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While the schedules that were shared are typical for long distance,there is something else to keep in mind. It's VERY important toconsider the fact that your ex has had minimal time and a continuedpattern of "lack of contact" with your child.

The schedules that were shared could be seen as a point to work toward,but I'd first argue for time to begin in smaller amounts. Though thiswould be difficult due to distance, I think it's VERY important. Itsounds as though your child hasn't spent any overnights with your ex(at least not recently) so I'd think it'd be VERY reasonable to wait onextended time such as weeks. I'm not saying this to keep the ex out ofthe child's life, but rather to look at the ex's past involvement.

I'd ask for weekend time (once a month, or every other month, whateveryou can reasonably afford), with transportation costs split. Dependingon how comfortable your child is with your ex this could be for theafternoon Saturday and Sunday, or longer periods of time. I'd then workup to the whole weekend before extending that to week long time.

What I'd ask for is additional methods of contact between the ex andthe child (phone calls, and possible e-mail if the child is old enoughto e-mail.)

I'm not an expert, but my situation was VERY similar with no contactfor years at a time, and the judge DID take that into consideration.The important thing though is to present it (to your ex, and the judge) to show that you are encouraging the relationship, but also cautious because of the lack of consistency shown by your ex.

Sorry for the confusion. I wasn't looking for reimbursement BEFORE travel, just a way to make sure that the reimbursement actually happened each time so we don't fall into a pattern of the CP driving and providing all expenses every time.

The only part listed on the court order about reimbursement was the one line that was already posted: "NCP shall reimburse CP 'X' amount for each visit to cover travel expenses." It does not state WHEN the reimbursement is to take place. . . (within 10 days, etc.)

We have had patterns of situations similar to this, where the NCP follows only the parts of the agreement that they like (before it was court ordered.)

I also can't afford to go back to court because court is in the town of the NCP. I would have to drive up there again, take time off of work, take our child out of school, etc. So I'm looking for other options. It's not about fighting with the NCP, but simply because I honestly can not afford to do all of the transportation.

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately, living in a college town, the bus and train are a LOT more expensive on the weekends--I had previously thought of that as an alternative.

But it's nice to know that if things don't go as planned that I have an alternative that won't laid myself in trouble in court. . .

This is one idea I had. . .
If I was not reimbursed for travel expenses, would I be able to send a letter to the NCP stating this:

"As per our court order, we are to split travel expenses, with a reimbursement from you of X dollars. As I did not receive this reimbursement from you for the weekend of X, I am unable to cover the cost of travel to your community for visitation of the weekend of X." (The next scheduled weekend) "I am not canceling visitation. I am simply unable to bring Child to your community. You are welcome to visit Child in this community for the same hours. By your covering the full expense of travel to this community for that weekend, that would equal the reimbursement from the weekend of X."

What do ou think?
Any thoughts would be appreciated. . .

That was a good idea, however the NCP was only granted 4 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday every other weekend. By having the CP drive to that community it would eliminate half of the driving because the CP has family to stay with in that town for the weekend.

The CP and NCP have a new court order set to begin in January. (Previously there was no court order.) There is considerable driving distance between the parties and the order states "NCP shall reimburse CP 'X' amount for each visit to cover travel expenses." This amount would equal each party being responsible for half of the transportation costs.

One day after the court date, the NCP has begun stating that they may not be able to pay the full amount. The CP can not afford to transport the child every other weekend (as per the court order) without transportation costs being split.

What is the alternative? The CP is NOT trying to deprive the NCP of seeing their child, but honestly can not afford providing all expenses.

CP and NCP have only just now created a court order which includes limited time (4 hours Sat and Sun on alternating weekends) due to the fact that the NCP was not a part of the child's life for several years. (Child is now 7 years old.)

However, for holidays there is only a box checked that states "Alternating the major holidays." It then lists the holidays such as Christmas Eve, Christmas Day etc.

Parents have agreed that NCP would have time on Christmas Eve this year. The CP has tried numerous times to set a schedule so that it would be written down (at least in an e-mail) that it would be for 4 hours (the equivalent amount of time as on the weekends), especially as the child does not yet have a consistent relationship with the NCP, and this is the first time the court order would be in effect (alternating weekends do not begin until January due tot he NCP's request.)

NCP responds with comments such as "we'll have to do that," or other statements that do not provide a set plan. The CP is becoming frustrated as this is hindering the ability to set other family plans. Any suggestions on what to do?