Holiday Visitation -- How To Interpret Court Order

[LoveMyChild]

CP and NCP have only just now created a court order which includes limited time (4 hours Sat and Sun on alternating weekends) due to the fact that the NCP was not a part of the child's life for several years. (Child is now 7 years old.)

However, for holidays there is only a box checked that states "Alternating the major holidays." It then lists the holidays such as Christmas Eve, Christmas Day etc.

Parents have agreed that NCP would have time on Christmas Eve this year. The CP has tried numerous times to set a schedule so that it would be written down (at least in an e-mail) that it would be for 4 hours (the equivalent amount of time as on the weekends), especially as the child does not yet have a consistent relationship with the NCP, and this is the first time the court order would be in effect (alternating weekends do not begin until January due tot he NCP's request.)

NCP responds with comments such as "we'll have to do that," or other statements that do not provide a set plan. The CP is becoming frustrated as this is hindering the ability to set other family plans. Any suggestions on what to do?

[Gestalt]

sooo CP write and says, "maybe kiddo should be with you for 4 hours on x-mas eve?"

and NCP write back and says "we'll have to do that"



If I were this CP, then I would toss out a time, "does 1pm to 5 pm work for you?"

[Kitty C.]

Personally, I wouldn't make it a question...........I'd make it a statement.  Like 'Since you haven't given me definitive times after numerous communications, I have set it for 1-5 pm. so that our family can plan around it.  If this time will not work for you, then you must notify me by 8 am that morning (or whatever time you are comfortable with).  Any change after that time will require a change in date, as I cannot allow my family to suspend all plans on spur of the moment, especially during a holiday.'

Considering all the communication with your ex and you still can't get a definitive answer, it's time to take the bull by the horns and 'tell' the NCP when things will happen.  If the NCP doesn't like it, tell them you tried on numerous occasions to determine a time that would work for both of you, which failed.  And maybe in the future, the NCP can be more prompt in confirming plans without doing it at the last moment, requiring you to decide for them.