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Thank you guys. Your support means alot to me.

I wrote her a letter last night stating my love for her but also that I can't see it work anymore and that I don't want to keep her bound by our marriage like a caged animal. I must say ....... I thought she will at least feel sad after reading the letter but she just read it and afterwards continued watching TV. I did see some happyness in her face and I could tell she is glad it is all comming to an end. I am going to search for a good lawyer today and state my case with him and hopefully my ods will be good to keep my son. I don't want him as a companion but I know she isn't a good mother. She is never around and never does anything in the house. I just don't understand why she wants to fight for him now. She told me she wants to take our son with because if she leaves him with me people will spread rumors that she ins't a good mother.

Anyhow. I will post often as our divorce moves through its stages. I know I am going to need alot of support.

Thank you guys.

Yeah that is pretty much what every one said. I should forget her and move on. Regardless if she have a new boyfriend or not. She already told me she doesn't love me never will. So why delay.

I don't know. I still have such strong feelings towards her.

I guess I am also afraid of being alone ........... how did you guys cope with that ?

I know I won't be alone if I have my son with me and then my ex can go to hell. But if the court decide my son must stay with her then I am going to be devestated.

Hi every one.

I am all the way from South Africa and I searched the net and could not find a single local support forum which could supple me with detailed answers. So I am hoping me posting here can help, and that the law practiced in the US is similar to ours.

Background
My ex-wanna be (my wife wants to divorce me) have known each other for 10 years and we have been married for 5 years. During the time of our marriage I have been very distant with my feelings towards her. We have had a lot of fights (still do) but yet we remained together. Two years ago our son was born and things looked up as he brought us closer. But then since last year November our marriage started to go down hill again.

She started a new job at a attorney firm (as a secretary) and she stayed out one night for a year end function. Upon her arrival home the next day she told me she was going to start competing in marathons. I was totally shocked since she never were the type who took any interest in such act ivies. She has became obsessive with her "running" and I could not dare to say a thing wrong in that direction. I later found out that she is running with her bosses brother who is managing the office she is working at. During the time starting text messaging him and later on confined in him that she is not happy with her marriage and that she doesn't love me. She is hiding her mobile phone from me so I have no clue what is being said. I confronted her but she said it is all work or running related. He often takes her during office hours to go shop (for new running equipment), drive with him on his motor cycle etc. The man I am suspecting she is having an affair with is married with 2 children (although my wife denies having an affair or feelings toward the suspected lover)

I have always helped my wife with the house hold choirs but as of late with her running schedule she is neglecting most if not all of them and I am stuck with all of it.

- I cook meals
- I look after our son when she is gone
- I do the washing
- I do the folding and packing away of laundry
- Often have to do the dishes and clean the house.
- Have to pay for a household to iron our clothes since I have no time to do it and my wife neglects it.
- I change our sons nappies in the mornings and clean him up and get him ready for school. I pack his school bag and check that he has clean clothes. My wife only make sure he has his bottles ready.

The list goes on.

So now I want to know. With the limited background given. What are my chances of getting custody of my son ? What loop holes should I watch out for ?

I cried over and over and over begging my wife not to leave since I deeply love her but she says she made her mind and she has to stick to it and that it is over. She wants to take our son and move out and grant me visiting rights every weekend but if I am not going to co-operate with her she can and make sure her lawyer make sure I see my son every 2nd weekend.

Last note. My wife is working for the attorney firm and is getting unlimited support and representation in court for free. So dragging this out is not going to be a good thing for me since I don't earn a big salary.

Please any advice is more than welcome

Thanking you in advance