Messages

I guess nobody out there can help at all?  Any suggestions or advice would be great... I just want to get all of this taken care of so my children can be happy and have a mother and father who love them.

My whole situation is a mess right now and I am really not sure where to start so I will just do my best to give a good overview of the siuation.  I got divorced in Feb of 2006 and I moved in with soem friends, my child support was set at 600 a month for my 2 kids.  I paid this on time every month until January of 2007.  At this time I had to pack up and move out of state as I could not afford to live off what I was making in Louisiana.  I then moved to Oregon where my family is and got an apartment and lived off of my retirement that I had taken out when I left my job in LA.  I tried for months to find a job and could not do so.  During this time I got behind on my child support.  I then moved with my girlfriend to California where her family lived, and it took me a few more months to get a job there and we lived with her folks during that time.  I was finally able to get a job and my own place, however due to how much it costs to live here in California versus how much I make I havent been able to make my full child support payments even now.  I have sent $200 a few time and everytime I would do this my ex would not cash the checks.  So now I am about $11,000 behind on child support.  She has now taken me back to court and the judge didnt care that I had struggled to find work and that I had at least attempted to send what money I could when I did finally get a job.  The judge gave me 2 months to come up with $6,000 or I go to prison for 3 months.  My ex also now wants sole custody and $1,100 a month in child support plus an extra $200 a month for the back child support.  I have no way of coming up with this money, and my girlfriend who is now my wife has been trying like crazy to find a job but we live in a very small town that has been hit hard by the bad economy and nobody is hiring.  Now its not that I am saying that my kids are not intitled to the back child support owed because they are, and its not that I dont want to give them more then what I can right now but I just cant make money appear out of thin air.  Wth enough time put in where I work I will eventually make good money and I plan on going back to school to go for my masters degree (as my work pays for this).  However this will all take time and no matter what I try or how much money I try to send every month my ex is determined to see me put in prison.  I think alot of it is due to anger over the divorce as she is constantly asking me to come back to her and why I left and how I ruined her life and so on and so on.  She calls me names in front of the kids, she calls my wife names all the time.  I just want to find a way to make this work for everyone.  I would love nothing more then to find a payment plan I can afford and be able to modify as I make more money or my wife finally finds work.  I just want to be there for my kids, I want to take care of them and support them both financially and emotionally and if I go to prison I will lose my job and my home and everything I own.  My wife and step-daughter have nowhere to go and will be out on the streets and I wont be able to get a job in my field ever again as I have to be able to pass very high security checks as I handle very for your eyes only documents.  I will not be able to do that anymore with a prison record.  This worries me due to all that I have done to get here in my career as well as the fact that then I will be lucky to be able to get very low paying jobs and then how will I ever be able to support my children.  I am so stressed and so worried and I just want nothing more then to find a way to make this right.  The judge says she doesnt care if I can afford to live or not and that she doesnt care that I have tried to send what I can.  I feel like I basically have no rights and that because I am the man I should just have to live in the streets and send every dime I can scrounge up to the ex.  I just dont know what to do.  I cant even afford a lawyer but according to their money standards I make too much for a free lawyer.  It all seems so hopeless for both me and my children.  I know what its like to grow up without a dad and I dont want that for them.