LAWYER!

Wow, what a messed up system, doesn't surprise me though.

That's waht I was wondering, if his name was on the B.C., that should get him some sort of visitation i would think, even just a day here and there.

Wow, that blows no rights for fathers I guess. Poor kid is never gonna know his dad. Mom will make sure of that. Get that check over ASAP though. What a joke.